“Ever wondered how crackers get salted?” – Kirk van Houten “Have I! . . . Wow!” – Milhouse van Houten “Crackers, ho!” – Salt Dog Sled Team Guy
Month: March 2017
Quote of the Day
“That animal of yours is certainly bad tempered.” – Helen Lovejoy “Yeah, well, you’d be grumpy too if you were taken out of your natural habitat and gawked at by a bunch of slack jawed yokels.” – Lisa Simpson “Hey, ma, look at that pointy haired-ed little girl!” – Cletus
Quote of the Day
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” – Marge Simpson “We have orders not to fire on anybody but Greenpeace.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, we got another postcard from your father! ‘Wish You Were Her’, how many of these is he going to send me?” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“It’s a special isolation chamber! The subject pulls levers to receive food and warmth, the floor can become electrified, and showers of icy water randomly fall on the subject. I call it, the Monroe Box!” – Dr. Marvin Monroe “Uh-huh, well, it sounds interesting. How much will it cost to build?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Oh, that’s the beauty part, it’s already built! I need the money to buy a baby to raise in the box until the age of thirty.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe “What are you trying to prove?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Well, my theory is that…
Quote of the Day
“Now, before we negotiate, I have to tell you I’m desperate to unload Lurleen and I’ll take any offer.” – Homer Simpson “I’ll give you fifty bucks.” – Rebel Yell Records Executive “You son of a! . . . sold.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Good morning, class. A certain agitator, for privacy’s sake let’s call her Lisa S., no, that’s too obvious. Let’s say L. Simpson.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Remember when we were kids, we used to dream about our ideal husbands? Who knew the dream would come true for one of us? . . . Oh, come on, guess which one!” – Selma McClure “I know! I know! It’s Selma, right?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“So, come crawling back, eh?” – C.M. Burns “Seems like the classy thing to do would be not to call attention to it.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“What a whimsical building. Who says science can’t be fun?” – Lisa Simpson “Me. I smell a museum.” – Bart Simpson “Yeah, good things don’t end with -eum. They end with -mania. Or -teria.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Argh, here be a fine vessel. The yarghest river goin’ boat there be!” – Captain McAllister “I’ll take it!” – Homer Simpson “Argh, I don’t know what I’m doing.” – Captain McAllister
Quote of the Day
“Some things never change.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Hey, everybody! An old man’s talking!” – Milhouse van Houten
Behind Us Forever: A Father’s Watch
“I have a watch with a minute hand.” – Bart Simpson “Alright, you can come. What time is it?” – Mr. Smithers “12:80. No, wait. Wait. What comes after twelve?” – Bart Simpson “One.” – Mr. Smithers “No, after twelve.” – Bart Simpson First off, sorry for there not being a Behind Us Forever for “22 for 30” last week. I was traveling Monday and Tuesday and by the time Wednesday rolled around I really didn’t feel like getting back into it. For those who haven’t seen it, Zombie Simpsons replaced character exposition with voiceover narrator exposition, Bart shaved points…
Sunday Preview: A Father’s Watch
Marge turns to a series of parenting experts for advice when she becomes worried that Bart is destined for failure; Homer decides to open a trophy store; Grampa gives Bart a watch coveted by Homer. Oh joy. An episode of zombie simpsons where inter-generational issues arise. Excuse me while I get a pen so I can jot down the issues that are similar to the ones I have with my father. Oh wait, never mind, I am not watching this crap. Have a day.
Quote of the Day
“Yon meat is sweet as summer’s wafting breeze.” – Lunchlady Doris “Can I have some?” – Homer Simpson “Mine ears are open only to the pleas of those who speak ye olde English.” – Lunchlady Doris “Sweet maiden of the spit, grant now my boon that I might sup upon sucking pig this noon.” – Homer Simpson “Whatever.” – Lunchlady Doris
Quote of the Day
“Now, Mr. Lampwick, when Roger Meyers stole your character-” – Lionel Hutz “Objection.” – Blue Haired Lawyer “Sustained.” – Judge Snyder “If I hear ‘objection’ and ‘sustained’ one more time today, I think I’m going to scream!” – Lionel Hutz “Objection.” – Blue Haired Lawyer “Sustained.” – Judge Snyder “Ahhhhhhhhh!” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“Men, there’s a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know, because I crippled him myself to inspire you.” – C.M. Burns “I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he’s coming back.” – Milhouse van Houten
Quote of the Day
“Everybody, everybody get naked! C’mon, don’t be stuck up. It’s going to be great!” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment”! Original airdate: 16 March, 1997.
Quote of the Day
“Okay, the oven is clean itself, the vacuum is on dirt patrol, and Maggie is enjoying her swing-a-majig.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“There’s gotta be more trash around here somewhere.” – Lisa Simpson “Hey, why don’t you try the old folks home? They practically live in their own filth.” – Homer Simpson