“Barbershop? That ain’t be popular since aught-six, dagnabit.” – Bart Simpson “Bart, what did I tell you?” – Homer Simpson “No talking like a grizzled 1890s prospector. Consarnit.” – Bart Simpson
Month: September 2019
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Now, Bart, can you roll your eyes back in your head like this?” – Lionel Hutz “Oh, you mean like I’m dead? Yeah, sure!” – Bart Simpson “The kid’s a pro!” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“My theory is: Skinner likes dog food.” – Bart Simpson “Let’s bake him a cake.” – Marge Simpson “Ooh, a fresh batch of America balls!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“That’s my dad’s shootin’ car. Just three more payments and it’s ours.” – Nelson Muntz
Quote of the Day
“When my family arrived in this country four months ago, we spoke no English and had no money in our pockets. Today, we own a nationwide chain of wheel balancing centers. Where else but in America, or possibly Canada, could our family find such opportunity? That’s why, whenever I see the Stars & Stripes, I’ll always be reminded of that wonderful word: flag.” – Truong van Dinh
Quote of the Day
“Homer, young people learn about love from adults, and we’ve been setting a terrible example for our children and the community in general. I want us to deal with the issues raised by this book.” – Marge Simpson “Hmm.” – Homer Simpson “I knew we shouldn’t have put a fireplace in the bedroom.” – Marge Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“All these new superheros suck! None of them can hold a candle to Radioactive Man.” – Bart Simpson “The only decent new one is Radiation Dude.” – Milhouse van Houten “Nah. He’s just a cheap imitation of Radioactive Man.” – Bart Simpson “Explain.” – Milhouse van Houten “The similarities are subtle, but many.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I just want the whole world to know that this was a really crappy camp. Can I say crappy on TV?” – Bart Simpson “Yes, on this network you can.” – Kent Brockman
Makeup Quote of the Day
“What’s this?” – Homer Simpson “Aw, that’s the barbed wire. We, uh, we called that the ‘Stinger’. They, uh, they don’t let you use that no more.” – Moe
Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day
“Marge, the boy was wearing a Hawaiian shirt.” – Homer Simpson “So?” – Marge Simpson “There’s only two kinds of guys who wear those shirts: gay guys and big fat party animals. And Bart doesn’t look like a big fat party animal to me.” – Homer Simpson “So if you wore a Hawaiian shirt it wouldn’t be gay?” – Marge Simpson “Right. Thank you!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Well, I suppose if this doesn’t work out, you can always go back to the plant.” – Marge Simpson “Not the way I quit.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey Mom, Dad’s in a mental institution.” – Bart Simpson “Oh my god, mother was right.” – Marge Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Why do you have to make this so hard?” – Lisa Simpson “I’m using non-violent resistance.” – Bart Simpson “Ugh, the idea that you would compare yourself to Mahatma Gandhi…” – Lisa Simpson “Who?” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“It was all a dream.” – Mr. Smithers “That’s right, the year is 1965 and you and I are undercover detectives on the hot rod circuit. Now, let’s burn rubber, baby!” – C.M. Burns “Speedway Squad! In color!!” – Dream TV Announcer
Quote of the Day
“Bart, we’ve been going about this all wrong. What’s the one thing rabbis prize above everything else?” – Lisa Simpson “Those stupid hats?” – Bart Simpson “No, Bart, knowledge. . . . We’re gonna hit him where it hurts, right in the Judaica.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“That was beautiful. What’s it called?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, it’s a little tune that I call The I Never Had An Italian Soup Blues.” – Bleeding Gums Murphy Happy Birthday, Mike Reiss!
Quote of the Day
“Can’t make it in today, Mr. Smithers. I have smallpox. . . . Well, it wasn’t wiped out in my house.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“So, even if a man takes bread to feed his starving family, that would be stealing?” – Lisa Simpson “No. Well, it is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.” – Reverend Lovejoy
Quote of the Day
“But I can’t play quarterback, I don’t even know how!” – Bart Simpson “Son, you can do anything you want. I have total faith in you.” – Homer Simpson “Since when?” – Bart Simpson “Since your mother yelled at me.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Sorry about that guy, they stick all the jerks in Tower 1.” – Tower 2 Guy “That’s it! I’m coming over there!” – Tower 1 Jerk “Yeah, why don’t you come over here? I got something for you!” – Tower 2 Guy “Shut up, the both of yas!” – Other Tower 1 Jerk