By avoiding anything and everything that had to do with the Simpsons stamps this week I got a pretty motley group, from triceratops to transvestism. 

New Fossil Discovery in Montana’s Homer Site – More news from our favorite Triceratops dig, apparently juveniles lived in groups.  No word on whether or not the mother was a put upon housewife. 

Kids, writing should never be a punishment – A guy in Minnesota thinks that making students write lines or punitive essays is a bad practice.  Here’s the Simpsons part:

Checking online, apparently writing still serves as a punishment in some schools, though it isn’t as widespread as it once was and it was never as widespread as the entertainment field makes it out to be. (Think Bart Simpson at the introduction to “The Simpsons.”)

The practice was going out of style, but I spent some time in the late eighties and early nineties writing things over and over again (on a chalkboard and on paper).  I thought it was pretty common. 

The Hours: 24, Season 7: The weaponized megavirus will be ready at the end of the episode. – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: 24 is unwatchably bad.  Here’s the passage that got it linked today:

Some mercs in an armored Humvee drive by, so Knowles tries to create a distraction, Bart Simpson style, which means he pretty much just runs out and yells “Look at me, everybody, I’m Chairman of the Board!” They throw his dumb ass in the back of the Humvee.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sure on the edge of my seat.

What belongs in the Oregon encyclopedia? – If you’re in Corvallis (home of Oregon State University) you can attend a lecture on the 27th about assembling the Oregon Encyclopedia titled, “What Beavers, Ducks, Bart Simpson and Leroy Vinnegar Have in Common, or How to Make a State Encyclopedia of Oregon.”  Groening is from Oregon, hence Bart makes the cut. 

Teacher becomes blue-haired lunch lady to settle a good-natured bet – At last, an excuse to wear makeup. 

Chatting Up Chicks The Vassar Way – This is stupid, but it makes the links for having both an explicit Simpsons reference at the get go and a slightly subtler one in the middle.

Friday’s TV: Medium – This kind of crap cannot go unchallenged:

Despite its age, The Simpsons survives. The writing isn’t as sharp as it once was (the best years were somewhere in the middle, where it played a little closer to the darkness) but this is still a robust, engaging comedy with a lot to say about American life.

Were it a weaker program it might have resorted to aping its nemesis, Family Guy, with the non sequiturs and pop-culture references that have made that show a must-watch comedy. But The Simpsons is better than that and deserves some respect for staying true to itself.

I want you to hang up, call me back and say the exact opposite of everything you just said.

Steve and Mia: She’s longing for a romantic man – Steve the advice columnist accurately quotes Lisa and does so in context.  Excellent usage. 

The Price of Admission – This is about Cornell admitting more rich dolts instead of poorer brainiacs and it also contains a well formulated Simpsons analogy.

Green Energy Act a Trojan horse for building more nuclear reactors – A bunch of Greenpeace protesters in Canada donned Mr. Burns masks.  This image is a little small, but you can see a bunch of yellow heads pretty clearly.

(via.) 

The Simpsons Softball Team: 2009 Edition – What players would Mr. Burns use as ringers today?  After all, Cap Anson and Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown are still dead.