“There are three things wrong with my costume. Anybody names those three things will get my hat.” – Mr. Bergstrom “I believe I know the answer.” – Lisa Simpson “What’s your name?” – Mr. Bergstrom “Lisa Simpson.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, go ahead miss Simpson.” – Mr. Bergstrom “Um, one, your belt buckle says State of Texas, but Texas wasn’t a state until 1845.” – Lisa Simpson “Very good.” – Lisa Simpson “Two, the revolver wasn’t invented until 1835.” – Lisa Simpson “That’s excellent.” – Mr. Bergstrom “Three, you seem to be of the Jewish faith.” – Lisa Simpson “Are…
Tag: Lisa’s Substitute
Quote of the Day
“You’ll have lots of special people in your life, Lisa. There’s probably some place where they all get together and the food is real good and guys like me are serving drinks.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Wow, you made the front page.” – Homer Simpson “Aw, Dad, it’s just a popularity contest.” – Bart Simpson “Just a popularity contest? Excuse me, what’s more important than popularity?” – Homer Simpson
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“Mr. Bergstrom!” – Lisa Simpson “Hi, Lisa!” – Mr. Bergstrom “Hey! You don’t have to pay! Read the sign!” – Homer Simpson “And this must be your father.” – Mr. Bergstrom When people talk about “Lisa’s Substitute”, it’s usually to praise the emotionally pitch perfect ending. First, there’s Mr. Bergstrom’s devastating departure (“That’s the problem with being middle class, anybody who really cares will abandon you for those who need it more.”); and then there’s Homer’s bumbling but ultimately successful attempt to explain to Lisa that he does love her even if they both know she’s a lot smarter than him…
Quote of the
“Now, Bart, do you really think you can win?” – Homer Simpson “Sure, why not?” – Bart Simpson “Woo-woo! Alright! I always knew you had personality! The doctor said it was hyperactivity, but I knew better!” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Perfectly Timed Door Slam Edition
“I’m glad I’m not crying, because I would hate for you think that what I’m about to say is based on emotion. But you, sir, are a baboon!” – Lisa Simpson “Me?” – Homer Simpson “Yes, you! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!” – Lisa Simpson “I don’t think you realize what you’re saying.” – Homer Simpson “Baboon!” – Lisa Simpson First off, sorry for the lack of Compare & Contrast this week. I’m still in the thick of it at work and didn’t have time. (Things will – he typed hopefully – ease off starting next week.) In regular news, we’ve…
Quote of the Day
“He says there aren’t any easy answers. I say: he’s not looking hard enough!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I think he’s taking the next train to Capital City.” – Apartment Woman “The train, how like him: traditional yet environmentally sound.” – Lisa Simpson “Yes, and it’s been the backbone of our country since Leland Stanford drove that golden spike at Promontory Point!” – Apartment Woman “I see he touched you too.” – Lisa Simpson Happy birthday Jo Ann Harris!
Quote of the Day
“And here comes Snowball II, this is the one we kept.” – Bart Simpson “Eww.” – Fourth Grade “We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.” – Bart Simpson “Eww.” – Fourth Grade “Mrs. Krabappel, he’s traumatizing the children.” – Martin Prince “As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!” – Mrs. Krabappel “Oh, look, this is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make ’em go back in!” – Bart Simpson
Reading Digest: Personal Inspiration Edition
“You’ll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator.” – Lisa Simpson “You’re going to miss your brother’s antics.” – Mr. Bergstrom “When?” – Lisa Simpson “When? When your life takes you places the rest of us have only heard about.” – Mr. Bergstrom “Places where my intelligence will be an asset and not a liability?” – Lisa Simpson “Yes, there is such a place.” – Mr. Bergstrom [Quick Note: Sorry for the erratic posting this week. I actually have three concurrent excuses: work, weather and illness, feel free to accept or disregard any or all of them. I’m…
Quote of the Day
Left to right, Isaac Asimov, Alfred Bester, Arthur C. Clarke, and Ray Bradbury. Images for Asimov, Clarke, and Bradbury from Wikipedia, Bester from NNDb. “Boys and girls, today we will begin selecting a class president. I’m not allowed to vote, but I strongly suggest you elect Martin. Martin?” – Mrs. Krabappel “As your president, I would demand a science fiction library featuring an A-B-C of the overlords of the genre: Asimov, Bester, Clarke!” – Martin Prince “What about Ray Bradbury?” – Wendell “I’m aware of his work. Thank you, and keep watching the skies!” – Martin Prince So long, Mr.…
