“The American, Drederick Tatum, does a triumphant turkey trot over the supine Swede. One’s thoughts turn to Alexander of Macedon’s victories at Granicus and Issus.” – Howard Cosell
Month: March 2009
"No Loan Again, Naturally" predictably awful
It goes without saying that we here at the Dead Homer Society hated “No Loan Again, Naturally.” From the number of times Homer was seriously injured (4, including the opening sequence and couch gag), to Bart randomly being outed as a redhead, to the piss poor way Patty and Selma were drawn, there was very little to love. Even more charming moments, like the note Homer leaves upstairs, felt cursory in the broader context of the ham-handed plot. You mean Homer takes advantage of Flanders’ generosity — again? Get out. Honestly, getting a lecture from Zombie Simpsons about the consequences…
Five O’Clock Vulva
Dave found this a couple of weeks ago and while we’re not entirely sure of Blogger’s formal policy on links to websites with pictures of vaginas painted to look like Homer Simpson, it cannot be ignored. Fleshbot, do the NSFW honors: Finally, Some Simpsons Merchandise Worth Paying For We’ve seen girls who are totally shaved, totally natural, and somewhere in between. But we’ve never seen a girl with labia that looked like Homer Simpson… until today, that is. Thank you, internet porn, thank you.
Quote of the Day
“Question sixty. I prefer the smell of a) gasoline, b) French fries, or c) bank customers.” – Ms. Hoover
And the Hits Keep on Coming
Last night’s Flanders love-in was a near perfect microcosm of Zombie Simpsons crapitude: the Simpsons do something zany, Homer doesn’t worry about it because he knows everything is going to be okay, everything turns out to be okay for some reason, the end. Like much of Zombie Simpsons, there were a few chuckle worthy gags almost totally subsumed by the hurricane force torrents of “What the fuck?”. TV by the Numbers will have the ratings up in a few hours, in the meantime I’m setting the over/under at 7.1 million people. There was no NASCAR preemption this week and it…
If You Stop Praising It, Maybe They’ll Let It Die
“Now, at the risk of being unpopular, this reporter places the blame for all of this squarely on you, the viewers!” – Kent Brockman I still have not watched last night’s Zombie Simpsons episode, but I did spend the first 2 hours of my workday reading reviews on various fan sites. If I were 8 years old, obscenely gullible, or a high school student from a Detroit public school, I would run home right now to watch it as it was apparently good. No, not just good: “I claim this as a New Classic!” – Gatorgod (nohomers.net)Super, lemme get AMC…
Quote of the Day
“Well, it sort of looks like Homer Simpson, only more dynamic and resourceful.” – Mr. Smithers
Quote of the Day
“I didn’t think it would burn so fast.” – Marge’s Friend “I guess it’s the tissue paper inside.” – Marge Bouvier
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“You know, when that Simpson boy showed up it took years off my life.” – Mr. Bouvier “Will you stop it, she went out with the good one.” – Mrs. Bouvier The image above is among the many tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of reasons that The Simpsons flat out works in a way that no other television show, and certainly not Zombie Simpsons, works. It’s not that other shows have never used snapshot photos to advance the plot, it’s the fact that Simpsons is so dense with jokes and ideas that rather than spending even a moment…
Quote of the Day
“Eight fifty-eight, first time I’ve ever been early for work, except for all those Daylight Savings days . . . lousy farmers.” – Homer Simpson
Friday Link Dump
“Look boy, either Michael Jackson is some guy working in a recording studio in L.A., or he’s here with you willing to work on this song.” – Leon Kompowski Will posting links to random things that mention The Simpsons become a Friday tradition? Do you care? I sure don’t. Michael Jackson in 1992: ‘I think I had a crush on him’ – Looking back on it, Michael Jackson’s association with Bart Simpson is one of those pop culture coincidences that just makes the mind reel. Watch the ‘Do the Bartman’ video, especially the pelvic thrusting, and tell me it isn’t weirder than…
Quote of the Day
“Ever since you started therapy all you can do is talk about yourself. But what about me, Marge?” – Homer Simpson “I just left my first session and I haven’t even opened my mouth yet.” – Marge Simpson “You see? You see? *I* just left *my* first session, and *I* haven’t opened *my* mouth yet.” – Homer Simpson
Forfty
XKCD #386 Quoting and referencing The Simpsons – a lot – is part and parcel of being a Simpsons fan. Since I’m an asshole, I love excellent or appropriate usage and loathe poor or inappropriate usage. (Though I’ll admit that I’m frequently guilty of the latter.) Today during my daily perusing of the internet I came across this from The United Church Observer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.” This is a citation that frequently gets screwed up. Can you spot the error? Let’s try another example; this one is…
Quote of the Day
“We’ve made a false idol of this Brad Goodman.” – Rev. Lovejoy
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, I’m beginning to think that Homer Simpson was not the brilliant tactician I thought he was.” – C.M. Burns
Mmmmm, That’s Good Synergy
“You looken sharpen todayen mein Herr.” – Mr. Smithers There isn’t much point in posting a review of a television show that’s already been broadcast, but that didn’t stop the good people over at IGN from sucking up to their superiors. Their disturbingly obsequious review was written by one Robert Canning. To give you an idea of where he’s coming from, the only post on his “blog” at IGN is an about statement that has the following two sentences right next to each other: The Simpsons should never die. (Well, not never, but not for a while)I’m strangely attracted to Bonnie Hunt. I…
Quote of the Day
“Call me old fashioned, but movies were sexier when the actors kept their clothes on. Vilma Banky could do more for me with one raised eyebrow than an entire-” – C.M. Burns “Warning. Problem in Sector 7-G.” – Computer “7-G? Good God, who’s the safety inspector there?” – C.M. Burns “Homer Simpson, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Simpson, eh? Good man? Intelligent?” – C.M. Burns “Actually sir, he was hired under Project Bootstrap.” – Mr. Smithers “Thank you President Ford.” – C.M. Burns
NASCAR Cannot Save You
TV by the Numbers has yesterday’s ratings up and when I set the over/under at 6.5 million people I was almost dead on. NASCAR ran long, so Zombie Simpsons couldn’t crawl out of the dirt until after eight thirty. At that time “Post Race/Simpsons” drew 6.713 million people, at 9:00 “Simpsons/King of the Hill” declined to 6.316. That averages out to just over 6.5 million, but either number is hearteningly low, especially considering that NASCAR is a strong lead in, with 12.5 million people watching at 8:00pm. Zombie Simpsons hasn’t cracked 7 million people since November and the ratings are…
Quote of the Day
“Sometimes, Maude – God bless her – she underlines passages in my Bible because she can’t find hers.” – Ned Flanders “Oh, lucky you don’t keep guns in the house.” – Homer Simpson
Isn’t There An Award Show I Could Be Watching?
“TV sucks.” – Bart Simpson “How The Test Was Won” will be airing in about a half-hour, and instead of doing my duty and watching it so I may rip on it, I am seriously considering watching the Cops marathon on Tru TV. The Comcast (ugh) promo clearly states that Bart is going to be swept under the rug again, and Homer will have to avoid getting hurt because his insurance has lapsed. Homer hasn’t been safe from a weekly life-threatening injury in 11 years, so my guess is that he’s screwed. But don’t take my word for it, watch…