“Ah, not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.” – Homer Simpson “That’s specious reasoning, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “Thank you, honey.” – Homer Simpson “By your logic, I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh. How does it work?” – Homer Simpson “It doesn’t work.” – Lisa Simpson “Uh-huh.” – Homer Simpson “It’s just a stupid rock.” – Lisa Simpson “Uh-huh.” – Homer Simpson “But I don’t see any tigers around here, do you?” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, I want to buy your rock.” – Homer Simpson Happy…
Tag: Much Apu About Nothing
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Kearney, this fake ID, it is truly excellent. Say, if you tell me where you obtained it, I will overlook the ice cream sandwiches concealed in your armpits.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Deal.” – Kearney
Quote of the Day
“Sign’s floating away, Chief.” – Lou
Quote of the Day
“Please identify this object.” – Homer Simpson “It appears to be the flag which disappeared from the public library last year.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Correct. Now, we all know the thirteen stripes are for good luck, but why does the American flag have precisely forty-sevens stars?” – Homer Simpson “Because this particular flag is ridiculously out of date. The library must have purchased it during the brief period in 1912 after New Mexico became a state but before Arizona did.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Eh, partial credit.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Marge, look who I brought home!” – Homer Simpson “Oh, Homer, are you rounding up immigrants?” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Open your eyes, Lisa. Our schools are so jam packed with immigrants, kids like Bart have lost the will to learn.” – Homer Simpson “There’s no denying it, sis.” – Bart Simpson
Sunday Preview: Much Apu About Something
Sanjay passes his stake in the Kwik-E-Mart to his millennial son, Jay, who turns it into a hip, health food market against Apu’s insistence on tradition. Bart, whom Homer had convinced to give up pranking, is called upon to return to his trickster life and take down the new store. I will say that it’s good to know that the current waiting period to shit all over your own house is 19 years, 8 months. That was when “Much Apu about Nothing” aired. I know this isn’t the first time zombie simpsons has parodied a Simpsons parodied title, but this is the first time it has bothered…
Quote of the Day
“Good evening, young man, my name is Charles Norwood. Furthermore to this beer, I would also like three of your finest, cheapest cigars. Here’s my ID, which confirms my adultivity.” – Kearney Happy birthday Josh Weinstein!
Quote of the Day
“You know what? I’m going to vote no on 24.” – Marge Simpson “Mom, you’re the greatest! Can I have this liquorice?” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, the government don’t control the sky! What if you lived in a balloon?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “That’s it!” – Lisa Simpson “Did you hear that, Mom? She’s as dumb as me!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I never should’ve bought this button! Can I have my three dollars back?” – Homer Simpson “Store credit only.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Mayor, I hate to break it to you, but your city is infested with bears.” – Homer Simpson “Yeah, and these ones are smarter than the average bear. They swiped my picnic basket.” – Moe “Think of the children!” – Helen Lovejoy “Very well, I promise swift and decisive action against these hibernating hucksters.” – Mayor Quimby
Reading Digest: Election Hangover Edition
“It’s a landslide, yes on 24! The proposition passed with a record ninety-five percent.” – Kent Brockman “When are people going to learn? Democracy doesn’t work!” – Homer Simpson Shorter than average Reading Digest this week for the obvious reason that there was this election thing taking up everyone’s time and attention. All was not squandered, however, as we did get several excellent election related links, including a few with great YouTube. There’s also an assortment of other stuff, including usage, opera and Karl Rove. Enjoy. Soup of the Day – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this awesome…
Quote of the Day
“Executive, Legislative, and, uh, Judicial.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “No, no and no! Ugh, maybe we should start all over with the electrical college.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Book ’em, Lou. One count of being a bear, and one count of being an accessory to being a bear.” – Chief Wiggum Happy birthday to David S./X. Cohen!
Who Gives a Shit “Where” Springfield Is?
“Now, they may ask you to locate your town on a map of the US. So, let’s do that . . . uh, Springfield, Springfield . . . um, right here.” – Homer Simpson “Dad, you’re not pointing anywhere near Springfield.” – Lisa Simpson When I saw my Twitter and inbox begin to go bonkers because Groening apparently said the “real” Springfield is the one in Oregon, I thought “huh” and made a note of it for Reading Digest. Then it kept going, literally every item in my Google Alert for “The Simpsons” was related to it, and I even…
Quote of the Day
“This is Kent Brockman, with a special report from the Channel 6 News Copter. A large, bear-like animal, most likely a bear, has wandered down from the hills in search of food or, perhaps, employment.” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
Image yoinked from Wikipedia. “I love this land, where I have the freedom to say and to think and to charge whatever I want!” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“Say, let’s take a relaxed attitude toward work and watch the baseball match. The Ny Mets are my favorite squadron.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“You want to pick on immigrants? Then pick on Willie!” – Groundskeeper Willie “Willie, please, the children want to pick on someone their own size.” – Principal Skinner