The basic position of this blog is that Zombie Simpsons is just like regular television whereas The Simpsons was in a league of its own. One is not like the other. Current TV recently added segment to its InfoMania show called “That’s Gay” on which the host, Bryan Safi, takes a critical, and often very funny, look at how homosexuality is used and abused in modern culture. Last Wednesday he was making fun of the the way teevee shows routinely use chicks kissing as a throw away plot point that often mysteriously coincides with sweeps: The Simpsons relevant part starts at…
Month: August 2009
Quote of the Day
“What the hell is that?” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson “Why it’s a Death Ray, my good man. Behold.” – Prof. Frink “Hey, feels warm, kinda nice.” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson “Well, it is just a prototype. With proper funding I’m confident this little baby could destroy an area the size of New York City!” – Prof. Frink “But I want to help people, not kill ‘em!” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson “Oh. Well, to be honest, the ray only has evil applications. You know my wife will be happy, she’s hated this whole Death Ray thing from day one.” – Prof.…
“Skinner’s Sense of Snow” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“Oh sure, there were a lot of laughs. You probably couldn’t hear them, the acoustics were so bad.” – Bart Simpson I’ve always hated this episode for the simple reason that Springfield Elementary used to be a fountain of unlimited comedy and now they’ve turned it into a horror show. “Skinner’s Sense of Snow” had a decent premise, kids trapped in snow bound school, and then proceeded to run it into the ground with weird plot twists, characterless jokes and a plot stretched so thin to fill the allotted time that it obliterates whatever plausibility the premise originally had. There…
Quote of the Day
“Two bucks, and it only transports matter?” – Homer Simpson
I Found Something Good on the Season 12 DVDs!
There’s a nine minute featurette that’s nothing but Comic Book Guy moments and it works well because it’s only from older seasons. (It’s on Disc 2.) It starts with “Three Men and a Comic Book” and goes from there. There are only clips from two Season 12 episodes and then it ends with him admitting he wasted his life as he dies in “Treehouse of Horror VIII”. There is nothing from Seasons 13+. That’s most likely due to legal reasons, none of the later seasons are legally available on home video yet, but it still makes for an entertaining few minutes…
Quote of the Day
“Hello, is this President Clinton? Good. I figured if anyone knew where to get some tang, it’d be you. Shutup!” – Homer Simpson
Simpsons Alumni Update (kinda): John Swartzwelder
“According to this book the first thing we need is a setting.” – Lisa Simpson The Tumblr blog “Who Asked For This?” is having a John Swartzwelder Month. Mostly it’s excerpts from some of his novels, which are quite absurd and funny.
Friday Link Dump
I can’t hide it, digging into Season 12 has sapped my will to live. Here’s your much abbreviated Friday Link Dump. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to stick my head into a bucket of battery acid and yearn for death. Are Freshmen Necessary? – This is oblique Simpsons usage made cromulent by the link: If there’s previewing being done, it goes without saying that the previewers are wondering aloud which ACC freshmen will make the biggest splash: Derrick Favors, John Henson, Ryan Kelly, Michael Snaer, or, as Homer Simpson might say, someone else? The link is to “Homer the Vigilante”.…
“Simpson Safari” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“I’m gonna crawl into bed with a bottle of Amaretto. Good day.” – Llewellyn Sinclair Oh the rancid joys of Zombie Simpsons on DVD. There are so many episodes in this season I genuinely hate that it was hard to know where to start, so I began with my own personal Season 12 nemesis, “Simpson Safari”. To call this episode bad is an understatement; to call it a mess doesn’t even begin to describe it. It is a random collection of boring set pieces that instantly plummets to the deepest possible nadir of boredom. It is Zombie Simpsons. Holding my…
Quote of the Day
“But Reverend I need to know, is God punishing me?” – Ned Flanders “Ohhh, short answer “Yes” with an “if”, long answer “No” with a “but”.” – Reverend Lovejoy
