“Bart, think I can ever find another one like her?” – Milhouse van Houten “You’re asking the wrong guy, Milhouse. They all look alike to me. Now, let’s go whip donuts at old people.” – Bart Simpson
Tag: Bart’s Friend Falls in Love
Quote of the Day
“We’re out of Subliminally Slim.” – Warehouse Guy “Enh, just send him the vocabulary builder.” – Other Warehouse Guy “Here ya go, fatso.” – Warehouse Guy
Quote of the Day
“This is Fuzzy Bunny. About a year ago, he noticed his voice was changing. He had terrible acne. And had fur where there was no fur before.” – Troy McClure
Quote of the Day
“Any questions?” – Mrs. Krabappel “Mrs. Krabappel, how come you don’t live with Mr. Krabappel?” – Nelson Muntz “Because, Mr. Krabappel chased something small and fluffy down a rabbit hole.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Quote of the Day
“I’m sure this is a little scary for you, dear.” – Mrs. Krabappel “Uh-huh.” – Samantha Stanky “So, why don’t you stand up in front of the class and tell us about yourself? I’ll be grading you on grammar and poise.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Quote of the Day
“I’m a good student, Principal Skinner.” – Samantha Stanky “Yeah, sure, and they told me I’d get a big parade when I got back from Nam. Instead they spat on me. I can still feel it searing. . . . So, let’s just see what the permanent record has to say, shall we? Hmm, no detention, fairly good attendance record, oh, I see you beat that bed wetting problem in the second grade.” – Principal Skinner “That’s in there?” – Samantha Stanky “Don’t worry, they’ll forget. . . . Just like they forgot about me in that tiger cage for…
Quote of the Day
“Class, in order to explain why your hormones will soon make you an easy target for every smooth talking lothario with his own car and tight jeans, I will now show a short, sex education film. Ezekiel and Ishmael, in accordance with your parents wishes, you may step out into the hall and pray for our souls.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Quote of the Day
“Everybody on, but no shoving! Just kidding, you can shove all you want!” – Otto
Reading Digest: The Simpsons Will Outlive Us All Edition
“Hey, Bart, according to this magazine, in another million years man’ll have an extra finger.” – Lisa Simpson “Five fingers? Eww, freakshow.” – Bart Simpson For obvious reasons, this site takes the position that The Simpsons was and is the greatest show ever. (Zombie Simpsons naturally excluded.) Of course, plenty of people disagree about that for one reason or another, but the nice thing about being a Simpsons advocate is that I get to cite examples, lots of them. For instance, this week we have a link to an article about the best sitcom of the 1990s, the author presumes that The…
Compare & Contrast: Overprotective Fathers
“Samantha!” – Mr. Stanky “Dad!” – Samantha Stanky “Noooooo!” – Mr. Stanky As far as nothingburger girlfriend characters go, Kumiko is so empty that she makes the relatively one-dimensional Rene from Season 9 look like Katniss Everdeen. Rene at least talked to Moe before dating him out of pity. Kumiko apparently fell in love with Comic Book Guy without even so much as meeting him. But even that vacuous characterization is rich and deep compared to Kumiko’s father, who shows up out of the blue and instantly becomes the focus of the episode despite failing, after his very first scene,…
Quote of the Day
“Operator, I’d like to place an order for my husband.” – Marge Simpson “Would he like to lose weight, stop smoking, learn the state capitals, master hostage negotiations . . .” – Subliminal Tape Operator “Hmm, hostage negotiations . . .” “Listen, Taboli, we’re ignoring all of your demands. What do you say to that?” – Hostage Negotiator Homer “Better give me the weight loss tape.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Martin.” – Bart Simpson “Bart? This is the first time anyone has ever sat next to me since I successfully lobbied to have the school day extended by twenty minutes.” – Martin Prince
Quote of the Day
“Americans have grown up with the image of the jolly fat man, Dom DeLuise, Alfred Hitchcock, and, of course, Santa Claus. But in real life, Santa would be suffering from gall stones, hypertension, impotence, and diabetes.” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
“Samantha, I’ve always been suspicious of transfer students. Other principals try to unload problem cases that way. Lord knows I do.” – Principal Skinner
“Zombie Simpsons” Update
“To those who doubt the power of the magic 8-ball, I say: behold my F!” – Bart Simpson You may have noticed that since last weekend the “Zombie Simpsons: How the Best Show Ever Became the Broadcasting Undead” pages have undergone some revisions. The text of the book here at the site is now completely updated to the official 1.1 version of the text. In addition to that, the main page has been revised to account for the fact that the book is now completely up at the site and not being parceled out chapter by chapter. The Kindle version…
Quote of the Day
“Hello, I’m actor Troy McClure, you kids might remember me from such educational films as ‘Lead Paint: Delicious but Deadly’, and ‘Here Comes the Metric System’. I’m here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here’s ‘Fuzzy Bunny’s Guide to You-Know-What’.” – Troy McClure Happy 20th Anniversary to “Bart’s Friend Falls in Love”! Original airdate 7 May 1992.
Compare & Contrast: Bart and Milhouse Fall Out
“Whoa, I bet the 8-Ball didn’t see that one coming.” – Bart Simpson “Yeah.” – Milhouse van Houten With so many years of backstory hanging over its head, Zombie Simpsons often resorts to the inane and bizarre to keep believable and long established relationships fresh. Once upon a time, Moe was Homer’s bartender. Sure, they knew each other a bit better than the average rag and coaster jockeys, but they never strayed too far from the recognizable baseline of bartender-customer. Along the same line, Skinner and Chalmers used to be junior and senior in a dumb bureaucracy and Lenny and…
Somewhere, Birch Barlow Doesn’t Weep
“Bart, I don’t want you to see me cry.” – Milhouse van Houten “Oh come on, I’ve seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee, you cry when they’re out of chocolate milk, you cry when you’re doing long division and you have a remainder left over.” – Bart Simpson A few episodes ago, Zombie Simpsons had Krusty point out that because of the lead time of their animation they come off looking like cheap, late-to-the-party hacks when they try to do topical shows. That fundamental problem was all over last night’s year late Glenn…
Quote of the Day
“We just moved here from Phoenix. My dad owns a home security company; he came to Springfield because of its high crime rate and lackluster police force. All my friends are back in Phoenix, and this town has a weird smell that you’re all probably used to, but I’m not.” – Samantha Stanky “It’ll take you about six weeks, dear.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Quote of the Day
“How do we know when we fall in love?” – Samantha Stanky “Oh, don’t you worry. Most of you will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone.” – Mrs. Krabappel Happy birthday Marcia Wallace!