It was announced this morning that nerd of note David Souter, left, plans to retire back to his home state of New Hampshire at the end of the Supreme Court’s current term in June.  

Now, we all know that Earl Warren was secretly a stripper, and then on Wednesday’s Colbert Report we learned that Justice Stephen Breyer used to have people stick things in his underwear, “mostly singles” according to Colbert.  (The story starts at the 4:20 mark.)  If we put those two factesque things together we’re left with an obvious and inescapable conclusion: a cabal of strippers has been overseeing our country’s jurisprudence since at least the 1950s.    

The New York Times reports that:

Justice Souter . . . has grown increasingly sour on Washington and intends to return to his home state, New Hampshire, according to the people briefed on his plans.

I couldn’t find any male strip clubs in New Hampshire, but I did find Male Encounter Boston, “New England’s longest running all male revue”.  Are they hiring, I wonder?  After all, that’s a man who knows how to properly grip a gavel and you could hide absolutely anything under that robe . . .