“I like our chances, son.” – Homer Simpson “Ugh. Your father’s not supposed to help build your racer but you should at least consult him about it.” – Soapbox Derby Racing Official
Tag: Saturdays of Thunder
Quote of the Day
“Bart! . . . You can’t weld with such a little flame. Stupid kid.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Patty, Selma, what a pleasant surprise.” – Homer Simpson “Whaddya know, he’s wearing pants.” – Patty Bouvier “I owe you a lunch.” – Selma Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“Goodbye, son!” – Homer Simpson “Hey, Bart, I think they’re finally hauling your Dad away.” – Milhouse van Houten “Maybe it’s for the best.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“A conventional design.” – Martin Prince “Oh, yeah? Are you building a racer, Martin?” – Bart Simpson “In between some other projects. Well, gentlemen, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve booked some time at the wind tunnel.” – Martin Prince
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Homer, I can’t find the safety goggles for the power saw.” – Bart Simpson “If stuff starts flying, just turn your head.” – Homer Simpson “Oh, check.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“And now, to present the trophy, three time soap box derby champion, Ronny Beck!” – MC “Congratulations, Bart, seeing you out there brought back a lot of memories.” – Ronnie Beck Happy birthday Russi Taylor!
Quote of the Day
“Ugly . . . ugly . . . butch.” – Patty Bouvier “What’s the matter, can’t you find a hairstyle you like?” – Marge Simpson “Oh, hold the phone, that’s the one for me.” – Patty Bouvier “Ed Asner?” – Marge Simpson “No, next to him: Mary Tyler Moore.” – Patty Bouvier Happy birthday James L. Brooks!
Quote of the Day
“Attention everyone, I say to those who question the value of the space program: behold!” – Martin Prince
Quote of the Day
“Whoa, where’s your helmet, son?” – Soapbox Derby Racing Official “Helmets are for wusses, sir.” – Bart Simpson “No, I don’t think I can let you go without a safety helmet.” – Soapbox Derby Official “This is my son, and if he doesn’t want to wear one, you can’t make him.” – Homer Simpson “Okay, fine, I want to get out of here sometime today.” – Soapbox Derby Official
A Little Unintentional Meta-Blogging Humor for New Year’s Eve
“Good morning, everybody, and welcome to an event that harkens back to the carefree days of the Great Depression: the soap box derby.” – TV Announcer Every once and a while I am moved to briefly praise the people up at WordPress HQ. They do a regularly excellent job of making sure that everything works, the new features that they add tend far more toward “useful” than “bloat”, and their customer support, even for people who aren’t paying jack, is responsive, friendly and informative. Sometimes, though, things go awry. In this case it’s a very harmless awry, and it’s far more my fault than theirs, but I laughed when I saw it. Unexpectedly, I got an e-mail from them yesterday, subject “Your Annual Report from WordPress.com”. A quick search of my inbox reveals that in four years of blogging with them, this is the first time I’ve gotten an “Annual Report”. Turns out it’s a new thing this year, a cutesy little flash graphic with your site’s stats that’s a way to encourage people to blog more. This is part of the one for Dead Homer Society: In case you can’t see the image, it’s titled “Crunchy numbers” and reads: About 55,000 tourists visit Liechtenstein every year. This blog was viewed about 970,000 times in 2012. If it were Liechtenstein, it would take bout 18 years for that many people to see it. Your blog had more visits than a small country in Europe! So this is some script that takes a look at your pageview stats, matches that with a predetermined list of numbers and figures, and then writes this paragraph into the e-mail. If we’d had 50,000 pageviews this year, it’d probably say something like “About 12,000 tourists vomit on the Nauseator every year. This blog was viewed about 50,000 times in 2012. If it were the Nauseator, it would take about 4 years for that many people to vomit. Your blog caused more people to vomit than a ride at Disney Land!”. They’re being a little disingenuous because that 970,000 number is pageviews, not unique visitors, so comparing it to tourists in Europe is like counting the number of visitors a country has by the number of people who request a brochure on their website. But those little idiosyncrasies aside, it’s the image at the right that cracked me up. Unlike the cheery site stats and graphics that are supposed to make you the blogger feel good about all the time you spend complaining on the internet, it’s a chart that’s plummeting like a stone and has a distinctly depressing appearance to it. They grabbed that particular image because the Zombie Simpsons page was by far our most popular this year (just north of 27,000 views), and if you include the child pages (which it obviously does), that graph is the first image. It’s the average Amazon stars for the DVDs from Chapter 1, and the reason it’s dropping like a rock is because it’s about Zombie…
Quote of the Day
“Expiration date? June, Nineteen Eighty Ni-uh, Two Thousand Twelve . . . yeah.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, are you ordering junk of the TV again?” – Marge Simpson “Shh, they’ll hear you!” – Homer Simpson
Bonus Quote of the Day
“I’m actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as Buck Henderson: Union Buster, and Troy and Company’s Summertime Smile Factory.” – Troy McClure Phil Hartman would’ve been sixty-four today. Happy birthday.