Reading Digest: Future Canadian Prime Minister Edition
Google didn’t turn up the usual amount of stuff and WordPress had one of its occasional hiccups where it didn’t correctly index the Simpsons tags for a couple of days, so this week’s Reading Digest is shorter than usual. Despite the abnormal length we’ve still got a hallucinatory pepper, a real Duff beer advertising campaign, my new favorite cover band, ancient chess pieces, and the greatest MP in the history of Canada. Enjoy. Bad Rooster – Rolling in the Deep, featuring Marge Simpson – It’s a five piece bad whose lead singer is wearing a Marge Simpson costume while she…
Reading Digest: Pre-Halloween Creepiness Edition
“Actually, Mr. Simpson, they do know a great deal about the process of mummification. First they pulled the brain out through the nose with an iron hook, and stuffed the insides with sawdust and onions.” – Mr. Bergstrom “Eww, gross.” – Lisa Simpson “Ooh, pretty creepy. Still, I’d rather have him chasing me than the wolfman.” – Homer Simpson We’ve got two pre-Halloween links to rather disturbing images this week. One is directly from the show, the other is what even I assume is an un-licensed advertisement for products which are themselves creepy. There’s also a couple of fan made…
Quote of the Day
“They need me over in the projects of Capital City.” – Mr. Bergstrom “But, I need you too.” – Lisa Simpson “That’s the problem with being middle class, anybody who really cares will abandon you for those who need it more.” – Mr. Bergstrom Happy 20th anniversary to “Lisa’s Substitute”! Original airdate 25 April 1991.
Homer’s Enemy: Widely Acknowledge Turning Point
“Would you like to see my Grammy award?” – Homer Simpson Last summer, when Dave, Mad Jon and I were going through Season 8, we deliberately held “Homer’s Enemy” until the end. It was a turning point in the series, when Homer started to realize how awesome he was. By coincidence, I recently came across two different takes in the same vein. The first is an A.V. Club review of Futurama’s return. It contains a long digression about Frank Grimes: To put it another way: I love The Simpsons, like any reasonable person should, and I can’t stand what the…
Compare & Contrast: Absent Teachers
There were a lot of recycled ideas, gags, and scenes in “Stealing First Base”. Besides the narrative repetition of Bart getting another girlfriend and Lisa feeling unloved, there were a few specific things as well. The most direct of these came near the beginning, when Bart walked into class to see chaos in Mrs. Krabappel’s absence. Of course, this is extremely similar to the opening of Season 2’s “Lisa’s Substitute”. In “Stealing First Base” the opening chaos in the classroom runs for twenty seconds before we have any dialogue. It includes Nelson spitting in books, Lewis putting a firecracker in…
Voting Reminder
“I didn’t vote, voting’s for geeks.” – Nelson Muntz You’ve got a little less than a day and a half to vote in our drinking/Simpsons marathon poll. As of right now Season 5 is leading Season 3 by just one vote. Remember, if you’re not sure which episodes are in which seasons you can check out epguides for a complete list or SNPP for season by season breakdowns with descriptions. The poll will be open until midnight tomorrow US Eastern time (0500 Saturday 6 March GMT).
A Review Worthy of Zombie Simpsons
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user g_kat26. “No children you’re not seeing things. This, my little friends, is a schwa.” – Principal Skinner I generally avoid criticizing the tics and tacks of other people’s grammar and sentence construction. When it comes to the rules of the English language my knowledge is scant; the whys and wherefores of clauses and participles have always eluded me. On top of that I have a principled objection to the idea that my communications with other people should be rigidly governed by rules that were created long before I was born. If…
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user ktheory. “In a sample taken in this very classroom a state inspector found 1.74 parts per million of asbestos!” – Martin Prince “That’s not enough! We demand more asbestos!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You see class, my Lyme disease turned out to be psychosomatic.” – Miss Hoover “Does that me you were crazy?” – Ralph Wiggum “No, that means she was faking it.” – Janie “No, actually, it was a little of both. Sometimes, when a disease is in all the magazines and on all the news shows, it’s only natural that you think you have it.” – Miss Hoover Happy Birthday Maggie Roswell!