“Can’t sleep. Clown’ll eat me. Can’t sleep. Clown’ll eat me….” – Bart Simpson
Year: 2018
Quote of the Day
“You were one of the original Little Rascals?” – Barney Gumble “Yeah.” – Moe “Which one were you? The ugly one? . . . Were you the ugly one?” – Homer Simpson “No, I was the tough kid, Smelly.” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“I want the most intelligent hamster you’ve got.” – Lisa Simpson “Okay . . . This little guy writes mysteries under the name of J.D. MacGregor.” – All Creatures Great and Cheap Clerk “How can a hamster write mysteries?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, he gets the ending first, then he works backward.” – All Creatures Great and Cheap Clerk “Aw, come on.” – Lisa Simpson “Look, kid, just take him before his mother eats him, alright?” – All Creatures Great and Cheap Clerk
Quote of the Day
“Okay, the material was a little corny, but Homer and I had real chemistry on screen.” – Marge Simpson “Every day I thought about firing Marge. You know, just to shake things up.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, the lamp’s running away.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“It must be exciting to make a different set of beds.” – Lisa Simpson “I know you’re joking…but it is!” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Now, Grand Funk Railroad paved the way for Jefferson Airplane, which cleared the way for Jefferson Starship. The stage was now set for the Alan Parson’s Project, which I believe was some sort of hovercraft.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Earth base, this is Commander Bart McCool, we are under attack by the Zornid Brainchangers. Quickly, into the safety dome, Milbot!” – Bart Simpson “Affirmative, humanoid.” – Milhouse van Houten “Eww.” – Bart Simpson & Milhouse van Houten “Don’t mind me, boys. Just scrubbin’ my undies.” – Homer Simpson “Sorry, Bart, your Dad kinda blew the fantasy. I only like it when I’m pretend scared.” – Milhouse van Houten
Quote of the Day
“Now, let us thank the Lord for this magnificent crystal cathedral, which allows us to look out upon His wondrous creation. . . Now, quickly, gaze down at God’s fabulous parquet floor! Eyes on the floor. Still on the floor.” – Not Robert Schuller “Ow, my ass!” – Homer Simpson “Always on God’s floor.” – Not Robert Schuller Happy 20th Anniversary to “Natural Born Kissers”! Original airdate 17 May 1998.
Quote of the Day
“Welcome. I am honored to accept your waste.” – Japanese Toilet “They’re years ahead of us!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“No, not the iodine! Burn the germs off with a torch! Amputate my arm! But not the . . . ahhhhhh!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“We’ve squozen our whole supply. To the lemon tree!” – Milhouse can Houten Note: “Squozen” is a seriously underrated Simpsons neologism.
Quote of the Day
“Here’s your taco, sir.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen “I don’t want it.” – Krusty the Klown “But this comes out of my salary! If I had a girlfriend, she’d kill me!” – Squeaky Voiced Teen
Quote of the Day
“Whoop-de-doo, employees! Everyone who’s found true love may leave early today!” – C.M. Burns “Yea!” – Most Employees
Quote of the Day
“Welcome back! I’m talking with the curator of the museum of TV and Television, Mr. John Winslow.” – Troy McClure
Quote of the Day
“Yeah, I’ll fetch you a ride little missy. Hop on in! Mind the skunk. Them things can go off even after theys dead.” – Cletus Happy 20th Anniversary to “Lost Our Lisa”. Original airdate Whacking Day, 1998.
Quote of the Day
“No one was showing up for jury duty, so we synergized it with his comic book collection.” – Lindsey Naegle “You have been chosen to join the Justice Squadron, eight a.m. Monday at the Municipal Fortress of Vengeance . . . Oh, I am so there!” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“Eine minuten, eine minuten! . . . Ach! Das wagen phone ist ein . . . nuisance phone!” – Nondescript Elderly Argentinian “Buenos notches, mein fuehrer.” – Charming Nazi “Ja, Ja.” – Nondescript Elderly Argentinian
Quote of the Day
“Any questions?” – Mrs. Krabappel “Mrs. Krabappel, how come you don’t live with Mr. Krabappel?” – Nelson Muntz “Because, Mr. Krabappel chased something small and fluffy down a rabbit hole.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Quote of the Day
“DOCTOR, ARE YOU SURE IT’S ON? I CAN’T HEAR A THING!” – Troy McClure “IT’S WHISPER-QUIET!” – Dr. Nick Riviera