Let’s start with the good stuff. Dave and I both laughed when the car hit Bambi. That was funny. Um, then there was the “nipple slip hotline” on Flanders’ speed dial, that was . . . okay. The rest of the episode was so thin on ideas and humor as to be transparent. Clock eating, comedy free sequences include: Long ass traffic scene at the beginning The “suspense” sequences surrounding the witches The “Sideways” moonshine/wine-tasting montage The pointless, yet exposition heavy, trial in the courtroom Moe’s two bizarre scenes, especially the mob one that pushed this tired thing over the…
Year: 2009
Multicultural Sunday Morning
I’m posting this strictly because it cracked me up just now: Batman científico. (via Twitter)
Sunday Preview: “Rednecks and Broomsticks”
Another Sunday is upon us, which of course means there’s a new episode of Zombie Simpsons waiting in the wings to ruin our evening. There’s no promo picture for me to bloody up, but there is a description (courtesy of Simpsons Channel) that we can all point and laugh at: Just as Lisa is about to become involved with a group of practicing Wiccans, they get arrested for witchcraft and Lisa becomes the star witness in their trial. Right, because we’re all looking forward to what sounds like a 22-minute ToH segment gone bad. I’m also quite certain that making…
Quote of the Day
“But order now, supply is limited.” – Superstar Celebrity Microphone TV Commercial “Limited!? . . . Do you have any of those microphones left?” – Homer Simpson “Yeah, a couple.” – Warehouse Guy
Simpsons Sand Couch
“That’s right, Dick. You know this year everyone’s abuzz about one thing, the absence of Mark Rodkin . . . oh wait, there he is.” – TV Announcer Awhile ago we found a guy who’d done elaborate sand renderings of the Simpson family. Now, at a sand sculpting competition in Portugal someone drew the entire family on the couch (via): You can see a few more images at this gallery link for the 2008 festival (when the theme was Hollywood). Awesome.
Crazy noises: Pranks and Greens
“You know before I saw these test results I had you pegged as a drifter.” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor “Wow, a drifter . . .” – Bart Simpson “Lousy sheriff, run me out of town, he’s lost my vote.” – Drifter Bart “Cool.” – Bart Simpson In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and…
Quote of the Day
“I might go mad with fear out there, so Todd, I want you to shoot Daddy if tries to get back in.” – Ned Flanders “(sniffles) Okay, Dad.” – Todd Flanders “Okay.” – Ned Flanders
Reading Digest: The People Have Spoken! Edition
Image modified under Creative Commons license from original by Flickr user Takver. “Now I’m just an ordinary blue collar slob, but I know what I likes on teevee!” – Homer Simpson We have two links this week to long, long lists of ordinary people quoting Simpsons. One was prompted, the other just broke out in a message board. Both of them are heavy on ye olde Simpsons quotes with hardly a mention of Zombie Simpsons. We’ve also got hilarious write-in candidates, Homer’s prayer of thanks, an undergraduate introduction to Simpsons, and lots of excellent usage. Enjoy. Write-ins go beyond none…
Quote of the Day
“Wow. You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.” – Homer Simpson
Get the Money
The numbers in this Fast Company article (via) are the same ones from that hideous USA Today article we linked to a few months ago. None of them are the least bit encouraging for those of us who want to finally see Zombie Simpsons halted. Here are the numbers (that aren’t as down for Zombie Simpsons as they appear): The Simpsons finished the 1989-90 season at #28 in the Nielsen ratings, the first Fox show ever to break into the top 30. Last season, it ranked 83rd. Today the show averages 6.7 million viewers — although it’s the 7th most…
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user brandonink2001. “See Maggie, those silver and blue guys are the Dallas Cowboys. They’re Daddy’s favorite team, and he wants ’em to lose by less than five and a half points. Understand?” – Homer Simpson Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Incidentally, the Cowboys are 12 point favorites over the Raiders this afternoon.
More Simpsons Stained Glass
A while back we posted about an artist named Joseph Cavalieri who makes these surreal and very cool stained glass images with Simpsons motifs. He was nice enough to send us an email with pictures of two new pieces he’s created. If you want to see them up close and personal (and you’re in New York City) there’s a gallery show running until December 20th, directions here. Here’s the first piece, “Funerale di un’Amica (Funeral for a Friend)”: “But you know, my mom says god never closes a door without opening a window.” – Bart Simpson ”No offense kid, but…
Quote of the Day
"C’mon Dad, let’s get out of here." – Homer Simpson "Slow down boy, what’s your hurry?" – Abe "Grandpa" Simpson "This place is depressing!" – Homer Simpson "Hey, I live here!" – Abe "Grandpa" Simpson "Oh, well, I’m sure it’s a blast once you get used to it." – Homer Simpson
Spurlock Update: Schedule Announced
FOX announced their midseason schedule today and the Spurlock special will be airing after a new Zombie Simpsons on Sunday January 10th. (It’s got a whole hour devoted to it from 8:30 to 9:30.) Previously the schedule had been announced (or just assumed) as being January 14th, which is a Thursday. I thought they might be doing a one night only return to Thursday to hit the 20th anniversary on the dot, but I guess not. Incidentally, I’ve never fully understood why, in television circles at least, the premier of “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” doesn’t seem to count. …
Synergy Pines for Its Lost Youth and Innocence
“There has been a shocking decline in the quality and quantity of your toadying, Waylon!” – C.M. Burns Much like last week, this week’s IGN Simpsons “review” was surprisingly long on criticism within the text before giving it a good number anyway. I don’t want to repeat myself too much, but this episode scored a 6.9 when the actual review was mostly negative even before I edited out the synergy. What would it have needed to do to score less than that? True, the tone is still that of a gently cowed subordinate, but the substance of this review is…
Quote of the Day
“Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby, but with him out of the picture, I was free to wallow in my own crapulence.” – C. Montgomery Burns
Zombie Simpsons Ignored by 97.7% of US Population
Last nights exercise in dull was watched by a mere 7.04 million unfortunate souls. That number is the the lowest of the season and lower than any episode ever broadcast in the fall. Even though I know these numbers don’t mean anything it’s still nice to see a really awful one like this. I can’t wait for the winter ratings because if this fall’s numbers are any indicator they are going to be terrible. On the downside Zombie Simpsons won it’s completely meaningless competition with The Cleveland Show giving it a 4-2 lead overall. That’s one less ivory back scratcher…
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user joelogon. “Dad, who’s watching teevee at 3:17am?” – Bart Simpson “Alcoholics, the unemployable, angry loners . . .” – Homer Simpson
Giving This post a Decent Title Would Require More Thought than Zombie Simpsons Devotes to a Whole Episode
Bart is Marge, Marge is Homer, and painfully trite exposition can take up a lot of time if you don’t care in the least about the quality of what you’re doing. I don’t mind pointless meandering narratives from elderly relatives (the holidays are coming up and I’m 100% ready), but, rightly or wrongly, I expect more from $5,000,000 television episodes. Making a teevee audience suffer through a 22-minute after school special about the horrors of being a slacker when they could be doing almost anything else is an outright disgrace. Less unfunny alternatives include waiting for downloads to finish, masturbating…
Crazy Noises: The Devil Wears Nada
“Mr. Simpson don’t sit on that filthy thing one second longer! They’ve given you . . . the key.” – Karl In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “handkerchief”). We’re almost at the expiration date…