“I can see why this is so popular.” – Homer Simpson Meet Zaky, the purple bear with a message of tolerance – Zaky is a Barney clone, only he’s a bear instead of a dinosaur and his original target audience was Australian Muslims. Now he’s going global: Zaky’s creator, Sydney film producer Subhi Alshaik, describes the mild-mannered cartoon character as “the opposite of Bart Simpson” who teaches “good, ethical, moral messages”. I would not have guessed that the opposite of Bart Simpson was a purple bear, but what do I know? Lunch Break: Jon Stewart’s 1994 Interview With Conan O’Brien –…
Month: March 2009
Quote of the Day
“Tis a fine barn, but sure tis no pool, English.” – Amish Guy “D’oheth!” – Homer Simpson
Sunday Preview: "In the Name of the Grandfather"
“I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.” – Chalkboard gag American viewers are in for a real treat this Sunday night. As my colleague Mad Jon noted, “In the Name of the Grandfather” has already aired for our friends overseas, so we get to look forward to sloppy-Zombie Simpsons seconds for the first time ever. If you feel dirty, you should. Thanks to the magic of the Internet though, some of us more resourceful types have already watched it. I won’t spoil the finer surprises and disappointments, but needless to say, Mr. Potato Head has a speaking role as a judge.…
Quote of the Day
“I’m Kent Brockman, on the 11 o’clock news tonight, a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal. We won’t tell you which one until after sports and the weather with Funny Sonny Storm.” – Kent Brockman
Wednesday Evening Cartoons
“I’m alive! I’m alive and I couldn’t be happier! From this day forward, I vow to live life to its fullest!” – Homer Simpson The Simpsons often liked to mess around with their end credits, either playing a different song or having some remaining dialogue continue while they roll. One of the most underrated examples of this is the end of “One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish” (Season 2, Disc 2). After shouting the above, the credits roll while Homer sits on the couch, eating pork rinds (light!) and watching professional bowling. It’s great all by itself, but the…
Quote of the Day
“Now, you’ve got little hands; can you reach under that mower and pull out that skate? . . . Pfft, nevermind.” – Homer Simpson
Finally, A New Idea
“”What – are – you – looking at?” – The innocent words of a drunken child. Well, I’ll tell you what we’re looking at young man, a town gone mad. A town whose very conscious was washed away in a tide of beer and green vomit.” – Kent Brockman So today is St Patrick’s Day. Whoopee!!! If you are anything like me you are finishing up your Irish seven course and wondering about the special St. Patrick’s Day Zombie Simpsons episode that aired tonight on the other side of the pond, and will air in the States on Sunday. This…
Synergy: May I Get Out from Under Your Desk Now?
“A solar eclipse, the cosmic ballet goes on.” – Leonard Nimoy Editing this review so that it no longer reeks of Fox Executive ball sweat and dick smell was far more fun than the episode itself. I even remembered things I’d blocked out, like the solar powered train that stopped in an eclipse. Where the hell have I seen that before? Ah well, I’m sure it’ll come to me. Enjoy: March 16, 2009 – The story can often make all the difference in an episode of The Simpsons. Watching Principal Skinner lead the riffraff students out of the inner city…
Quote of the Day
“Who chased the Irish out of Springfield village in aught four? Me, that’s who!” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson “And a fine job you did, too.” – Irish Guy
Angry Yawns
That bizarro thing that was on last night distracted me enough that I forget to make an over/under prediction for this week’s ratings. Oh well, the under would’ve won because the numbers are in and once again they aren’t pretty. Just like last week, yesterday’s Zombie Simpsons failed to make the totally arbitrary six million people number, coming in at 5.97 million people. To give you an idea of just how bad things are, through thirteen episodes of Season 19 (the lowest rated season ever), Zombie Simpsons was averaging a little over 9 million viewers. Through thirteen episodes this…
Quote of the Day
“I can’t believe it, you’ve actually found a practical use for geometry.” – Bart Simpson
Loss for Words
“Oh no! Aliens, bio duplication, nude conspiracies, oh my god, Lyndon LaRouche was right!” – Homer Simpson I am at a loss for a way to criticize tonight’s Zombie Simpsons. It was so incoherent, random and boring that the only way to address it on its own level would be for me to drag my knuckles across the keyboard in a random pattern. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do. About the rats, the poison, the car crash and the rowboat: xdsfgbvgnmlkmjiugyfgvtf;l.ku,yjmngtbfdv scwvqc12345dewworeis7kjdy,uxjgcx,.figdkt7ejr4w,7ej,.drsuf6itdr5sltriekejye3hjym7r,dufmcvj cnvbfhtrs6tds6xftc,gkmfdmnyfhf b Then there was the ancient mystical convent, the time wasting clock scene, Marge…
Quote of the Day
“Beware the Ides of March.” – Lisa Simpson “No.” – Homer Simpson
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“It’s good! It’s good! It’s goooood! . . . It’s good to see you all in church.” – Homer Simpson Another one of the thousands of reasons that The Simpsons works better than any other show? Homer, suffering in a church pew like so many Americans, has Lovejoy’s sermon sync up with the football announcer. It’s too long ago to be sure, but I think I peed myself – just a little – the first time I ever saw this scene.
Quote of the Day
“So, Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon, if that is your real name, have you ever forgotten anything?” – Lionel Hutz “No. In fact, I can recite pi to 40,000 places. The last digit is 1.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Friday Link Dump – Math and Science Edition
“Lisa, your father needs your help. Do you know anything about Germany?” – Homer Simpson “Well, it’s a country in Europe.” – Lisa Simpson “Good good, I’m learning.” – Homer Simpson I found two different Periodic Tables on-line this week that use Homer Simpson to represent Element 108, Hassium. It doesn’t exist in nature, has a half life of 0.002 seconds and was discovered/created in 1984 by some Germans. Cartoon Character Periodic Table – Cobra Commander as Cobalt is good, but having The Tick as Titanium is better. Also, Flanders is Neodymium; unlike Homer he’s stable and exists outside…
Quote of the Day
“Ralph, Jesus did not have wheels.” – Sunday School Teacher
Quote of the Day
“Bart, get over to the mansion and open up all the windows! We want to get the old people smell out before we move in.” – Homer Simpson
A Simpsons Guest Star Quiz
Bored? Take this quiz. I got 100%; the average score was 58%. Suck it, Internet. And, bonus, most of the guest stars featured in the quiz weren’t shitty ones. I said most, not all.
Don’t Get Your Hopes Up, Ireland
“The Simpson story begins back in the old country, I forget which one exactly.” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson The next next new episode of Zombie Simpsons is going to premier in Ireland and the UK on St. Patrick’s Day. (It won’t be on here in the New World until next Sunday the 22nd.) Basically, Grandpa decides that he’s from Ireland and they go there and get drunk and buy a pub and probably some other random, disconnected stuff as well. But the Irish have apparently not gotten the message that Zombie Simpsons sucks balls. Like, really not gotten the message:…