Even The Airlines Know The Difference
“That’s just the engine powering up… that’s just the engine struggling… that’s just a carp swimming around your ankles…” – Homer Simpson Recently I took a trip to Europe. I have never flown over the Atlantic before, but on this flight everyone had their own little TV screen built into the headrest of the seat in front of them. I found this to be quite nice; an 8 hour flight in coach sucks, but it is much easier when you have a decent handful of free movies and tv shows with which to entertain yourself. One of the TV…
And It’s Not Even Close
Apparently Jerry Seinfeld is coming to Ottawa. This prompted a columnist in The Ottawa Citizen to praise Seinfeld and his show for being second only to Shakespeare in terms of adding “catchphrases” to the language. That’s all well and good, but this paragraph cannot go unremarked upon: Most catchphrases are pure confection and essentially hollow: think of the greatest hits of Seinfeld’s closest competitor in numbers, The Simpsons: “D’oh!” or “don’t have a cow” or “eat my shorts” are memorable, but they don’t really say anything that we didn’t already know how to say ourselves, though perhaps not so memorably.…
Quote of the Day
“First, let me assure you that this is not one of those shady pyramid schemes you’ve been hearing about. No, sir! Our model is the trapezoid, that guarantees each investor an 800% return within hours of your initial . . . uh oh, the cops!” – “Million$ for Nothing” Guy
Spurlock Update: Simpson Tattoos
The Buffalo News talked with Al Jean and gave us a little bit more information on Spurlock’s thing: Spurlock interviewed a guy from Seattle who really grew a tomato-tobacco combination inspired by Homer’s creation of the “tomacco.” He also found the person with the most Simpson tattoos. I’ve never understood people’s obsession with “tomacco” as one of the great cultural brain droppings of the show. Then again, I’m not overly fond of that episode and I hate tomatoes. As for the Simpson tattoo person, no word on whether or not it’s this guy: (By the way, College Humor apparently has…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Mister Burns! Can I go with you to get the treasure? I won’t eat much and I don’t know the difference between right and wrong.” – Bart Simpson “Oh, you’re a good boy, but the child labor people have been watching me like a hawk.” – C.M. Burns
The Death of Fun
“This is horrible.” – Bart Simpson “The FOX Network has sunk to a new low.” – Lisa Simpson Season 12 came out on DVD today and we’ll be getting into it a little more in the coming weeks. After all, we’re almost done with our Season 8 series and we’ve got to do something between now and the ignominious debut of Season . . . ugh . . . 21. For now you’ll have to content yourself with crappy, rage inducing clips from some typically brainless Season 12 episodes. There’s a “deleted” scene here and three regular style ones here. I…
Quote of the Day
“Good afternoon and welcome to the Do What You Feel Festival. By the way, this young lady is not my wife, but I am sleeping with her. I’m telling you this because I’m comfortable with my womanizing.” – Mayor Quimby
Pornography Monday
“Mom, I feel kind of funny wearing white, I mean . . . Milhouse.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, Milhouse doesn’t count.” – Marge Simpson It’s time for another installment of the pornographic search terms the world has used to find our stupid little blog. Many are just the usual requests for intergenerational incest and what have you. I was pretty amused by “extra porn lisa simpsons and milhouse”. What, exactly, makes porn “extra”? sex bart and marge simpsons homer and marge porn bart fucks milhouse free video bart bones marge bartporn (homer and lisa) simpson porn sex marge simpson und homer homer…
Quote of the Day
“But all I did was tell the truth.” – Marge Simpson “Of course you did. But there’s the truth . . . and the truth!” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“You know, you play pretty well for someone with no real problems.” – Bleeding Gums Murphy “Yeah, but I don’t feel any better.” – Lisa Simpson “The blues isn’t about feeling better, it’s about making other people feel worse, and making a few bucks while you’re at it.” – Bleeding Gums Murphy