This is a drink tray. It was officially licensed by FOX. Someone in a nice office signed off on this. And yet the simple act of proofreading an eleven word quote, quite possibly the most used quote this side of “D’oh”, was too much quality control to ask. Of course getting the quote wrong takes away from it. It’s not as funny when you add the word “little” because it diminishes the otherwise universal scale of the quote. Shit like this, retailing for a mere £3.99, is the primary reason Zombie Simpsons is still on the air.
Month: January 2010
Crazy Noises: Once Upon a Time in Springfield
“Krusty, why won’t you answer my calls? You’ve never even seen our son.” – Fraught Woman In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “illegitimate”). I sometimes wonder whether the people behind Zombie Simpsons operate from…
Quote of the Day
“Ah, sweet liquor eases the pain.” – Troy McClure
But It’s Getting Better! (wipes away tear, stomps foot)
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user TheNickster. “Mom, can I go buy one of those long plastic horns?” – Bart Simpson “Oh Bart, we’ve bought those before and you always just throw them out the car window on the ride home.” – Marge Simpson “I get bored with them. But that won’t happen this time!” – Bart Simpson One of the main arguments of Zombie Simpson defenders is the old “It’s still better than most teevee!” canard. We here at the Dead Homer Society have pointed out numerous times before that even if we accept that as…
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Ely80. “Here’s a tasty little lager that came all the way from Holland.” – Ned Flanders “Well, beggars can’t be choosy.” – Homer Simpson
Synergy Contradicts Itself
“Smithers I’ve been thinking, is it wrong to cheat in order to win a million dollar bet?” – C.M. Burns “Yes, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat in order to win a million dollar bet?” – C.M. Burns “No, sir. Who would you like killed?” – Mr. Smithers In its never ending mission to praise Zombie Simpsons in the most obsequious of ways IGN will sometimes slip up. Like all paid sycophants, IGN doesn’t have a coherent, well thought out world view. It simply finds ways to praise and doesn’t concern itself…
Quote of the Day
“Let me try a canine-human mind meld. It’s an incredibly rare psychic power possessed only by me, and three other clerks at this store.” – Pet Shop Clerk
Very Belated Simpsons Alumni Update: Conan O’Brien
There was no new Zombie Simpsons last night and because it’s Martin Luther King Day here in the States things are kinda slow. (MLK Day is like a lot of America’s second tier holidays in that we only partially observe it. Case in point: the mail doesn’t get delivered but my garbage was picked up as usual this morning.) But I did find this absolutely excellent New York Times op-ed piece from 1993 (via Warming Glow). It was written by a fresh off The Simpsons Conan O’Brien as a fake review of his opening night as a late night host. …
Quote of the Day
“Look everyone, now that I’m a teacher I’ve sewed patches on my elbows.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, that’s supposed to be leather patches on a tweed blazer, not the other way around. You’ve ruined a perfectly good jacket.” – Marge Simpson “Ah, incorrect Marge, two perfectly good jackets.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You’ve made an old jazz man happy, Lisa.” – Bleeding Gums Murphy Cloud “You must avenge my death Kimba, I mean Simba.” – Mufasa Cloud “Luke, I am your father.” – Darth Vader Cloud “This is CNN.” – James Earl Jones Cloud “Will you guys pipe down! I’m saying goodbye to Lisa!” – Bleeding Gums Murphy Cloud “We’re sorry.” – Mufasa Cloud, Darth Vader Cloud, James Earl Jones Cloud Happy Birthday James Earl Jones!
James L. Brooks FTW
“What about me? You didn’t thank me.” – Homer Simpson “You didn’t do anything.” – Bart Simpson “I like being thanked.” – Homer Simpson Sure enough the one thing about Spurlock’s special I didn’t like was the casual defense of the quality of Zombie Simpsons. I suppose it had to be in there, but it was no less galling for being obligatory. However, much like the overwhelming preponderance of clips from the early years I thought the kiss off was a little revealing. It basically consisted of three people, two guys who worked only on Zombie Simpsons and James Brooks. …
Spurlock’s Bearded Friend Identified
In the comments for this week’s Reading Digest Jake pointed out this article from AVClub: How I ended up in Morgan Spurlock’s Simpsons documentary (barely) The bearded guy was Steven Hyden a writer with the A.V. Club. Here’s the skinny: I grew up a huge Simpsons fan, but I haven’t watched the show regularly in about 10 years because, well, it has sort of sucked for a long time. Unless you’re a deeply deluded Simpsons fanatic, it seems pretty obvious that the show is several years past its peak. Anyway, that’s the gist of what I said in this Crosstalk…
Quote of the Day
“I am thinking you like this girl, yes?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “How did you know?” – Bart Simpson “My ceiling mirrors and video cameras sometimes see more than who is about to shoot me.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Idiot to Attempt Suicide by Zombie Simpsons
This is really fucking stupid and the headline tells you most of what you need to know: Doh! Simpsons fan celebrates show’s 20th anniversary by watching ALL 451 episodes in six-day TV marathon Yes, this is actually happening. And if you read the story you’ll see it’s even worse than you might already think: To say Stott is something of a Simpsons fan is a bit of an understatement – he reckons he’s spent over $150,000 on merchandise from the show including a donut maker and life-sized models of the characters. […] A spokesman for the show’s producer, Fox, said:…
Reading Digest: “The British Are Coming!” Edition
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user taberandrew. “If I didn’t have this gun, the King of England could just walk in here any time he wants and start shoving you around.” – Homer Simpson British newspapers and broadcasters were all over the 20th anniversary stuff this week and as a result there are a ton of British links. In addition to that we’ve got an excellent piece of usage, a cool YouTube video, a twenty year old story about Simpsons licensing, somebody I don’t agree with and a couple of people I do. Enjoy. The Simpsons:…
Quote of the Day
“Ralph, A. Janie, A. And Lisa, for your – ahem – essay, ‘Jebediah Springfield: Superfraud’, F.” – Miss Hoover “But it’s all true.” – Lisa Simpson “This is nothing but dead white male bashing from a PC thug. It’s women like you who keep the rest of us from landing a husband.” – Miss Hoover
Blood from a Turnip
“Can I have some money now?” – Homer Simpson The existence of Zombie Simpsons these past ten years or so has been an exercise in naked greed. But up until this week FOX had generally tried to shield the show itself from at least some of that. Sure they’ll merchandise anything, but the actual show, the foundation upon which everything else rests, was generally treated with a modicum of respect. No longer. This is a screen grab from the menu for the Season 20 DVD: That’s it. They couldn’t even be bothered to properly animate the upper half of…
Quote of the Day
“We could look this “id” thing up in the dictionary.” – Marge Simpson “We got one?” – Homer Simpson “I think it’s under the short leg of the couch.” – Marge Simpson Happy 20th anniversary to “Bart the Genius”!
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user r.f.m II. “Hey Willie, that old couple looks just like you.” – Homer Simpson “Aye, ’tis my Ma and Pa. They own a tavern hereabouts, they still have the same pool table on which I was conceived, born and educated.” – Groundskeeper Willie
Morgan Spurlock Doesn’t Like Zombie Simpsons
“Look Bart, it almost killed me but I handcrafted all seventy-five characters from ‘Oliver Twist’. And now, the coup-de-grace, a bitter snowstorm.” – Lisa Simpson They say it is best to judge a man not by his words but by his actions. By that criteria I would like to thank Morgan Spurlock for publicly disparaging Zombie Simpsons – on FOX itself. To the untrained eye it looked like he was just eating an orange, but to the eye that has brains he was making a guerilla point about Zombie Simpsons. It took a disturbing amount of my (admittedly not very…