“Bart, you didn’t finish your Spaghetti and Moe Balls.” – Homer Simpson “Silence you fool, it can be ours!” – Homer’s Brain “Run boy! Run! Run for your life! Boy!” – Homer Simpson
Month: July 2009
Quote of the Day
“Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we have transcended incorrigible. I don’t think suspension or expulsion will do the trick; I think it behooves us all to consider . . . deportation.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Quimby, after this fare get your indicted ass out to the convention center.” – Otto “I cut the ribbon at that convention center.” – Mohammed Jafar
Friday Link Dump – Block Quote Edition
This week’s link dump is really just a grab bag, but when I was looking it over I noticed that I’ve got lots of extended block quotes. Though we also get some excellent usage and not a single old person complaining about anything. Shitty Bands Whose Names Have Awesome Pop Culture References – Pretty much exactly what it says. There are three Simpsons bands. 5 Best Simpsons Halloween Segments – It’s five segments from various Treehouse of Horror episodes that were based on actual horror movies. There’s two from Zombie Simpsons although one of them, the dolphin segment from Season…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, let’s go to the girls college!” – Lenny ‘No, the Playboy Mansion! Playboy Mansion!” – Carl “Shutup! It’s my car, and I say we’re going to the lost City of Gold.” – Homer Simpson “Oh that’s just drunk talk! Sweet, beautiful, drunk talk.” – Barney Gumble
Won’t Someone Please Think of the Ecuadorian Children?!
Image used under CreativeCommons license from Flicker user bunchofpants. Watchout Ecuador! The Simpsons, a show that has been on the air for two decades, may be corrupting your youth: Teleamazonas said it would no longer be allowed to broadcast the often satirical exploits of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie, between 6:00 am and 9:00 pm, pending a government investigation. A government-backed regulator will assess the program’s impact on “boys, girls and teenagers,” and wants to restrict its broadcast “to assure the protection” of younger audiences. Teleamazonas said it would no longer be allowed to broadcast the often satirical exploits…
Quote of the Day
“What do they do with these things after we seal ‘em?” – Lenny “I hear they dump ‘em in an abandoned chalk mine and cover ‘em with cement.” – Carl “I hear they’re sending ‘em to one of those Southern states where the governor’s a crook.” – Lenny “Either way, I’m sleepin’ good tonight.” – Carl
In the Beginning . . .
. . . television was without form and void. Then this happened: And it was followed a month later by this: And the audiences beheld what was made and saw that it was good. (Hat tip to Village of Joy)
Quote of the Day
“Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer and I am the . . . uh, what cures cancer?” – Chief Wiggum
It’s a Baby Translator (Seriously)
Via Dintz and ThinkGeek comes the real world baby translator. This one doesn’t speak in the voice of Danny DeVito, it just shows you whether the infant is Hungry, Bored, Annoyed, Sleepy, or Stressed. (That’s the symbol for “Annoyed” on the display image.) The read out on the front, for lack of anything better to do, also displays the current temperature and humidity. Maybe this thing could be tremendously useful to on-the-go 21st century parents, but I’m skeptical. What is the difference – for an infant – between “Annoyed” and “Stressed”? What qualifies as “Bored” for a person with extremely…
Quote of the Day
“I was once idealistic like you. It was the mid-70s and I was fresh out of seminary; the 60s were long over and people were once again ready to feel bad about themselves.” – Rev. Lovejoy
Crappy Merchandise: Cufflinks
Do you often think to yourself, “What I really need is a good pair of humorous cufflinks”? Is there someone you love who may be a great person but whose life is clearly lacking in this critical way? Fear not, for the Cufflinks Depot is here! For just $45 American you can purchase one of these fine novelty items, sure to produce that always entertaining mixture of fake gratitude and suppressed disappointment on the face of the recipient. (And make no mistake, these are gag gift only items, the websites that peddle them all but beg you to use them…
Quote of the Day
Image used under CreativeCommons license from Flicker user kevindooley. “And now, get set for our fabulous halftime show, featuring the well groomed young go getters of Hooray for Everything.” – Radio Announcer “Oh I love those kids, they’ve got such a great attitude.” – Homer Simpson “Ladies and gentlemen, Hooray for Everything invites you to join them in a salute to the greatest hemisphere on Earth . . . the Western Hemisphere! The dancin-est hemisphere of all!” – Radio Announcer
Quote of the Day
“They have the internet on computers now.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hi, um, let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields, and-some-illegal-fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas . . . nah, make it two.” – Homer Simpson
Friday Link Dump – Blog Week Edition
“You got the dud!” – Marge Simpson “Ah ha! Hey, he looks just like you poindexter!” – Homer Simpson Lots more blog links than news links this week, not really sure why. But there’s some good usage and another blogger who thinks Zombie Simpsons is shitty. The Trampoline Conundrum – Roger Catlin of the Hartford Courant got a trampoline for his kid. Like a well seasoned professional writer he then wrings a short article out of it by talking about the time Homer got a trampoline. Also, there’s a YouTubed Hulu video. Number Six and Gaius Baltar – io9 had…
Quote of the Day
“Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off, piece by piece.” – Lisa Simpson Image used under CreativeCommons license from Flicker user Amanda M Hatfield. Happy Birthday Yeardley Smith!
Quote of the Day
“Oh, and one more thing. You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon.” – C.M Burns “Actually sir, we found the Jade Monkey. It was in your glove compartment.” – Mr. Smithers “And the road maps and ice scraper?” – C.M. Burns “They were in there too, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Excellent, it’s all falling into place.” – C.M. Burns
Wednesday Evening Cartoons
“Mother Simpson” is an excellent episode for any number of reasons, primarily because it is terribly funny. But considering it in the context of the writhing horror show that is Zombie Simpsons there are two salient points: The first is that it has an ending (pictured above). Despite its many plot twists* there’s a reason Wiggum calls the Simpsons to warn them. It doesn’t just happen apropos of nothing as so many Zombie Simpsons endings do. Second, it doesn’t draw out its suspenseful/emotional moments. When Bart and Lisa figure out that Grandma’s story is fishy there’s no montage of them…
Simpsons Fandom: Ur Doin It Wrong
“So, what do you think of the Lady Krusty Moustache Removal System now, Angelique?” – Johnny Unitas “It’s Krusteriffic, Johnny Unitas. But is my upper lip supposed to bleed like this?” – Angelique “Probably.” – Johnny Unitas A guy in the UK has what may be the largest collection of crappy Simpsons merchandise on the planet. According to thisisbristol.co.uk: A Bristol man believes he has the biggest collection of Simpsons memorabilia in the world. Glynne Williams has more than 30,000 items linked to the popular cartoon TV series, but they are currently all in his loft in Patchway. The 42-year-old…