“Alright leeches, I want you to see what a good writer looks like!” – Roger Meyers Jr.

This week we have some excellent usage, shoes, cool fan made stuff in the form of a word poster and some Simpsons checks and, most importantly, Sam Simon telling us what we already know. 

Enjoy. 

Via SNPP’s Twitter feed comes the truth from none other then Sam Simon himself:

Amen.

Check Designs – Seriously well done Simpsons check designs, one each for Bart, Lisa and Homer. 

Hank Azaria at the WSOP – This is a YouTube video of Hank Azaria talking about how the various characters he plays would do at poker.  I’m not sure if it’s recent or if it’s been on-line for years, but it’s worth a minute of your time (via Scottys Blog). 

Dang, I Love “Word Art” Or Typography Or Whatever This Is – Bitchin’ poster of Homer as Homer quotes (sadly, there is some Zombie Simpsons, but not much).  Others, for movies like Clerks and The Big Lebowski, can be found here.

Fingers You Used Are Too Fat – There are many ways to not answer your phone.  This one is awesome (via). 

More concerns over deformed fish – You cannot talk about deformed fish without mentioning Blinky.  I think it’s a law or something. 

Glenn Beck Uses Pies and ‘Simpsons’ References to Illustrate Obama ‘Socialism’ (VIDEO) – There’s a lot of discussion about whether or not Joaquin Phoenix’s new movie is a massive put on or not.  I think it’s clever marketing either way.  But Phoenix ain’t got shit on our man Glenn Beck.  He’s been nationally famous for coming up on two years now and still no one has any real idea what he’s doing.  As performance art, it’s brilliant.  (Note: The video at the link played a little commercial for me first, but that is why we have tabbed browsing.) 

If the 2010 Phillies Were Characters From The Simpsons – Pretty much exactly what it says it is.

Hang in there, baby! – Cool drawing of a cat hanging in there, baby.  It’s accompanied by a Marge screen grab that slightly misquotes her.  She actually says “Determined or not that cat must be long dead”, but it’s very close so it’s still excellent usage. 

Simpsons Theme – A Simpsons theme for Google Chrome.

Nine Things We’ve Learned From The First Two Weeks of College Football 2010 – Being a big time college football coach comes with a lot of humiliating moments.  Even given Tennessee’s recent history, this is pretty bad for head coach Derek Dooley:

“We’ve had a few staph infections, so we did a clinic yesterday on proper shower technique and soap and using a rag, Dooley said. We put some new rags in — y’all think I’m kidding, but I’m serious. We had, I told them, the worst shower discipline of any team I’ve ever been around.

Which prompts this wonderful snark:

Oh, the questions this raises…How bad at showering and cleaning yourself do you have to be before your coach intervenes? Don’t you think that hygiene issues would have become very apparent during the two-a-day workouts? Did the Volunteers actually hire Bart Simpson as a training consultant for this exercise? Just what exactly is “shower discipline?”

That Bart Simpson link is YouTube:

Ugly Americans returns to Comedy Central Oct. 6 – David M. Stern’s series is back for it’s second season starting next month.  I thought the first season was uneven, but had some very funny episodes.  It does have a great concept, so hopefully Season 2 will be even better. 

Nike Dunk High The Simpsons – Nike made some Simpsons shoes.  That is all.

The Simpsons Season 13 DVD Review – This is more forgiving towards Zombie Simpsons than I’m willing to be, but at least it’s a review of the DVDs that doesn’t duck the issue of the massive decline in quality. 

Review: ‘The Simpsons’ Season 22 Premiere – In contrast to the relatively grounded DVD review above, this review of the first episode of Season 22 is guzzling the Zombie Simpsons Kool-Aid.  Here it engages the old “But It’s Getting Better” fallacy:

I know some people reference the golden age of “The Simpsons” and think it’s passed. I’ll give you the golden age and a rough patch but I think we’ve moved through the new renaissance and into the postmodern period of “The Simpsons.”

But for the sheer facepalm factor, it’s got to be this:

This season’s premiere is really guest star centric and the best jokes are courtesy of the guests. That’s unusual because usually guest stars play minor roles, or at least they’re in on the “Simpsons” joke. This one really depends on them.

I’ll limit myself to Season 21 examples.  There was the Seth Rogen episode, the Sacha Baron Cohen episode, the American Idol episode, the Jonah Hill episode, I could go on, but why bother?  Each one  was a rickety house of cards built around a celebrity either playing themselves or something very close to it.  

Niagara Falls, Canada 9/10/10 – 9/13/10 – Homer with ax in Shinning pose (via Springfield Springfield’s twitter). 

The Simpsons Review Part 1: The Classic Era – A thoughtful review of the single digit seasons:

My favorite of this season is Lisa the Simpson: a final, good emotional episode from Oakley and Weinstein before the dark ages.

Heh, “dark ages”.

2008 – With Halloween only six weeks away, we’ve got our first Simpsons jack-o-lantern of the year, an exquisitely carved Homer from 2008. 

In The Beginning – And here’s the same guy’s Homer from 2007. 

How To Ruin Your Father’s Wedding To A Gold-Digging Whore – And finally, noted author Drew Magary agrees with us:

(On a related note, I get extremely pissed at my digital guide when it fails to provide me with adequate info about a show. For example, whenever the Simpsons comes on, the DirecTV info guide will tell me The Simpsons is "the adventures of Homer, Marge, Bart, Maggie, and Lisa in Springfield." No shit, DirecTV. I know the gist of the show. But what fucking episode is it? Is it a season six masterpiece? Or is it from the horrid fifteenth season of something like that? Assholes.)

See that, Zombie Simpsons?  Nobody likes you.