“The evening began at the gentlemen’s club where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.” – Homer Simpson “Mr. Simpson, it’s a felony to lie to the FBI.” – Agent Scully “We were sitting in Barney’s car eating packets of mustard, you happy?” – Homer Simpson
Tag: The Springfield Files
Quote of the Day
“Tonight, on Eyewitness News, a man who’s been in a coma for twenty-three years wakes up.” – Kent Brockman “Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?” – Coma Guy “No, she won an Oscar and he’s a Congressman.” – Kent Brockman “Good night!” – Coma Guy
Quote of the Day
“I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens. He came in peace, and then died, only to come back to life. And his name was . . . E.T., the Extra Terrestrial. I love that little guy.” – Reverend Lovejoy
Quote of the Day
“TGIF! Guys, I’m off to Moe’s!” – Homer Simpson “But, Homer, it’s ten in the morning.” – Lenny “Don’t worry, I have a plan. I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty,r and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“It’s such a beautiful night, how about a ghost story?” – Homer Simpson “…and that’s how much college will cost for Maggie!” – Bart Simpson “No! No! Nooooo!” – Homer Simpsonr
Quote of the Day
“I’m telling you: I saw a creature from another planet!” – Homer Simpson “Maybe you just dreamed it?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, yeah? Well, when I came to I was covered with a sticky, translucent goo. Explain that!” – Homer Simpson “More sausage?” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Yo, Dad, can I have a sip of your beer?” – Bart Simpson “Now, son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddys and kids with fake I.D.s.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I just torched a building downtown and I’m afraid I’ll do it again!” – Arsonist “Oh, yeah, right. I’ll just type it up on my invisible typewriter.” – Chief Wiggum
Behind Us Forever: Treehouse of Horror XXVII
“No! No, let me explain! Every Friday evening after work Mr. Burns undergoes a series of medical treatments designed to cheat death for another week.” – Mr. Smithers I’ve been staying with friends in Arlington, VA this week and doing the D.C. tourist thing in Our Nation’s Capital while a constant loop of “Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington” plays inside my head (with a side order of “Amendment to Be“). That left watching another lifeless Zombie Simpsons Halloween special pretty low on my priority list. But watch it I did, and it was, well, lifeless. At the risk of repeating…
Quote of the Day
“Thank God, it’s Friday.” – Dr. Hibbert “Hello? Hello?” – Hans Moleman
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Simpson, look at this lineup and tell us if any of these are the aliens you saw.” – Agent Scully “Yo!” – ALF “No, I’m sorry.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Contradictory Beer Edition
“Here you go, Red Tick Beer.” – Moe “Hmm, bold, refreshing, and something I can’t quite put my finger on.” – Homer Simpson “Needs more dog.” – Red Tick Brewmaster This week FOX announced that Chile would be getting a real life Duff variant, apparently prompted by unlicensed (and, one assumes highly popular) versions that were already on sale. This is amusing in a “merchandising rules everything around me, get the money, dolla dolla bill ya’ll” kind of way, but it seems awfully contradictory. Duff is supposed to be crappy beer that only a swine would drink, but presumably if…
Yes, 1980s Teevee Was That Bad
“Alright! It’s time for ABC’s TGIF lineup!” – Lisa Simpson “Lis, when you get a little older, you’ll learn that Friday’s just another day between NBC’s Must See Thursday and CBS’s Saturday night craporama.” – Bart Simpson This morning, Al Jean retweeted this horrifying YouTube copy of ABC’s network promo for the 1982-83 season: It’s eighteen minutes long and isn’t worth watching in full, but starting at the 7:15 mark you can see three of their new comedies. Two are family sitcoms. The first, “Star of the Family”, starred Brian Dennehy as the dad. Here’s the IMDb summary: Fire Captain…
Quote of the Day
“So I says, blue m&m, red m&m, they all wind up the same color in the end.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: FXX Marketing Shifts Into High Gear Edition
“Were you on my roof last night, stealing my weather vane?” – Ned Flanders “This interview is over!” – Homer Simpson The big 12 day marathon on a channel neither I nor millions of other people get will begin next Thursday morning. This week we’ve got several links about it, including the full transcript of a conference call interview Al Jean did earlier this week (there’s actual news for once!) and some very cool posters. In addition to that, we’ve got more of the fan made Lego Springfield, an unveiling date for the building sized mural in Oregon, Harry Shearer…
Quote of the Day
“Oh, it was awful. They set me on a cold metal table and prodded me with humiliating probes. And th-oh, wait, that was my physical.” – Homer Simpson “Great story, Homer. Really.” – Karl
Quote of the Day
“Thank God it’s Wednesday.” – Jasper “It’s Friday.” – Mrs. Glick “Uh-oh, wrong pills. . . . Uh, little help?” – Jasper
Compare & Contrast: Suspense Show Takeoffs
“For the love of God, help me! I’ve been here for four days and a turtle’s got a hold of my teeth. There he is! Come back here, you. Slow down! I’ll get yeh!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “This is the worst assignment we’ve ever had.” – Agent Scully “Worse than the time we were attacked by the flesh eating virus?” – Agent Mulder “Ow! He bit me with my own teeth!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “No, this is much more irritating.” – Agent Scully Whether it’s shadowy terrorist networks and shady politicians, a government conspiracy to collude with aliens,…
Quote of the Day
“Now we’re going to run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I’ll ask you a few yes or no questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?” – Agent Scully “Yes.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Leonard Nimoy, what are you doing here?” – Bart Simpson “Wherever there is mystery and the unexplained, cosmic forces shall draw me near.” – Leonard Nimoy “Uh-huh.” – Bart Simpson “Hey, Spock, what do you want on your hot dog?” – Hot Dog Guy “Surprise me.” – Leonard Nimoy