“Mom, you fuss over us way too much.” – Lisa Simpson “Enjoy it now! Because when you’re a grown-up you’ll have to take care of yourself.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, there’s a spider near my car keys.” – Homer Simpson “You did the right thing by telling me. . . . Shoo! Get out of here!” – Marge Simpson
Tag: Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Hey, kids! Nachos, Flanders style! That’s cucumbers with cottage cheese!” – Ned Flanders
Quote of the Day
“C’mon, you Gloomy Guses, who’s up for a big bowl of non-fat ice milk?” – Ned Flanders “I want wintergreen!” – Todd Flanders “Unflavored for me.” – Maude Flanders
Quote of the Day
“The county is threatening to take my Seymour away! Oh, we had another fight over the inflatable bath pillow. I kept screeching and screeching at him…” – Agnes Skinner Happy Birthday Tress MacNeille!
Quote of the Day
“The only thing I’m ‘high’ on is love, love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little LSD is all I need.” – Marge Simpson “Alright, sounds very good.” – Child Protective Services Guy
Ad Hoc Beer Marathon
“Hey, Homer, you busy?” – Lenny “Yes.” – Homer Simpson I used to do these with more preparation, but it’s Saturday, I’m sick and tired of being responsible, and my fridge has a lot of beer in it. May the Lord bless and keep the VLC random play function… The Last Temptation of Homer – Bart’s parking line prank is one of his best. Especially since the punchline is the psychological frailty of the faculty. – Look how bored Burns is when Charlie describes the fake emergency exit. He’s not even mad yet, and he’s always kinda mad. – That plane crashed on his property! – “Your appearance is comical to me.” – “Hey, Joey Joe Joe!” Great throwaway joke. – There’s such wonderful layers to Homer’s “Foul temptress! I’ll bet she thinks Ziggy’s gotten too preachy too!” It’s eleven words, moves the plot, and there’s like three jokes. – God I miss Phil Hartman. He has one line in this whole episode, and it’s perfect. – Fucking Season 5, I could write a whole post about almost every scene. – Stewart callback! – There’s no way to do the porter’s many sex sounds in text. You can’t even really quote it well. But it’s awesome. – “Hey, kids, did anyone pray for giant shoes?” – Simpsons Did It – I love the immediate and unbridled hostility of the energy convention MC’s “No” when Homer asks if he can get out of dinner with Mindy. – The ending of this episode is a great example of how the show handled real conflict and emotion with speed and humor. We get right up to Homer thinking he might cheat on Marge with Minday (who’s in the room), which cuts immediately to the reveal that it’s actually Marge in his room, which cuts immediately to her noticing that there’s a turkey behind the bed. On Zombie Simpsons that would take a minute and a half and Homer would explain how he’d been thinking about cheating on her. Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily – Love the 1960s Batman sound when Marge wraps the sandwiches. #RIPAdamWest – Count Homer’s test drive would be so much worse on Zombie Simpsons. They’d probably make it a montage instead of just using “gently massages your buttocks” as a punchline. – “See you in hell, you wingless bloodsuckers!” (Also more great sound effects with the lice squeaking pathetically as they’re incinerated.) – – Stupid baby – Now that’s a quick sign gag. – The “turn tape over” gag is a piece of history now. – “I don’t judge Homer and Marge. That’s for a vengeful God to do.” Maude Flanders was really an awful human being and it made her a great foil for Ned. – This isn’t the goriest Itchy & Scratchy, but it is one of the most straight up horrifying. “Why? Why? My only son.” – Homer in front of the judge is hilarious. He actually does love his kids, but way, way less than he’s annoyed by them.…
Quote of the Day
“Making a happy home isn’t like flipping on a light switch.” – County Social Worker “A light switch?” – Cletus “There are a lot of little tricks to it, things you should’ve learned a long time ago. Such as: if you leave milk out, it can go sour. Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a cool, wet sack.” – County Social Worker
Quote of the Day
“Can you see them?” – Marge Simpson “I can see Lisa, but it might be a starfish.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Get ready, gamblers, for the World Series of Dog Racing!” – TV Announcer
Quote of the Day
“Remember how Mom used to microwave our underwear on cold days?” – Bart Simpson “Or the way Dad used to call the radio station with fake traffic tips?” – Lisa Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily”! Original airdate 1 October 1995.
