“Now, Lisa, when you see there’s no silver tongue in there, will you stop trying to ruin Jebediah’s reputation?” – Mayor Quimby “Yes.” – Lisa Simpson “What do we win if the tongue is there?” – Homer Simpson “Credibility.” – Mayor Quimby “Aww, what a gyp.” – Homer Simpson
Year: 2018
Quote of the Day
“Officer, arrest the baby.” – C.M. Burns “Yeah, right, pops, no jury in the world’s gonna convict a baby. . . . maybe Texas.” – Chief Wiggum Happy Birthday Greg Daniels!
Quote of the Day
“Hey, the pig’s acting kinda funny.” – Fat Nerd “He and Mr. Simpson split a case of malt liquor.” – Skinny Nerd “Guys, he’s really sick!” – Black Nerd “Hello, that sounds like a pig fainting!” – Dean Bobby Peterson
Quote of the Day
“It’s so modern. It’s ultra-modern! Like living in the not too distant future.” – Selma Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“I felt so left out.” – Homer Simpson “Kids can be so cruel.” – Marge Simpson “We can? Thanks, Mom!” – Bart Simpson “Ow! Cut it out, Bart!” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Lord, protect this rocket house and all who dwell within the rocket house.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Please, feel free to express yourselves. In these sessions, we want you to feel relaxed and uninhibited.” – Nurse at New Bedlam Rest Home for the Emotionally Interesting
Quote of the Day
“They took the foam off the market because they found out it was poisonous. But if you ask me, if you’re dumb enough to eat it, you deserve to die. . . . Bart!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Ironic, isn’t it, Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you!” – C.M. Burns “You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.” – Mr. Smithers Sam Simon would’ve been 63 today. Happy birthday.
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Mr. Burns, this was all my fault.” – Mr. Smithers “Don’t concern yourself. If things had turned ugly, I always had my mace.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Best before November, 1959. Damn it, Bob, there were plenty of brand new bombs, but you had to go for that retro 50s charm!” – Sideshow Bob
Makeup Quote of the Day
“My friends, stop!” – Homer Simpson “Please, hurry.” – Hans Moleman
Quote of the Day
“The Leader knows how miserable you, Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie are.” – Movementarian “Really? I’m surprised about Maggie.” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Now I’d like to introduce a new feature, never before seen on TV: Dumb Pet Tricks! Ugh, oh, boy. Here’s a dog that’s been trained to catch this red rubber ball. . . . Somebody shoot it! Somebody shoot it!” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middle man who jacked up the price, and let’s not forget the humane but determined boys over at the slaughterhouse.” – Ned Flanders
Quote of the Day
“Marge! You look wonderful! And to think I heard you married Homer Simpson!” – Evelyn “I did marry Homer.” – Marge Simpson “Come, you must show me the pumps.” – Evelyn
Quote of the Day
“I’m sorry I left you alone with Homer and Bart.” – Lisa Simpon “No, no, honey. We had a fine time.” – High Parkfield “How’d you get that gash on your forehead?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, that was when we hid in the dumpster after the fire alarm went off in the pornographic magazine warehouse.” – Hugh Parkfield
Quote of the Day
♫”Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy…”♫ – Guitar Hippy
Quote of the Day
“You know, Smithers, I think I’ll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage . . . when pigs fly!” – C.M. Burns “Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?” – Mr. Smithers “No, I’d still prefer not.” – C.M. Burns
Makeup Quote of the Day (Again)
“Man, I wish I was an adult so I could break the rules.” – Bart Simpson