“Ethnic Mismatch Comedy #644 has been cancelled. While we scramble to find new programming, please enjoy this encore presentation of Princess Di’s funeral.” – TV Announcer “Oh, I was really starting to enjoy Ethnic Mismatch Comedy #644. I’ve never heard so many Viagra jokes in thirty seconds.” – Marge Simpson
Tag: They Saved Lisa’s Brain
Quote of the Day
“We are a town of low brows, no brows, and ignorami. We have eight malls but no symphony, thirty-two bars but no alternative theater, thirteen stores that begin with ‘Le Sex’.” – Lisa Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“You’re not gonna ask me to pose nude, are you?” – Homer Simpson “Well, yes. Unless you have some issues with revealing your body.” – Boudoir Photographer “Well, I don’t! But the block association seems to, they wanted a traditional Santa Claus.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“No one was showing up for jury duty, so we synergized it with his comic book collection.” – Lindsey Naegle “You have been chosen to join the Justice Squadron, eight a.m. Monday at the Municipal Fortress of Vengeance . . . Oh, I am so there!” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Dr. Hawking, we had such a beautiful dream. What went wrong?” – Lisa Simpson “Don’t feel bad, Lisa. Sometimes the smartest of us can be the most childish.” – Stephen Hawking “Even you?” – Lisa Simpson “No, not me. Never.” – Stephen Hawking Rest in peace, Stephen Hawking.
Quote of the Day
“Chief Wiggum, ooh, you sure got a lot of copies of the paper.” – Lisa Simpson “Yeah, I need to housebreak our new police dog. Plus, it couldn’t hurt Ralphie to brush up on the fundamentals.” – Chief Wiggum “Daddy says I’m this close to living in the yard!” – Ralph Wiggum
Behind Us Forever: Whistler’s Father
“Look at those silk pillows! It’s like the set of some high class porno film.” – Marge Simpson “No, no, it’s just our basement” – Homer Simpson “Hold on, that’s our basement?” – Marge Simpson “Yes, so? Come on, more kissing.” – Homer Simpson “It looks so elegant! And all it takes are some lace curtains and a beaded lampshade. You’ve got to show me exactly what you did!” – Marge Simpson “But I was gonna score!” – Homer Simpson “No, you weren’t.” – Marge Simpson NOTE: Sorry this is so late. Been one of those weeks. (And I just…
Quote of the Day
“You want me to join Mensa? Oh, that’s wonderful! But don’t I have to take some sort of IQ test?” – Lisa Simpson “No, Lisa, you’re more than qualified. I’ve shared all your standardized test scores with the other members.” – Principal Skinner “Aren’t those supposed to be confidential?” – Lisa Simpson “Welcome to Mensa!” – Principal Skinner
Yahoo Is Looking for a “SuperFan”
“You have robbed us of our dignity!” – Lenny As usual, I am way behind on everything, but a couple of weeks ago I got an e-mail from a producer at Yahoo SuperFan: With the Simpsons 600th episode coming up this fall, we’re looking for a Simpsons fan with the wildest collection of memorabilia. The ideal person would have amazing cosplay costumes, possibly Simpsons tattoos, maybe a child who they named Homer or Marge, and of course, a massive collection of toys and other memorabilia. If you or someone you know fits this bill, drop it in comments.
Quote of the Day
“The winner is: me, for being seen with you freaks.” – Rainier Wolfcastle Happy birthday James L. Brooks!
Quote of the Day
“Booo!” – Crowd “But it’s me: Moe! Wearing a sailor suit! Moe, with a lolly! It’s so out of character! Ain’t that worth nothing?” – Moe “Booo! Next!” – Crowd Happy birthday, Hank Azaria!
Quote of the Day
“We studied traffic patterns and found that drivers move the fastest through yellow lights. So, now, we just have the red and yellow lights.” – Professor Frink “C’mon, stay yellow! Stay yellow! Man, I’m making record time! If only I had someplace to be.” – Lenny Happy birthday Gabor Csupo!
Compare & Contrast: Famously Smart Guest Stars
“I wanted to see your utopia, but now I see it is more of a Fruitopia.” – Stephen Hawking “I’m sure what Dr. Hawking means is-” – Principal Skinner “Silence! I don’t need anyone to talk for me, except this voice box.” – Stephen Hawking Celebrities voicing themselves has long been one of the most widely acknowledged hallmarks of Zombie Simpsons. In truth, of course, the show had been using self voiced celebrities almost since the beginning. What changed was the way those voices were used. In Season 2, Ringo Starr voices himself, but responding to decades old fan mail,…
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Dad, I just spent the day with the most wonderful people.” – Lisa Simpson “Aw, that’s great, honey. You tell me everything you can before the commercial’s over.” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Yeardley Smith!
Quote of the Day
“You said you were going to make me look sexier. But it’s awfully dark in here.” – Homer Simpson “Light is not your friend.” – Boudoir Photographer
Crazy Noises: They Saved Lisa’s Brain
“Do I detect a note of sarcasm?” – Lindsey Naegle “Are you kidding me? This baby is off the charts!” – Professor Frink “Ooh, a sarcasm detector, that’s a real useful invention!” – Comic Book Guy For the third summer in a row, we at the Dead Homer Society are looking to satisfy your off-season longing for substandard commentary on substandard Simpsons. This summer we’ll be looking at Season 10. Why Season 10? Because we’ve already done Seasons 8 and 9 and we can’t put it off any longer. Prior to Season 10, we watched as the show started falling…
Quote of the Day
“Principal Skinner, how’s your transportation project coming?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, excellent. Not only are the trains now running on time, they’re running on metric time. Remember this moment, people, eighty past two on April 47th, it’s the dawn of an enlightened Springfield.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Lindsey Naegle, Advanced Capital Ventures.” – Lindsey Naegle “Oh, what do you produce?” – Lisa Simpson “Synergy, and books on how to cheat at bridge.” – Lindsey Naegle
Quote of the Day
“Lisa Simpson, are you ready to go on a voyage of intellectual self discovery?” – Skinner Voice “I think so.” – Lisa Simpson “Is that a pie or a quiche?” – Skinner Voice “A pie.” – Lisa Simpson “You may enter.” – Hibbert Voice