“What can I do to speed the whole thing up, doctor?” – Homer Simpson “Well, be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.” – Dr. Nick Riviera “You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!” – Bart Simpson “Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?” – Dr. Nick Riviera
Tag: King-Size Homer
Quote of the Day
“I pity those poor suckers on the freeway. Gas-brake-honk. Gas-brake-honk. Honk-honk-punch. Gas-gas-gas.” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Heck, I can’t decide without the pictures.” – SNPP Employee
Quote of the Day
“I’m looking for something loose and billowy, something comfortable for my first day of work.” – Homer Simpson “Work, huh? Lemme guess: computer programmer? Computer magazine columnist? Something with computers?” – Vast Waistband Salesman “Well, I use a computer!” – Homer Simpson “What’s the connection? Must be the non-stop sitting and snacking…” – Vast Waistband Salesman
Quote of the Day
“Sir, if you just quiet down, I’ll be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn.” – Theater Manager “This may surprise you, but you can’t buy me off with food!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“When I grow up, I want to be a lardo on workman’s comp, just like Dad.” – Bart Simpson “I wash myself with a rag on a stick.” – Lardo Bart
Quote of the Day
“You’ll want to focus on the neglected food groups, such as the Whipped Group, the Congealed Group, and the Chocotastic.” – Dr. Nick Riviera Happy 20th Anniversary to “King-Size Homer”! Original airdate 5 November 1995.
Quote of the Day
“Obesity is really unhealthy, any doctor will tell you that!” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, yeah? Well, we’ll just see about that, little miss smart guy.” – Homer Simpson “My God, that’s monstrous! I’ve never heard of anything so negligent. I’ll have no part of it.” – Dr. Hibbert “Can you recommend a doctor who will?” – Homer Simpson “Yes.” – Dr. Hibbert
Quote of the Day
“If you gain sixty-one pounds, they’ll let you work at home?” – Bart Simpson “That’s the deal. No more exercise program, no more traffic, no more blood drives or charity walks!” – Homer Simpson
Compare & Contrast: Proudly Fat Homer
“I’m sick of all your stereotypes and cheap jokes! The overweight individuals in this country are just as smart and talented and hard working as everybody else! And they’re gonna make their voices heard! All they need is a leader!” – Homer Simpson Conventional wisdom has it that everyone is getting fatter these days and that’s a bad thing. Reality, as usual, is considerably more complicated. Moral panics over fat have been a recurring feature of American culture for over a century; the actual effects of obesity are deeply misunderstood at best; and the amount of societal and cultural abuse…
Quote of the Day
“You promised Mom you wouldn’t wear your dress outside.” – Bart Simpson “Nuts to that, I’m going to the movies.” – Homer Simpson “Shouldn’t you be working?” – Lisa Simpson “I got someone to cover for me.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Lucky for you, this stuff doesn’t work.” – Springfield Nutrition Center Guy
Compare & Contrast: Marge Becomes Less Attracted to Homer
“Mr. Burns, can you make me thin again?” – Homer Simpson “I guarantee it. . . . One . . . one! . . . one! . . . Bah, I’ll just pay for the blasted liposuction!” – C.M. Burns “Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson The Simpsons always had an acknowledged and popular soft touch with big emotions. For all the craziness going on in the rest of the episode, they could deftly deliver both believably sweet moments and ones that packed real punch. The same show that has Marge finally snap at Bart’s selfishness and yell that he ruined Thanksgiving…
Quote of the Day
“All my life I’ve been an obese man trapped inside a fat man’s body!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Free sample of fabric softener? Woo-hoo! . . . Mmm, I can feel three kinds of softness.” – Homer Simpson “Dad, what are you doing down there?” – Lisa Simpson “Washing my fat guy hat, honey.” – Homer Simpson
The Simpsons 23rd Anniversary Yellow Jubilee
“Push out the jive. Bring in the love.” – C.M. Burns If there is one persistent misperception about this blog on the wider plains of the internet, it is that we simply hate Zombie Simpsons and that’s it. Beneath that strong and oft expressed dislike, however, is the real reason we’re all here: love. We love The Simpsons. It was a show beyond even the most enthusiastic superlatives, and it remains so more than two decades after it took America and the world by storm. Its creation was a once in a lifetime alignment of immensely improbable coincidences that came…
Quote of the Day
“Arnie Pie in the Sky with the morning commute. Traffic this morning is as bad as it gets. Due to a fire at the Army testing lab, a bunch of escaped, infected monkeys are roaming the expressway. Despite the sweltering heat, don’t unroll your windows cause those monkeys seem confused and irritable.” – Arnie Pie
The Glories and Vagaries of Blogging
“Where’s the ‘Any’ key? I see ‘Esk’, ‘K-tarl’, and ‘Pig up’. There doesn’t seem to be any ‘Any’ key!” – Homer Simpson From time to time the tags on WordPress don’t update properly. I have no idea why this is, but it does happen. This week it happened on the “Simpsons” tag: That’s what it looks like this morning, Saturday, July 7th. (And please note that this is in a browser in which I am not logged in with my WordPress account.) Some of those links I used for last week’s Reading Digest, but with the exception of yesterday’s Reading…
Quote of the Day
“Carpal Tunnel Syndrome? No. Lumber Lung? No. Juggler’s Despair? No. Achy-Breaky Pelvis? No. Oh, I’m never going to be disabled. I’m sick of being so healthy!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“And remember, if you’re not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it’s your window to weight gain.” – Dr. Nick