“An automatic garage door opener makes you feel like you’re working in a futuristic wonder world.” – Frank Ormand
Month: December 2016
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, honey, if it’ll make you feel any better, I’ll destroy something Bart loves.” – Homer Simpson “Hey!” – Bart Simpson “Don’t worry, son, if that bothers you I’ll destroy something Maggie loves.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hope you like it, neighbor! We didn’t have the best tools or all the know how, but we did have a wheelbarrow full of love.” – Homer Simpson “And a cement mixer full of hope and some cement.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“You’re as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.” – Homer Simpson Goodbye, Carrie Fisher. We love you and you knew it.
Quote of the Day
“I can’t get enough of the Babysitter Twins! They arrested the counterfeiters, rescued the President, and made four dollars!” – Janie If you enjoy thrillers and mysteries (especially ones that have sexy results!), check out my good friend Liz Heiter’s latest novel, “Stalked“. Out today wherever fine books are sold (including Amazon which has it for $8 as a paperback or $6 on Kindle).
Quote of the Day
“Hey, why don’t I apply at the nuclear power plant? I hear they pay pretty well.” – Homer Simpson “I don’t know. I heard radiation can make you sterile.” – Marge Simpson “Pfft, now you tell me.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“The fifth grade will now favor us with a scene from Charles Dickens ‘A Christmas Carol’.” – Principal Skinner “Oh, how many grades does this school have?” – Homer Simpson Merry Annual Gift Day, everybody!
Quote of the Day
“Hey, where’d that cool, creepy Santa come from?” – Bart Simpson “Japan. Except over there he’s called Annual Gift Man and he lives on the moon.” – John
Quote of the Day
“Ninety seconds to core meltdown.” – SNPP Computer Voice “Sir, there may never be another time to say: I love you, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, hot dog. Thank you for making my last few moments on Earth socially awkward!” – C.M. Burns Happy birthday, Harry Shearer!
Quote of the Day
“I’m sorry, I can’t divulge information about that customer’s secret, illegal account. . . . Oh, crap, I shouldn’t have said he was a customer. . . . Oh, crap, I shouldn’t have said it was a secret. . . . Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn’t have said it was illegal. . . . Ah, it’s too hot today.” – Cayman Islands Offshore Banker
Quote of the Day
“Well, there’s no easy way to say it kids: God hates us.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, tomorrow night, how about making some of your patented pork chops?” – Homer Simpson “Sure! . . . Oh, dear, I can’t. I’ve got three protest rallies tomorrow.” – Marge Simpson “Twenty million women in the world and I had to marry Jane Fonda.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“And so, as the rat’s milk is returned to the sewers, the circle of life is complete.” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
“Wait a minute, there’s something bothering me about this place. . . . I know! This lesbian bar doesn’t have a fire exit! Enjoy your deathtrap, ladies.” – Homer Simpson “What was her problem?” – Lesbian
Cruelly Bleak Simpsons Lines
“I’m just wondering: what’s the point? Would it make any difference at all if I never existed? How can we sleep at night when there’s so much suffering in the world?” – Lisa Simpson “Well . . . uh . . . come on, Lisa! Ride the Homer horsey! Giddy-up, weeee!” – Homer Simpson The Simpsons always took a pretty dim view not just of human nature, but of human existence generally. Misdeeds are rarely punished, triumphs are rarely recognized, and justice is all but non-existent. After all, if there’s one thing Homer’s learned, it’s that life is one crushing…
Quote of the Day
“Yello?” – Homer Simpson “Marge, please.” – Patty Bouvier “Who’s this?” – Homer Simpson “May I please speak to Marge.” – Patty Bouvier “This is her sister, isn’t it?” – Homer Simpson “Is Marge there?” – Patty Bouvier “Who shall I say is calling?” – Homer Simpson “Marge, please.” – Patty Bouvier “It’s your sister.” – Homer Simpson Happy Simpsons Day, everybody!
Dear Matt Groening, Are You Really Okay With Video Slot Machines?
“Once something has been approved by the government, it’s no longer immoral!” – Reverend Lovejoy Ever since Bartmania back in 1990, FOX has been keen to use licensed merchandise (often of dubious quality) to pad its bottom line on the Simpsons. This can be alarm clocks that eat batteries and can’t be plugged in, drink trays that misquote the show, or a seemingly endless number of “collectible” dolls and figurines. Tchotchkes and t-shirts may be soulless consumerism at its most blatant, but they’re also relatively harmless. The same cannot be said of video slot machines. Video slots are (as those of…
Quote of the Day
“Pipe down, sister. I gotta book a new act for tonight! Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was really Liza Minnelli.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Holy jumping Caesar’s catfish! My H has been stolen! Oh, that’s how people know it’s a Honda! What’s the point of having a Honda if you can’t show it off?” – Superintendent Chalmers Happy 20th Anniversary to “Lisa’s Date with Density”! Original airdate: 15 December 1996.
Behind Us Forever: The Nightmare After Krustmas
“Let’s just agree that the commercialization of Christmas is at best a mixed blessing.” – Lisa Simpson “Amen.” – Gary Coleman Annual or near annual Christmas episodes were never a hallmark of The Simpsons. The premier episode was a Christmas special, but that was the last time the show did a Christmas episode until Season 7’s “Marge Be Not Proud”. That five season gap has never been repeated. The show went back to the tinsel well in Seasons 9, 11, 12, 13, 15, 17, 18, 22, 23, 25, 26, and now again in Season 28. (And I might have missed one…