Quote of the Day
“Unfortunately, a century of neglect has turned this tombstone into a depressing eyesore.” – Dr. Nick Riviera “So, what? I guess we’re gonna have to throw it away.” – Troy McClure “Not so fast, Troy! With one application of Spiffy, you’ll think the body’s still warm.” – Dr. Nick Riviera Happy 20th Anniversary to “Saturdays of Thunder”! Original airdate: 14 November 1991.
“Saturdays of Thunder” Spews Truth
“Dear God, not again!” – Dave from the National Fatherhood Institute Toward the end of this commentary, right after Martin slaps Bart to get him to pay attention, Jean comments on how much violence there is in this one. He laughs as he recalls that it might have been a reaction to how stressed out everyone was while they were doing this. I can’t comment on that, but he’s right that there are a lot of violent images in here (Nelson whipping Bart as they race, Martin crashing and getting set on fire, even the unfortunate shark attack). The difference is that none of it is drawn out or gratuitous. The things Jean notes as violent wouldn’t even rate as such past Season 10 or so, even the shark attack. It lasts less than two seconds, is completely bloodless, and is funny not just for being violent, but also for being completely absurd (made even better by the cry of “not again!”). Six guys on this one. 0:30 – This one premiered before the first televised showing of Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” video, and included the second part where he smashed up a car, which caused a lot of controversy. On the plus side, the episode got great ratings. 2:20 – They were trying to come up with a name for a fake detergent, and the first eight or so they came up with were already real detergents before they got to Spiffy. 2:45 – When they were first designing Dr. Nick, they’d heard Azaria’s voice and thought he was doing an impression of Gabor Csupo, so they did a caricature of him. Azaria was actually doing Ricky Ricardo. 3:30 – Vlada from The Critic was also designed after Csupo. 3:45 – Ken Levine (who’s on the commentary) and his writing partner David Isaacs (who isn’t) worked on a show with Mary Tyler Moore for a year, so they thought the Mary Tyler Moore haircuts on Patty & Selma were hilarious. Jean cracks that Levine said “worked with Mary Tyler Moore” the same way other people say “I served in Vietnam for two years”. It was funny. 4:30 – They had a censor battle over Bart welding in horribly unsafe ways. Their reply was that it was hard for kids to get access to welding equipment so they wouldn’t really do it. I guess that worked. 4:50 – They only had one report of a kid ever getting hurt imitating the Simpsons. He was trying to skateboard down some stairs, but they were skeptical of the story. 5:40 – Discussing the avalanche of cliches they parodied in the scene where McBain’s black partner gets shot right before retirement. 6:00 – Someone, I think it’s Reiss but it’s hard to tell, was thrilled that they used the “Mendoza!” line on MST3K like a year after this. 6:20 – Jean thinks the fatherhood test was a real thing Sam Simon found. 7:20 – Reiss jokes that the years he and Jean…
Blockbuster? I Know That Store!
