“But first, let’s check the death count from the killer storm bearing down on us like a shotgun full of snow!” – Kent Brockman

“Well Kent, as of now the death count is zero, but it is ready to shoot right up.” – Meterologist

“Oh my god. Damn you, snow!” – Kent Brockman

“All right, snow day! No school tomorrow!” – Bart Simpson

…

“That doesn’t mean you don’t have to do your book report. What if the weatherman is wrong?” – Lisa Simpson

“Lisa, that man is a professional meteorologist.” – Bart Simpson

“Kent, I’d like to remind everybody to come down and watch me at the Springfield Laugh ‘N Brew, and burgers and fries this Saturday. The forecast calls for a 75% chance of hilarity.” – Meterologist

“I like those odds.” – Homer Simpson

Loyal Stonecutter’s note: A large portion of the US is getting dumped on right now and more than one blog has called it the “snowpocalypse.” This exchange seemed rather appropriate.