“Then I got this scar sneaking under the door of a pay toilet.” – Homer Simpson
Category: QotD
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Lemme through! Lemme through! I’m her husband!” – Homer Simpson “Well, that explains a lot.” – Eddie
Quote of the Day
“I like our chances, son.” – Homer Simpson “Ugh. Your father’s not supposed to help build your racer but you should at least consult him about it.” – Soapbox Derby Racing Official
Quote of the Day
“That makes twenty-two to sixteen.” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“This one’s mine.” – Marge Simpson “Keep On Truckin’? What does that mean?” – Lisa Simpson “I didn’t know then and I don’t know now.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Why don’t you buy it?” – Bart Simpson “I can’t buy that. Only management type guys with big salaries like me can afford things like that. . . . Guys like me! I’m a guy like me!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. And you must be the man who didn’t know if he had a pimple or a boil.” – Jay Sherman “It was a gummy bear.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Screw the honor system, my car needs me!” – Snake “Hey, you’re ruining it for the rest of us!” – Kearney
Quote of the Day
“Now, unfortunately, our school clocks have been running fast all semester. So, today, we all have to stay two extra hours to make up for the time we lost. Ha!” – Mrs. Krabappel “Ohhh.” – Students
Quote of the Day
“Look, Marge! A restaurant owned by celebrities! I always wanted to be a celebrity!” – Homer Simpson “Yes, it’s true, the entire menu was personally approved by my secretary.” – Rainier Wolfcastle
Quote of the Day
“Must kill Moe . . . Wheee! . . . Must kill Moe . . . Wheee!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“It all started on the thirteenth hour of the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month. We were there to discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased.” – Marge Simpson “Lousy Smarch weather.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Come on, move your butt! You’re blocking traffic!” – Marge Simpson “That’s no way to address Sir-Drinks-A-Lot.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“One ocean tango, we are in pursuit of a speeding individual driving a red . . . car, license number: Eggplant-Xerxes-Crybaby-Overbite-Narwhal.” – Eddie
Quote of the Day
“Evening, Simpson. You got a short in your tail light. Started blinking when you made that turn.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Nice dismount, man.” – Jimbo Jones “Didn’t hurt.” – Bart Simpson “Oh, yeah, well, do it again.” – Kearney “Nah. Might land on my face and end up looking like you.” – Bart Simpson Happy 30th anniversary to “The Telltale Head”!
Quote of the Day
“Mission Control, this is Corvair, launch sequence initiated. All systems go.” – Buzz Alrdrin “Are we there yet, I’m thirsty?” – Homer Simpson “Mission Control, request permission to sedate cargo ahead of schedule.” – Race Banyon “Permission denied.” – Mission Control “Ugh.” – Race Banyon
Quote of the Day
“I’m telling you, Cecil, I can’t take much more of this! Rustic workmen have turned the sani-john into a smokehouse, coveralls that don’t quite cover all…” – Sideshow Bob
Quote of the Day
♫”Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, sixty-five tons of American pride! Canyonero . . . Canyonero! Top of the line in utility sports, unexplained fires are a matter for the courts! Canyonero . . . Canyonero!”♫ – Hank Williams, Jr.
Quote of the Day
“Bart! Lisa! If you don’t behave we’ll turn this car right around and go home!” – Marge Simpson “But, Marge! I want to see my brother!” – Homer Simpson “Oh, for God’s sakes, Homer, it’s an empty threat.” – Marge Simpson