“That’s Cookie Kwan. She’s number one on the west side.” – Lionel Hutz “Hi, Marge! . . . Stay off the west side!” – Cookie Kwan
Month: May 2017
Quote of the Day
“There’s your giraffe, little girl.” – Homer Simpson “I’m a boy!” – Ralph Wiggum “That’s the spirit! Never give up.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Jazz, pfft! They just make it up as they go along. I can do that. Di-di-di-di-di-di-di, de de de…” – “That’s Mary had a little lamb.” – Marge Simpson “Okay, then this: Do-do-do-do-do-do-do, do do do…” – Homer Simpson “That’s the same thing, you just replaced ‘Di’s with ‘Do’s.” – Marge Simpson “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Danny Elfman!
Quote of the Day
“Up and atom.” – Acting Coach “Up and at them.” – Rainier Wolfcastle “Up and atom!” – Acting Coach “Up and at them!” – Rainier Wolfcastle “Up and ATOM!” – Acting Coach “Up and AT THEM!” – Rainier Wolfcastle “Better.” – Acting Coach
Quote of the Day
“Dad, may I please make an observation?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, what is it?” – Homer Simpson “I think this is all a charade to make Bart look more injured than he really is.” – Lisa Simpson “Maybe Lisa does have a point. I don’t mind you boys doing this in the living room, but in court doesn’t Bart have to tell the truth?” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, but what is truth? If you follow me.” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“We have our own suggestions for the new nanny. Would you like to hear them?” – Lisa Simpson “You have my undivided attention.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Guess who likes you?” – Nelson Muntz “Milhouse, I’m so sorry.” – Lisa Simpson “He can’t hear you now. We had to pack his ears with gauze.” – EMT
Quote of the Day
“I saved your life! That egg sandwich could’ve killed you by cholesterol.” – Homer Simpson “Forget it, Homer. While it has been established that eggs contain cholesterol, it has not yet been proven conclusively that they actually raise the level of serum cholesterol in the human blood stream.” – Lenny “So one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too, huh?” – Homer Simpson “Oh, you got it all wrong, Homer. It’s not like that.” – Lenny “You’d better run, egg!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Preliminary reports indicated the ship’s captain was drunk at the helm. . . . Those reports were later confirmed.” – Kent Brockman “Argh, I’m in a lot of trouble now. Hey! I’ll give you a hundred bucks to take the blame.” – Captain McAllister
Behind Us Forever: Dogtown
“The dog has had enough excitement.” – Marge Simpson “But Marge, dogs can never have enough excitement!” – Homer Simpson Two years ago, as part of their “use our reputation to farm out work we’d rather not do” policy, Zombie Simpsons let the Rick & Morty people do a couch gag. It was okay, and I’ve long said that the guest couch gags are one of the few parts of the show that’s still kinda creative. Well, this week Zombie Simpsons did an extremely poor take off on the Rick & Morty episode “Lawnmower Dog”. Emphasis on “extremely”. In “Dogtown”, Springfield passes a bunch of…
Quote of the Day
“Superintendent, we made the front page today!” – Principal Skinner “What’s that say under your hand there?” – Superintendent Chalmers “Oh, it’s an unrelated article.” – Principal Skinner “It’s an unrelated article?” – Superintendent Chalmers “Um-hmm.” – Principal Skinner “Within the banner headline?” – Superintendent Chalmers “Yes.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Where did the money go? Marge lost much of the family fortune investing in birth control products.” – Behind the Laughter Announcer “I learned something. When people reach for their diaphragm, they don’t want to see my picture.” – Marge Simpson Note: Sorry for the late quote of the day. Should have a Behind Us Forever for whatever dreck their using as a season finale tomorrow.
Quote of the Day
“Dear Lord, if you keep Homer from embarrassing us today, we promise to build several churches in your honor.” – Bart Simpson “Bart, no!” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“My problem is I’m a real user of women. I move in right away and stay until the money’s gone.” – Lionel Hutz “Well, I’m a smart woman but I make bad choices. . . . Okay, here’s a set of house keys and my ATM card.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Quote of the Day
“Truth is beauty! Beauty truth, sir!” – Rommelwood Cadet “They’re discussing poetry! Oh, we never do that at my school.” – Lisa Simpson “But the truth can be harsh and disturbing! How can that be considered beautiful?” – Rommelwood Teacher “He sure sucked the fun out of that poem.” – Marge Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “The Secret War of Lisa Simpson!” Original airdate 18May 1997.
Quote of the Day
“Gil, thank God it’s you! You gotta help us!” – Homer Simpson “Well, that’s what I’m here for. I mean, you’re young, successful, you’re naked. You want a car with a radio, right? You kids like music, right?” – Gil
Quote of the Day
“C’mon, Homer, Japan will be fun. You liked Rashomon.” – Marge Simpson “That’s not how I remember it.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“That’s it, Bart! Why can’t you be more like, uh . . .” – Mrs. Krabappel “Us, Mrs. Krabappel?” – Sherri & Terri “Yes, Sherri and Terri. They know how to behave.” – Mrs. Krabappel Happy belated birthday, Russi Taylor!
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Milhouse, how’s the lemonade business?” – Bart Simpson “It’s clearly booming, Bart.” – Milhouse van Houten “I don’t even want any. I just bought a pity glass.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“C’mon, you stupid horse! I got my last ten bucks on you! . . . No, don’t look at me! . . . Run! . . . No, don’t come over here. . . . Ugh.” – Krusty the Klown