“I feel like I’m wasting a fortune just standing here.” – Homer Simpson Zombie Simpons will be broadcast in high definition for the first time next Sunday. Yesterday, Fox released the above as a promo image (I found it on Simpsons Channel). For a cartoon “High Definition” apparently means adding a few shadows and a little bit of depth. How revolutionary. You know what kind of television shows really benefit from HD? Sports programs, nature programs, and anything where very attractive people wear very little clothing. I can watch it for days. You know what kind of television doesn’t…
Month: February 2009
Quote of the Day
“What’d you get that for?” – Bart Simpson “For knocking Mister Burns out of a third story window.” – Homer Simpson “Makes sense to me.” – Bart Simpson “Did he die?” – Lisa Simpson “What am I, a doctor?” – Homer Simpson
Burn in Hell, News Corp
“Sir, bad news from accounting, the economy’s hit us pretty hard.” – Mr. Smithers “Heh, tough times, huh? I’ve lived through twelve recessions, eight panics, and five years of McKinleynomics. I’ll survive this.” – C.M. Burns “Even so, sir, we could stand to lay off a few employees.” – Mr. Smithers If our grim economic times are to have a silver lining, this might be it. From The New York Times: The News Corporation, the media empire controlled by Mr. Murdoch, said Thursday that it lost $6.4 billion in its second quarter as profit fell sharply at its television and…
Quote of the Day
“Do the toilets go backwards in here?” – Bart Simpson “No, to combat homesickness we’ve installed a device that makes them swirl the correct – American – way.” – Amb. Avril Ward
End the Simpsons #3 – The Rise of Team Mischief
“Doctor, if you just talk to him for five minutes without mentioning our son Bart you’d see how sane he is.” – Marge Simpson “You mean there really is a Bart? Good Lord!” – New Bedlam Psychiatrist In the before time, in the long long ago, Homer and Bart Simpson didn’t like each other. Homer saw Bart as an ungrateful, undisciplined troublemaker who made his life harder than it needed to be; Bart saw Homer as a rather stern authority figure who was hypocritical, inattentive and downright mean. Homer was a bad father and Bart a bad son, but they…
Quote of the Day
“Where’s Grandpa? Wasn’t he invited?” – Lisa Simpson “Yeah, but his reply envelope just had a check to the gas company in it.” – Bart Simpson
Simpsons Chewable Morphine
“You look familiar, sir. Are you on the television or something?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Sorry buddy, you got me confused with Fred Flintstone.” – Homer Simpson I always enjoyed it when the show would make fun of the neverending parade of shoddy merchandise Fox would roll out to pad the margins. But with this, I think they’ve crossed a kind of cosmic line of irony and self ignorance hitherto unknown to humanity. The Simpsons put animation back into primetime two decades after The Flintstones went off the air and had the good sense to drop knowingly ironic references to it. Of…
Quote of the Day
“Bart, I could kiss you, if the Bigger Brothers hadn’t made me sign a form promising I wouldn’t.” – Tom
John Updike Didn’t Watch Zombie Simpsons
Noted author John Updike died last week. In 2000 he was a guest star in that excruciatingly bad episode where Krusty finds out he has a daughter and proceeds to get into a mob war over her violin. (It didn’t make any sense then, either.) In April of 2001 Updike discussed his guest spot at a “meet the author” type event in Cincinnati; he also said this: I used to watch The Simpsons faithfully until they changed the hour when it was shown, and it suddenly no longer fit with my domestic rhythm. So I can’t claim to be a morbidly avid…
Quote of the Day
“What good is money if you can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?” – C.M. Burns
Coincidentally, My House Is Made From Wood
“Don’t kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!” – Troy McClure Earlier today the season 12 episode “Lisa the Tree Hugger” was on, and since I was out of beer and dinner wouldn’t be ready for 30 minutes, I decided to watch it. I remember watching this episode when it first came on; I don’t remember when that was or what it was about other than Lisa taking up a cause in an non-hilarious way. For those of you who haven’t seen it and hopefully won’t watch it, it…
Quote of the Day
“But that’s Michelangelo’s David; it’s a masterpiece.” – Marge Simpson “It’s filth! It graphically portrays parts of the human body, which, practical as they may be, are evil.” – Helen Lovejoy
Simpsonized Simpsons
“If he marries your mother, Marge, we’ll be brother and sister! And then, our kids, they’ll be horrible freaks with pink skin, no overbites and five fingers on each hand!” – Homer Simpson That Simpsonizer website is the best thing real fans got out of that mostly crappy movie; I hope they never take it down. And so, for no reason whatsoever, I put images of the Simpsons themselves into the Simpsonizer. Presented without further comment.
Quote of the Day
“You know, sometimes even I’d rather be watching football. Does St. Louis still have a team?” – God “No, they moved to Phoenix.” – Homer Simpson “Oh yeah.” – God