“I’m Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?” – Bart Simpson “Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m the Devil! And you’ve earned eternal damnation for your lifetime of evil deeds, Bart. Spitting off the escalator just clinched it.” – The Devil Last week I got an email from a friendly guy named Morgan Criger in Toronto: I did a really decent Simpsons Hieronymus Bosch painting in quarantine and I thought it would be right up your alley. And he was right, check out this beauty: You can see these and more at his site: http://www.morgancriger.com. (There’s also a black…
Year: 2020
DVD Commentary: Crepes of Wrath with Wes Archer and George Meyer
Wednesday was the 30th Anniversary of “The Crepes of Wrath”. So I busted out my Season 1 DVDs and spent some quarantime listening to Wes Archer and George Meyer’s commentary. Wikipedia says these DVDs were released in September 2001, so the commentaries were probably recorded in early 2001 or so. From early 2001, this episode was 11 years old. Today it is 30 years old, so the time between the commentary recording and now is roughly double that between the episode and the recording. This gives an interesting flavor some of what’s said. By the time this was recorded, Archer…
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“Perhaps you’d be more comfortable talking to Snappy the Alligator.” – Mr. Smithers “Maybe.” – C.M. Burns The episode where Burns sells out to the Germans occurs halfway through Season 3. By this early point in the series we’ve already seen him gleefully cancel employee Christmas bonuses, run for governor, run down a child in his car, commit Homer (involuntarily) to a mental hospital, and rage scald Smithers with hot tea. As a human being he is comprehensively vile, uncaring about the pain his actions inflict and rich enough to cause damage on a scale most evil people could only…
Sunday Evening Cartoons: Brad Goodman vs. Rona
“Let’s look at the rainbow. What’s in there?” – Brad Goodman I’ve never had much use for “best episode” or “favorite season” discussions. I always enjoy talking Simpsons, even when I’m drinking my chicory, but trying to definitely say this essentially flawless episode is better than that essentially flawless episode has never seemed fun to me. That being said, I recognize that “Marge vs. the Monorail” will always top “Bart’s Inner Child” in terms of popularity. The song alone puts the monorail episode ahead. But the one and only thing I never liked about “Marge vs. the Monorail”, even…
Thursday Evening Cartoons
“We need a cure! We need a cure!” – Mob “Why the only cure is bedrest. Anything I give you would only be a placebo.” – Dr. Hibbert “Where do we get these placebos?!” – Panicked Woman “Maybe there’s some in this truck!” – Panicked Man Howdy, campers, how’s everyone doing with the ongoing unpleasantness? My life has certainly been turned upside down, though I’m on team “Stuck At Home” not team “Doing All the Real Work”, so I’ve got it fairly easy. And while there are a lot of people that I love and care about who are at…
Quote of the Day
“Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.” – Kent Brockman “My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist . . . but he is not a porn star.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“So much steak . . . lungs filling, sinuses packed with meat . . .” – Homer Simpson “C’mon, Dad, just twelve more pounds!” – Bart Simpson “Oh, humans are so ridiculous. He’s not even halfway through Walter and he’s already hallucinating.” – Sentient Bull
Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day
“Hello, I am Plato. Please partake of keno, craps, and the loosest slots in town! My philosophy is: enjoy.” – Plato
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Colonel Homer! And you must be-” – Lurleen Lumpkin “Mrs. Homer Simpson.” – Marge Simpson “Charmed.” – Lurleen Lumpkin “I thought you said she was overweight.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, it takes two to lie: one to lie, and one to listen.” – Homer Simpson;
Quote of the Day
“Dad, can I talk to you something?” – Bart Simpson “Sure, boy, what’s on your mind?” – Homer Simpson “Well, I was wondering, how important is it to be popular?” – Bart Simpson “I’m glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!” – Homer Simpson “So, like, sometimes you could do stuff that you think is pretty bad so other kids will like you better?” – Bart Simpson “You’re not talking about killing anyone, are you?” – Homer Simpson “No.” – Bart Simpson “Are you?!” – Homer Simpson “No!” – Bart Simpson “Then run…
Quote of the Day
“Look what I snagged, Marge: the candy bride and groom from the wedding cake. . . .” “. . . Mmm, pointy.” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“What’s going on?” – Lisa Simpson “It’s an old fashioned hole diggin’! By gar, it’s been a while!” – Jasper
Quote of the Day
“Now, whose calculator can tell me what seven times eight is?” – Mrs. Krabappel “Ooh, ooh, ooooh! Low battery?” – Milhouse van Houten “Whatever.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Well, Simpson, did you learn something today?” – Chief Wiggum “Ooh, did I ever! And that herbal anger rinse just washed the rage right out of me.” – Marge Simpson
Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day
“Homer, are you alright?” – Marge Simpson “I guess so, but that first month was pretty rough.” – Homer Simpson “You’ve only been gone two days.” – Marge Simpson “Really? Without teevee it’s hard to know when one day begins and the other ends.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I thought you said you’d tell me about my true love.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, you’ll have a true love. But I specialize in foretelling the relationships where you get jerked around.” – Renaissance Faire Fortune Teller
Quote of the Day
“Now, this is living, eh, kids? Hot pizza! The food of kings!” – Homer Simpson “Don’t be scared, Dad. It’s not so hard taking care of us.” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, I’m not scared. I think it’s a great chance to spend some time with you kids. Your mother always gets to be alone with you, and now it’s my turn . . . Does the time always drag like this?” – Homer Simpson Happy 30th anniversary to “Life on the Fast Lane”!
Quote of the Day
“What’s so special about this game anyway? It’s just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world’s largest pizza, so we burned down their city hall.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You gonna give me the money or not?” – Clancy Wiggum “Well, I don’t think so. You don’t even have a trigger on that thing.” – Homer Simpson “Yeah, I had to sell the trigger and most of the handle to feed my family. C’mon, gimme the dough! I can throw this pretty hard!” – Clancy Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Oh, boy, this is gonna get worse before it gets better.” – Chief Wiggum