Tag: Brush with Greatness

“No, the slide is perfectly safe! This was an isolated incident!” – Krusty the Klown“I understand that, Krusty….Krusty! Isn’t that exactly what you said right before the recall of tainted Krusty brand mayonnaise?” – Kent Brockman“Now Kent, you know that question is out of bounds! This interview is over!” – Krusty the Klown

“No! The slide is perfectly safe! This was an isolated incident!” – Krusty the Klown “I understand that, Krusty. But, Krusty! Isn’t that exactly what you said right before the recall of tainted Krusty brand mayonnaise?” – Kent Brockman “Now, Kent, you know that question is out of bounds! This interview is over!” – Krusty the Klown

“Smithers, find me an artist!” – C.M. Burns “Sir, I’m afraid you’ve systematically alienated Springfield’s entire art community. The only one left is this Mrs. Homer Simpson.” – Mr. Smithers “Who?” – C.M. Burns “She won first prize in the Springfield art fair, and as the wife of an employee she’ll be easily intimidated.” – Mr. Smithers “Excellent. Once again the wheel has turned, and dame fortune has hugged Montgomery Burns to her sweet, perfumed bosom. Somebody up there likes me, Smithers.” – C.M. Burns “Somebody down here likes you too, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Shut up.” – C.M. Burns

“Booo!” – Crowd “Eyewitnesses estimate the man’s weight at somewhere between four and five hundred pounds.” – Scott Christian

“Oh, why did I have to start my diet on pork chop night?” – Homer Simpson “Now, Homer, we’ve got steamed vegetables and rice cakes for you.” – Marge Simpson “Wait a minute, hey, I’ve been setting my drinks on these things.” – Homer Simpson

“I am going on a diet.  From this day forward, I pledge there will be no pork chop too succulent, no donut too tasty, no pizza too laden with delicious toppings to prevent me from reaching my scientifically determined ideal weight!  As God as my witness, I’ll always be hungry again!” – Homer Simpson

“Looks like there’s a jam in delta sector.” – Water Slide Technician #1 “Well, it’s too big to be human.  Send down a few kids, that should dislodge it.” – Water Slide Technician #2

“Hey, what gives?  These donuts are piling up.” – Donut Guy “Homer Simpson went on a diet.” – Carl “Oh my God, and I just bought a boat!” – Donut Guy

“Hey mom, these paintings are good.  While I know first hand how fragile young talent is, I’d love to hear the particulars of how your gift was squashed.” – Lisa Simpson [Note: I originally set this for 8pm instead of 8am.  Whoops.]