![Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpsons Got Renewed Again! [Crowd Turns, Shrugs]](https://deadhomers.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/amilhousedivided-1.png)
“Can I have my shirts back at least?” – Kirk van Houten “Okay, you heard the lady. Why don’t you take it outside, alright?” – Pyro Zombie Simpsons got the renewal nod from old dad and new dad yesterday. Both are very proud of their large adult son: “It’s a sincere pleasure to announce the Season 33 and 34 pick-ups for THE SIMPSONS. We keep hoping that, eventually, they’ll get it right,” said Charlie Collier, CEO, FOX Entertainment. “Profound respect for and congratulations to Matt, Jim, Al, Matt and the many other wonderful partners working really hard to finally elevate ‘The…
Year: 2021
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“In order to keep our broadcasting license we devote Sunday night dead time to public service shows of limited appeal. In that spirit, we bring you Gabbin’ About God.” – KBBL Announcer
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“What is your area of expertise?” – Adult Education Annex Administrator“Well, I can tell the difference between butter and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” – Homer Simpson“No you can’t, Mr. Simpson, no one can!” – Adult Education Annex Administrator
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“Now, why are we doomed to this Quimby quagmire, you ask, oh, reasonable listener? Because this town is under the stranglehold of a few tie-dyed tree-huggers who would rather play hacky sack than lock up the homeless.” – Birch Barlow Rush Limbaugh died, and while I have read a few appropriately scathing summations, this is the best I’ve seen at explaining his appeal. Birch was cool to the uncoolest people in America, and it was worth tens of millions of dollars per year.
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“Sir, the TV ratings for the launch are the highest in ten years!” – NASA Guy That was damn fine television.
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“Digital audiotape my butt! When I was a kid we had compact discs and I don’t recall no one complaining.” – Bart Simpson“Damn right.” – Jake the Barber
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“Ahh, the morning horoscope . . . Today will be a day like every other day. . . . Oh, it just gets worse and worse!” – Homer Simpson Things are calming down, I thought. I’ll have time to blog, I figured. The post about what Disney is going to do with the show won’t sprawl on me to the point that I don’t even know how many chunks to break it into, I told myself.
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“Get out of my office!” – Matt Groening Happy birthday!
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“Attention everyone, this is Principal Skinner. Some student, possibly Bart Simpson, has been circulating candy hearts featuring crude, off color sentiments.” – Principal Skinner
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“Hello, I’m Mr. Plow. Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snow blowers? And the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow?” – Homer Simpson
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“Uh-oh, two Independent Thought Alarms in one day! The students are over stimulated. Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.” – Principal Skinner“I warned you! Didn’t I warn you? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!” – Groundskeeper Willie
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“Have you noticed any change in Bart?” – Marge Simpson “New glasses?” – Homer Simpson “No. He looks like something might be disturbing him.” – Marge Simpson “Probably misses his old glasses.” – Homer Simpson“I guess we could get more involved in Bart’s activities, but then I’d be afraid of smothering him.” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, and then we’d get the chair.” – Homer Simpson “That’s not what I meant.” – Marge Simpson “It was, Marge, admit it.” – Homer Simpson
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“Lis, today I am a god.” – Bart Simpson“Is that why you’re sitting on an ice cream sandwich?” – Lisa Simpson“Eww.” – Bart Simpson
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“Hey, Mel, bring me another nicotine patch! Uh, I think there’s some space on my butt.” – Krusty the Klown
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“The next few weeks at my dream job were like a wonderful waking coma.” – Homer Simpson
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“Well, I’m glad some people could resist the lures of the big game.” – Reverend Lovejoy“Oh my God! I forgot the game!” – Parishioner
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“Can’t I come home later?” – Milhouse van Houten“There’s not going to be a home later.” – Luann van Houten
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“Ahh, they think they’re so high and mighty, just cause they never got caught driving without pants.” – Moe
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“Holy cow! You just fell on Aerosmith.” – Barney Gumble
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“Forgot there was a physical today, huh?” – Homer Simpson