“What are you doing inside?” – Marge Simpson “Work was hard, so we quit.” – Bart Simpson “What?” – Marge Simpson “Hard work made us quit.” – Lisa Simpson
Category: QotD
Quote of the Day
“Homer, what’s happened to you? All this greediness and lying and shifty lawyers and phony doctors…” – Marge Simpson “Phony doctors? Hello.” – C.M. Burns “Do you know what I’d settle for if it was up to me? Bart’s medical bills and an apology.” – Marge Simpson “And you won’t even get that. Sorry, offer’s expired. I guess we’ll just have to let the jury decide, twelve good men and true. Good day. Smithers, release the hounds.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Hey, boy, how’s the microphone working?” – Homer Simpson “Fine.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hmm, emergency call, gotta go!” – Stern Lecture Plumber “What should we do until you get back?” – Homer Simpson “Ah, put a pan down there.” – Stern Lecture Plumber
Quote of the Day
“Then I just need your five hundred dollar registration fee.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen “Five hundred dollars! . . . Oh, no problem. Would you take an out of state, two-party bad check?” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Bart’s pain is funny. But mine isn’t.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Sunrise! Sunset! Sunrise! Sunset! Sunrise! Sunset! . . . Ahhh! Not to self: stop doing anything.” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“They’re singing, Marge! Why aren’t they killing each other?” – Homer Simpson “Yeah, their guns are right there.” – Bart Simpson “Wait, wait, wait, here comes Lee Marvin. Thank God! He’s always drunk and violent.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“So, Milhouse, it must be a little tough giving up all that glamour and coming back to school, huh?” – Bart Simpson “Quiet! Maybe I can get my citizenship.” – Milhouse’s Stunt Double
Quote of the Day
“Don’t worry, son. They’re going to make sure no one ever falls down this well again.” – Homer Simpson “That should do it.” – Groundskeeper Willie
Quote of the Day
“It must be wonderful to ring in the New Year over and over and over.” – Marge Simpson “Please, kill me.” – T.G.I. McScratchy’s Waiter
Quote of the Day
“Tonight, on Eyewitness News, a man who’s been in a coma for twenty-three years wakes up.” – Kent Brockman “Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?” – Coma Guy “No, she won an Oscar and he’s a Congressman.” – Kent Brockman “Good night!” – Coma Guy
Quote of the Day
“You son of a bitch! . . . Good show!” – Emily Winthrop Happy birthday, Tracey Ullman!
Quote of the Day
“Floor feels a little gritty here.” – Ned Flanders “Yeah, we ran out of floorboards there so we painted the dirt. Pretty clever!” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“We now return to the twenty-seventh annual Krusty the Klown Telethon for Motion Sickness.” – TV Announcer “Timpani! . . . Woo-hoo! I love you people! I love my kids! Poor little guys, so tragic, so nauseous. You should see the bus they came to the studio in.” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“There are three things wrong with my costume. Anybody names those three things will get my hat.” – Mr. Bergstrom “I believe I know the answer.” – Lisa Simpson “What’s your name?” – Mr. Bergstrom “Lisa Simpson.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, go ahead miss Simpson.” – Mr. Bergstrom “Um, one, your belt buckle says State of Texas, but Texas wasn’t a state until 1845.” – Lisa Simpson “Very good.” – Lisa Simpson “Two, the revolver wasn’t invented until 1835.” – Lisa Simpson “That’s excellent.” – Mr. Bergstrom “Three, you seem to be of the Jewish faith.” – Lisa Simpson “Are…
Quote of the Day
“Big shots with their stainless steel lunchboxes. . . . They get donuts?” – Homer Simpson “That’s right. All the colors of the rainbow!” – Donut Guy
Quote of the Day
“It’s a Krusty Kinda Kristmas!, brought to you by ILG, selling your body’s chemicals after you die, and by Li’l Sweetheart cupcakes, a subsidiary of ILG.” – TV Announcer Merry Christmas, everybody!
Quote of the Day
“And, do you drink?” – Merry Widow Insurance Guy “I do enjoy a snifter of port at Christmas.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Smithers! I want my tea!” – C.M. Burns “Doesn’t it bother you that he orders you around like that?” – Marge Simpson “Oh, actually, I value every second we’re together. From the moment I squeeze his orange juice in the morning til I tuck him in at night. He’s not just my boss. He’s my best friend, too.” – Mr. Smithers “Bah! Too hot!” – C.M. Burns “You’re right, sir. It’s scalding me as we speak.” – Mr. Smithers Happy Birthday, Harry Shearer!