Quote of the Day
“We love you!” – Rod & Todd Flanders “Uh, please don’t hug me. It sickens me.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You don’t understand, Mom and Dad take good care of us. . . . That was a baby tooth. . . . It was loose!” – Lisa Simpson “Don’t you worry, little girl, we’ll get you some nice, county dentures.” – Child Protective Services Agent
Quote of the Day
“And then I saw my boy in a burlap sack, and they told me he had lice.” – Marge Simpson “Is this story going somewhere?” – Burlap Sack Guy
Quote of the Day
“I never heard Maggie laugh like that before.” – Bart Simpson “Well, when was the last time Dad gave her that kind of attention?” – Lisa Simpson “When she swallowed that quarter, he spent all day with her.” – Bart Simpson
Compare & Contrast: Parental Substitutes
“Who wants to be the first to enter God’s good graces?” – Ned Flanders Zombie Simpsons has a well established track record for wild plot twists, nonsensical stories, and characters behaving so strangely that one wonders whether or not they’re still supposed to be human. “The Changing of the Guardian” valiantly upheld that reputation, particularly in the way it took its main conflict, scrambled it beyond even a semblance of coherence, and then awkwardly jammed it into just the last two minutes of the episode. Consider, for a second, the enormous inhumanity this episode expects you, the audience member, to swallow. Set aside the oddity of Mav, the millionaire surfer, and his wife Portia, the ultra-liberal lawyer, deciding to basically steal the Simpson children for no reason. Or Homer and (especially) Marge trusting their kids to these people they barely know. Set aside even the brain dead way they all met. Just think about the ending from Bart, Lisa and Maggie’s perspective. The kids go off with their new guardians for what the episode explicitly describes as “a weekend”. At some point during that “weekend”, Marge and Homer see a picture of the kids with Mav and Portia under the heading “Our Family” in the window of a portrait studio. After a meandering car ride, Homer and Marge finally get to Mav and Portia’s ski chalet, where (after he of course crashes the car) Homer gets out and starts yelling at Mav with Bart standing right there: Oh. Look. Homer’s angry. Notice that Bart doesn’t say anything. Cut to the next scene where Homer, Marge, Mav and Portia have a discussion about Mav and Portia taking the kids. This is the finale of the episode, and it is as confused and sloppy as anything Zombie Simpsons has ever broadcast. Here we go: Mav: Honestly, we fell in love with ’em. And it just seemed like you guys didn’t really want ’em. Homer: Sure, you wanted the fun parts. But do you want to go their little league games and recitals. Mav: Totally have. Portia: Like clockwork. Homer: Well, I’m glad someone has. Wait a second, weren’t the kids just there for a weekend? And do they have baseball games and music recitals up there in the mountains? Marge: Look, before anyone says anything else, how could you possibly think you could get our kids? Portia: It happens more than you know, Marge. I’m a lawyer, he’s a surfer, that combination’s pretty unstoppable. This is just amazingly hacktacular. Marge asks a sensible question, to which Portia gives a nonsense response. This is Zombie Simpsons directly telling us that they do not give a shit. But it’s about to get worse, because we’re finally about to hear from the kids: Bart: Well I’m afraid that we don’t want to be with anyone but Mom and whoever she chooses to be with. Lisa: Portia, you’re the woman I dream of becoming, but Mom is my mom. Where the hell have these two been? …
Quote of the Day
“Where are we going? Where are we going?” – Marge Simpson “Okay, okay, don’t panic. To find Flanders, I just have to think like Flanders.” – Homer Simpson “I’m a big four-eyed lame-o and I wear the same stupid sweater every day and-” – Homer’s Brain “The Springfield River!” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Specious Speculation (Swartzwelder) Edition
This is a much shorter than usual Reading Digest, entirely due to the fact that just about anytime someone punched “Simpsons” into a keyboard this week it was right next to the word “Oregon”, and all of them were equally worthless. It’s the internet, so I guess you’ve got to take the bad with the good, but that an awful lot of concentrated stupid. There is still some good, though, including cool fan made stuff (mmm, cupcakes), a fantastically meta YouTube video, and Superintendent Chalmers on the DC Metro. There’s also two links about John Swartzwelder, one of which debunked a cool but untrue idea about him and Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation, and another that’s just a general fan letter. Enjoy. [Updated at 1:13pm because I got my drafts confused and left out Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week in the one I originally published.] Kirk’s Movie Blog: Listorama! My Top 10 Simpsons Episodes (Part One) – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is a two parter that came in via e-mail. It’s a great list, partly because it’s got no Zombie Simpsons, partly because each entry contains an explanation as well as quotes and a picture, and partly because of this: Some Simpsons fans have queried whether the second season belongs to the ‘Classic Era’ of the Simpsons, but for me, there can be no question about it. Indeed. Kirk’s Movie Blog: Listorama! My Top 10 Simpsons Episodes (Part Two) – Just as good. Too bad they don’t make a Radiation Queen – This is pure YouTube brilliance: I don’t miss the crappy picture or the tinny sound, but those old televisions definitely had more personality than the generic black rectangle that most of them are today. Is Ron Swanson Based On John Swartzwelder, Legendary ‘Simpsons’ Writer? – Bill Oakley tweeted this yesterday, and there are at least some superficial similarities. Unfortunately, Oakley also quashed it a few hours later: Oh, well. It was fun while it lasted. Cupcake the Simpson Family – SELLY – This is not in English, and I have no idea what it says. But these are some of the coolest Simpsons cupcakes I’ve ever seen. mattachinereview: [Sideshow Bob, from The… – You’re going to need to be aware of relatively uncommon gender pronouns to get this joke, but I chuckled. Laura E. Enriquez: How DREAMers Made Me Reconceptualize My Citizenship – Excellent usage: To encourage participation we say that every voice counts but we also tend to re-frame the event — Get Out the Vote rallies become concerts, social justice rallies have bands, feature celebrity speakers, or offer food. On The Simpsons, they tried to make jury duty more interesting by framing it as joining the "justice squadron" at the "Municipal Fortress of Vengeance." So maybe citizenship itself is in need of some re-framing so we can increase civic participation and get citizens like myself to appreciate the privileges we are afforded. I’ve been called for jury duty three times and had…
Quote of the Day
“I thought I could ride this thing out, but everything’s just too weird here.” – Lisa Simpson “I know, they put honey on pancakes instead of maple syrup.” – Bart Simpson “And they read Newsweek instead of nothing!” – Lisa Simpson
Bonus Quote of the Day
“I don’t judge Homer and Marge, that’s for a vengeful God to do.” – Maude Flanders Happy birthday Maggie Roswell!
Quote of the Day
“The number you have dialed can no longer be reached from this phone, you – negligent – monster.” – Telephone Voice