This is a minor point, but it goes to something larger. The above image is from Season 3’s “Saturdays of Thunder”. It’s just a brief establishing shot, but it manages to poke fun at the format wars of the late 1970s and early 1980s. Notably, it needs no dialogue to set it up and it doesn’t take aim at any one institution. It’s a joke at the expense of a general cultural artifact, and that means that all these years later it still works even though the specific conflict it describes is long over. After all, vanquished video formats have been with us ever since, in everything from LaserDisc to DIVX to HD-DVD. Now take a look at the image below from this week’s “A Midsummer’s Nice Dream”: Here’s something that not only needed dialogue to set it up, but isn’t going to age nearly as well. Yes, video rental stores are quickly passing from the scene, but Zombie Simpsons didn’t trust its audience enough to leave it at that. Instead they had to go after Blockbuster specifically. In fact, they have so little faith that people will get the joke that they made sure that the entire sign is visible. Again, this is minor in and of itself. But however little it is, it’s a nice demonstration of how low Zombie Simpsons aims its jokes. Given the chance, they’ll always go for petty, referential humor over a meatier target that requires a tad more from them.
Reading Digest: Mendoza! Edition
“Mendoza!” – McBain If you’re reading this site, then you have probably already seen the fantastic College Humor mashup of all the McBain clips. I would like to point out two things about it. First, between Tango & Cash, Lethal Weapon 2, and License to Kill, 1989 was the year of the suave, well protected drug lord and the heroes who break the rules to bring them down. Second, none of those clips are from Zombie Simpsons. And don’t give me any of that “Schwarzenegger stopped making movies to be the governor” crap. He didn’t stop making movies until Season 15, well into Zombie Simpsons. We’ve also got some great fan art, some excellent usage, a Simpsons story told entirely through Facebook updates, The New York Times trolling Wikipedia with a truly stupid Simpsons reference, and a couple of people vowing to write more on their blogs (good luck!). Enjoy. Crazy Art by: Enkel Dika – Smooth Charlie’s Click of the Week is this set of sweet pop culture paintings, especially the one of Homer and Marge as Frankenstein’s Monster and Bride of Frankenstein. I love the way the steam from the power plant bleeds into Homer-stein’s shirt. **QUIRKY MUST SEE HOMER SIMPSON MUG** – Live in New Zealand? You can get this awesome fan made Homer mug for twelve dollars. The way the mouth recesses into the mug is really cool. McBain: the Movie – I put this up on Twitter on Wednesday, but it deserves its own link because it’s been all over the place since. If you take all of the McBain clips the show ever did and patch them together, you can make a pretty decent short film (via Springfield Springfield’s Twitter feed). Mauve his mop and other mashed up movies – This is a link to the McBain movie above, but it’s also got a sweet McBain poster and some other movie mashup videos. GOOD GRAFFITI – SKARY – Excellent Simpsons related graffiti, I like Gil and Jimbo the best. Donut – I found this on Banksy’s site yesterday when I was writing that post about Murdoch. That is a police escort Homer would stand up and salute. It’s funny because it’s true! Plus some thoughts on mortification practices outside of graduate school. – Tisk tisk, only moderate usage in a jokey but interesting post about how much better Ph.D.s are than the rest of us. In “Lisa vs. the Eighth Commandment”, Homer says “It’s funny cause it’s true”, and in “Bart the Murderer” Fat Tony articulates the “because”, but to my knowledge Homer never actually says “It’s funny because it’s true”. Philosophiae doctoris indeed, cite your sources! A good sit: Not so good for the heart – Excellent usage: Once, on “The Simpsons,’’ Homer and his boss, Montgomery Burns, were trapped by an avalanche in a mountain lodge. Burns expounded on the virtues of a favorite human pastime. “Oh, yes, sitting — the great leveler,’’ he said. “From the mightiest pharaoh to the lowliest…
Compare & Contrast: Mocking 80s Fatherhood
