“It’s a touchdown for halfback Dan Beerdorf! Duff Dry has won the Duff Bowl!” – Commercial Announcer “They wanted it more.” – Moe As we here in America approach one of our most sacred high holy days, the internet responded with a torrent of Simpsons/football related links, references and usage. There’s even one for the Super Bowl’s hapless sibling, the Pro Bowl. In addition to that, we’ve a whole bunch of cool fan made stuff, most of which comes from an awesome Reddit collection of a painter who does Simpsons requests, a funny interview with Shearer, a harmless Zombie Simpsons-Super…
Month: January 2014
Quote of the Day
“Daddy has very important work to do; he’s looking through the want ads to find a part time job.” – Homer Simpson “Dad, that’s a gag paper we got at the carnival.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh. No wonder I didn’t hear about Bart being elected World’s Greatest Sex Machine.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, what’s this?” – Barney Gumble “A sneeze guard.” – Moe “Achoo! Wow, it really works.” – Barney Gumble
Compare & Contrast: Marge in Therapy
“Eww, you like the Monkees? You know they don’t write their own songs.” – Girl on Bus “They do so!” – Marge Bouvier “They don’t even play their own instruments.” – Girl on Bus “No! No!” – Marge Bouvier “That’s not even Michael Nesmith‘s real hat.” – Girl on Bus “Ahhhhhhh!” – Marge Bouvier “Kids can be so cruel.” – Dr. Zweig “But it’s true, they didn’t write their own songs or play their own instruments.” – Marge Simpson “The Monkees weren’t about music, Marge, they were about rebellion! About political and social upheaval!” – Dr. Zweig When The Simpsons…
Quote of the Day
“Come on, Bart, you know better than to talk to strangers.” – Tom “For your information, I’m his father.” – Homer Simpson “His father? The drunken gambler?” – Tom “That’s right, and who might you be?” – Homer Simpson
Behind Us Forever: Specs and the City
“This is my pride and joy: I’ve had hidden cameras planted in every home in Springfield. I got the idea from that movie ‘Sliver’, what a delightful romp.” – C.M. Burns If there’s one thing Zombie Simpsons has perfected, it’s taking familiar elements of The Simpsons, blasting away everything that made them wonderful, and then propping up the barely recognizable remains as though they weren’t decrepit garbage. In its own ass backwards way, “Specs and the City” was a tour-de-force of that. Homer actually spent time at the nuclear plant and stopped for a beer at Moe’s when he was done.…
Quote of the Day
“That’s it, he’s out of here!” – Homer Simpson “Homer, we’re the only family he’s got.” – Marge Simpson “I don’t care. This is not Happy Days and he is not the Fonz.” – Homer Simpson “Hey, Mister S.” – Otto
Quote of the Day
“Let’s see, our foreign exchange student Uter has chosen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. . . . But this is just an empty box.” – Principal Skinner “I begged you to look at mine first. I begged you.” – Uter
Quote of the Day
“Hello? Hello? We’re here for the field trip.” – Mrs. Krabappel “Sorry. Sorry. Boy, it’s getting harder and harder to make it here by ten.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Ah, I love these real Saturdays. They’re so relaxing, not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Blank Potato Merchandising Edition
“Why don’t you bring this potato? It’s pretty big.” – Marge Simpson “Mom, you’re always trying to give me potatoes. What is it with you?” – Bart Simpson “I just think they’re neat.” – Marge Simpson Between the internet echoes of last week’s streaming news and the announcement of a, wait for it, Mr. Potato Head Homer, the signal to noise ratio was pretty bad again this week, so it’s once again a shorter than usual Reading Digest. When they announced last year that they were kicking the merchandising into overdrive, they weren’t kidding, and it seems like hardly a…
Quote of the Day
“There’s a few things you could do to help us sell our home. First, whenever you walk in front of your window, could you please wear pants?” – Mrs. Winfield “Hmmm, no.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Krusty’s my hero, how I could I do this to him?” – Bart Simpson “It is a tragedy for all us kids, but Bart, you can’t beat yourself up.” – Lisa Simpson “Yeah, they’ll be enough people to do that for me at recess tomorrow.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I love these lazy Saturdays.” – Homer Simpson “It’s Wednesday, Homer.” – Marge Simpson “Ahh! Work!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, rats. Talk about bad luck. I forgot to wear socks today. Guess I can’t try those on.” – Lisa Simpson “No problem, you can wear the store sock.” – Gil “Eww.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I wonder where all the rats are gonna go?” – Bart Simpson “Okay, everybody tuck your pants into your socks!” – Moe
Smooth Jimmy Apollo on the AFC Championship Game
“And now with his picks for today’s games, the man who’s right 52% of the time, Smooth Jimmy Apollo.” – Brent Gunsilman “Thank you, Bret. Our first game today, Denver and New England, is too close to call.” – Smooth Jimmy Apollo “Oh.” – Homer Simpson “But, if you’re one of those compulsive types who just has to bet, well, I don’t know . . . Denver.” – Smooth Jimmy Apollo “Woo-hoo, Denver, yeah!” – Homer Simpson But don’t lose heart, Patriots fans, because we all know how that ended: When you’re right 52% of the time, you’re wrong 48%…
Quote of the Day
“Lousy German know-it-alls, who are they to say I’m not safe? Oh, what’s the matter with this thing? . . . No problems here.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, yes, and punish Lisa for lying to us.” – Marge Simpson “Alright, young lady, I want you to march yourself directly to the Kwik-E-Mart and get me some chips and a beer. Get a little something for yourself, sweetheart.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Legal and Illegal Streaming Edition
“See that ship over there? They’re rebroadcasting Major League Baseball with implied oral consent, not expressed written consent. . . . Or so the legend goes.” – Homer Simpson The big news this week was the official announcement of the streaming package for The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons. It’s today’s second link, and it sounds like it’ll be pretty cool . . . if you’re one of the few people who’ll be able to get it, as there are an appellate court’s worth of restrictions and hoops to jump through. A young Canadian who got around all that has been rendered…