“I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there are too many fat children.” – C.M. Burns
Month: December 2012
Quote of the Day
“To slip the surly bonds of Earth and touch the face of God . . . to fly! The dream of man and flightless bird alike.” – Col. Leslie “Hap” Hapablap
Reading Digest: Reminiscing Holiday Edition
“Dear friends of the Simpson family, we had some sadness and some gladness this year. First the sadness, our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to kitty heaven, but we bought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself. Lisa got straight As. And Bart, well, we love Bart.” – Marge Simpson As we’re now at t-minus 11 days and counting to the biggest holiday on the American calendar, the internet’s thoughts are turning to…
Quote of the Day
“Samantha, I’ve always been suspicious of transfer students. Other principals try to unload problem cases that way. Lord knows I do.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Wow, this plankton’s only thirty-three cents!” – Homer Simpson “Um, according to the Mexican Council of Food, this expired two years ago.” – Lisa Simpson “Sure, by their standards, but we live in America.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“And now, what you’ve been waiting for, another long raga by Ravi Shenker.” – Krusty the Klown “Shankar.” – Ravi Shankar “Shankar. Groovy, man.” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, ordinarily I’d say you should stand up for what you believe in, but you’ve been doing that an awful lot lately.” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, you made us march in that gay rights parade.” – Bart Simpson “And we can’t watch FOX cause they own those chemical weapons plants in Syria.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I need something for show and tell!” – Bart Simpson “Just take one of my geodes. . . . The rocks on my desk. . . . No, that’s a trilobite. That’s petrified wood. Bart, that’s a bran muffin!” – Lisa Simpson
Sunday Preview: The Day The Earth Stood Cool
Homer wants a younger, hipper image. So he starts hanging out with Terrence and Emily, his cool new neighbors from Portland, OR. But Marge finds their trendy parenting methods extreme and Bart quickly realizes their son, T-Rex, is super-pretentious. Oh Yay! I’ve always wondered what it would be like if they crossed The Simpsons with Portlandia! No wait, never mind, I’ve never wondered that. Also this episode probably won’t be anything like that, because Portlandia is occasionally funny.
Quote of the Day
“This so called ‘new religion’ is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord’s Prayer forty times, but first let’s pass the collection plate.” – Reverend Lovejoy
Quote of the Day
“Shut up, you little monsters! . . . Hello, I was wondering if you’d like to babysit my little angels.” – Homer Simpson “Sorry, this isn’t Abby. This is her sister. I look after her now.” – Abby’s Sister “No, Bart. Put it down. Put it down, Bart. Bart, put it down.” – Abby
Reading Digest: Movie Reviews Edition
“You know something, Marge? It’s not that tough being a film cricket.” – Homer Simpson This week we both start and finish with Simpsons related movie reviews. In between we’ve got the two big stories that were all over the place, Elvis’s wife disliking the show, a couple of pieces of “aww”-type remembrances of the show (including the first time I’ve ever heard of someone named Julian watching “Homer’s Phobia”), some fan art, a great piece of New York City graffiti, the barest possible mention of the Season 15 DVDs, and a fantastic (and practical) Marge Simpson costume. Enjoy. [Spinoff…
Quote of the Day
Image taken from Wikipedia. “Herman, a very special lady is having her birthday tomorrow.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Ah, the battleship New Jersey!” – Herman “No, you idiot! My girlfriend, Bea.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Although I’m sure I will receive a severe wedgie from my bus mates, I must remind you: we should’ve been at school ten minutes ago. . . . Ah!” – Martin Prince “Uh-oh, better fasten your seatbelts, little dudes.” – Otto “We don’t have seatbelts.” – Lisa Simpson “Uh, well then, just try to go limp.” – Otto
Quote of the Day
“What’s the matter, Moe?” – Homer Simpson “Ah, business is slow. People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn’t for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine.” – Moe “Yeah, things are tough all over.” – Homer Simpson “Increased job satisfaction and family togetherness are poison for a purveyor of mind numbing intoxicants like myself.” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“This is Arnie Pie with Arnie in the Sky, we’ve got big problems on the Springfield Memorial Bridge, people, traffic going way back in both directions. And look out at the corner of Fourteenth and Elm, cause I just dropped my bagel.” – Arnie Pie
Quote of the Day
“I know you like clowns, so I made you this bed. Now you can laugh yourself to sleep.” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th anniversary to “Lisa’s First Word”! Original airdate 3 December 1992.
Quote of the Day
“Our broadcast range is only twenty-three feet, which makes us the most powerful jazz station in the entire US of A.” – KJAZZ Guy
Quote of the Day
“Mom, there’s a weird smell and a lot of cursing coming from the basement, and Dad’s upstairs.” – Lisa Simpson