“‘Cosby’s First Law of Intergenerational Perversity: No matter what you tell your child to do, he will always do the opposite.’ Huh?” – Homer Simpson “Don’t you get it, you gotta use reverse psychology.” – Homer’s Brain “That sounds too complicated.” – Homer Simpson “Okay, don’t use reverse psychology.” – Homer’s Brain “Alright, I will!” – Homer Simpson A few months ago, I wrote a post about how you couldn’t really understand where Season 1 was coming from without some grasp of 1980s American television, particularly the enormous number of cookie cutter family sitcoms. The Simpsons, especially in Season 1, reveled in directly attacking those shows. It was written by exceptionally talented guys who had worked in television and finally had a vehicle that allowed them to fire away with every joke they could muster at its expense. The shows The Simpsons was aimed at have all been off the air for twenty years or more at this point, so it’s no surprise that they’ve faded from the cultural scene. Most of them were extremely forgettable in the first place, and even the ones that were big hits are now almost impossible to find on television. The Cosby Show, a two hundred episode behemoth that was the #1 show in America for five straight years, is now only rerun on a spin off of BET that’s available in less than a quarter of US households. This image is the one I created for the post I linked at the top: On the left is, of course, The Cosby Show; the right image is Family Ties, another enormously popular 80s family sitcom that, with the exception of Michael J. Fox, has fallen almost completely down the memory hole. (Like The Cosby Show, these days it is only rerun on an obscure down guide channel, a Discovery Channel spinoff for kids called “The Hub” that is half owned by toy company Hasbro.) The center image is of a show that was never as big as the other two, and is remembered these days mostly for producing Kirk Cameron, who’s since kept a toehold on fame by being very keen on Jebus (and bananas, no judgment, Kirk!). Growing Pains was clearly the prime inspiration behind Zombie Simpsons’ agonizingly glacial “Thicker Than Water” filler segments in “Homer the Father”. The show revolved around the dad, played by Alan Thicke (get it?), a psychiatrist who worked from home and spent most of the episodes dispensing oft ignored advice to his children. Like most family sitcoms, the show featured low grade hijinks and usually came with a lesson at the end wherein it was revealed that, as usual, dad had been right all along. I don’t know if he invented the term, but when Alan Ball (of True Blood and Six Feet Under fame) was writing on the equally reprehensible Cybill, he and the other writers called this the “moment of shit”. I read once that they would start with that and then work backwards; that’s…
Idiot to Again Set Bad Example for the Children
“It’s my dad, lying there on the couch, drinking a beer, staring at the TV. I’ve never seen him like that.” – Bart Simpson It turns out I have nothing to do this Saturday other than celebrate Mole Day. It also turns out that it’s been five months since I set aside some time for a serious day of drinking and Simpsons watching. That means I can celebrate Mole Day by conducting one of my favorite bio-chemistry experiments: my liver, brain and blood oxygen levels versus my old friend ethanol in another Simpsons-Beer Marathon. As with the previous two times I’ve done this on-line, I’ll be starting around 8:00am Eastern Time (12:00 GMT) this Saturday. For those who are new to this site, the background details are here. All you really need to know is that I’m going to watch an entire season of The Simpsons while downing one beer per episode, and I’ll post (increasingly inebriated) updates all day. The poll at right is active, and I’ll watch whichever season you fine individuals select. I’ve already done Seasons 5 and 6, so they aren’t included. For the protection of my good time, Season 7 will not include “Marge Be Not Proud”. Since I’m not giving nearly as much notice this time around, I’ll leave the poll open until Saturday morning. Update 23 October: And it’s Season 4! Thanks to everyone who voted.
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“Deploy, damn you! Deploy!” – Martin Prince This episode is rock solid genius, and while I could go on and on about almost any scene, I’ll just point out one thing and be done. The image above is of a ten-year-old child on fire, not only is it hilarious, it’s not even the only joke on screen. There is The Simpsons, and there is everything else.