“I’ve got to get out of here . . . calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean.” – Ms. Hoover WordPress suffered a rather large DDoS attack this week which I hadn’t even noticed until I went through the WordPress tags for “The Simpsons” and “Simpsons” looking for interesting links. The number of posts with those two tags was about a fifth of what it usually is, and there are gaps of whole days, so I’m betting that got screwed up. As a result, there’s a much shorter than usual Reading Digest this week. But…
Tag: Separate Vocations
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“Well, that was a waste of time.” – Janey “Janey, school is never a waste of time.” – Lisa Simpson “Since we have fifteen minutes until recess, please put down your pencils and stare at the front of the room.” – Ms. Hoover Doctoral theses could be written about this episode, but let me just add this. The following things are mocked in this brief, twenty-two minutes of television: Elementary education Standardized testing Post grad education Law enforcement The army Hope Sexual bondage Cop shows Action movies Oedipal complexes The space program The Wild One (1953) Handwriting analysis Hippies Law…
Compare & Contrast: Marge & Lisa At Breakfast
“Lisa, there are a lot of people in world who like to tell you what you can’t do. But they don’t always know what they’re talking about.” – Marge Simpson In both “Lisa Simpson, This Isn’t Your Life” and “Separate Vocations”, Lisa becomes afraid that, despite all her ambition, talent and drive, she’s going to end up like her mother. The two setups are as close to identical as can be expected given that they were broadcast nineteen seasons apart. But they take radically different directions once Marge learns of Lisa’s fears. In The Simpsons, Marge reacts like a loving…
Marge Acts Like a Child, Until She Doesn’t, Then It Ends
“A homemaker? I might as well be dead.” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, it’s not that bad.” – Marge Simpson For all those who have ever wondered what would happen if Zombie Simpsons took “Lisa’s Sax”, “Separate Vocations”, and “Lisa’s Pony” and added in a hash of “Bart the General” as a B-plot, wonder no more. It lasts about twenty-two minutes, moving glacially from one overwrought plot point to another, pausing occasionally for a bizarre aside that the writers think is clever. In that last category, we have the interminable gas station scene at the beginning, Willie’s bizarre floor-waxer conniption fit,…
Photoshopping a Photoshopped Photoshop Job
“Madre de dios, the legends were true!” – Bart Simpson “Yes, Bart, whenever a teacher confiscates something, it ends up here: salacious halter tops, complete collections of Mad, Cracked and the occasional issue of Crazy.” – Principal Skinner [Quote edited to correct my latest idiocy. See comments for details.] Cracked recently ran a photoshop contest. Since I’m trying to do the least amount of work possible for this post, I’ll let them explain (via Cinematical): Movie titles don’t tell you much. If all you had to go on was the name, you might think Indiana Jones and the Raiders of…
Reading Digest: Yeardley Smith Update Edition
“Well, I’m gonna be a famous jazz musician! I’ve got it all figured out. I’ll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French. I’ll avoid the horrors of drug abuse, but I do plan to have several torrid love affairs. And I may or may not die young, I haven’t decided.” – Lisa Simpson Yeardley Smith, whom the AP Style guide apparently requires be referred to as “the voice of Lisa Simpson” in all articles, popped up twice this week. She’s still doing the microfinance thing, and will be speaking at a convention…
Quote of the Day
“Bart Simpson on the side of law and order? Has the world gone topsy-turvy?” – Principal Skinner “That’s right, man. I got my first taste of authority . . . and I liked it!” – Bart Simpson Happy Birthday George Meyer!
Synergy Agrees With Me About One Thing
Image taken from Wikimedia commons. “It’s true, and we’ll all live in cities on the moon!” – Marge Simpson IGN was in mid-season form this week, slobbering all over lame jokes and unabashedly praising the repetitive nature of the plot. But let’s set aside the fussin’ and the feudin’ and talk about something we can agree upon. The opening of the Zombie Simpsons episode was a reference to old Tex Avery cartoons and IGN thinks that if you’re a young whippersnapper you ought to look them up on your fancy YouTube machine. But IGN doesn’t provide a link, I’ll provide…
Reading Digest: Chalkboard Compilation Edition
There are two links to the collected wisdom of Bart’s chalkboard writings this week; I like one, the other less so. Also, for some odd reason there’s lots of correctly quoted but bizarre usage this week, including from a chiropractor and a global warming denier. We’ve also got YouTube clips, some excellent usage and some always apt swipes at the Grammy Awards. Enjoy. Marge Simpson Sexy Calendar Pin-up Pics, "The Devil Wears Nada" – I suppose this was inevitable. Someone has created a little slideshow of all the “sexy” drawings of Marge from that horrible France episode. Dr. Hibbert (from…
Crazy noises: Pranks and Greens
“You know before I saw these test results I had you pegged as a drifter.” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor “Wow, a drifter . . .” – Bart Simpson “Lousy sheriff, run me out of town, he’s lost my vote.” – Drifter Bart “Cool.” – Bart Simpson In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and…
Quote of the Day
“Some of you may discover a wonderful vocation you never even imagined. Others may find out life isn’t fair. In spite of your masters from Bryn Mawr you might end up a glorified babysitter to a bunch of dead eyed fourth graders while your husband runs naked on a beach with your marriage counselor!” – Mrs. Krabappel Happy Birthday Marcia Wallace!
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, what nineteenth century figure was nicknamed ‘Old Hickory?’” – Ms. Hoover “I don’t know. You?” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, if you’d bothered to do the assignment, you’d know the answer is… ‘The Battle of New Orleans.’ I mean, ‘Andrew Jackson.’” – Ms. Hoover “Well, you’re earning your eighteen grand a year.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Question sixty. I prefer the smell of a) gasoline, b) French fries, or c) bank customers.” – Ms. Hoover