“They didn’t approve my idea. They said it was unfeasible.” – Bart Simpson “It is unfeasible to resurrect the dead, Bart. And even if the Three Stooges were alive, I doubt they’d want to hang around with you.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, yeah. I guess they’d probably want to be with their families or something, huh?” – Bart Simpson
Year: 2018
Quote of the Day
“Women always have trouble with the wall . . . can’t ever seem to find the door.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“It’s a tool that every home handyman needs! It’s a jigsaw! It’s a power drill! It’s a wood turning lathe! It’s an asphalt spreader! It’s sixty-seven tools in one! How much would you pay for a machine that can do all this!” – TV Announcer “One thousand dollars!” – Homer Simpson “Oh, don’t answer yet!” – TV Announcer “Oh, sorry.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Patty, Selma, what a pleasant surprise.” – Homer Simpson “Whaddya know, he’s wearing pants.” – Patty Bouvier “I owe you a lunch.” – Selma Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“Here’s your scientifically selected career….” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor “Architect.” – Janie “Insurance salesman.” – Chuck “Salmon gutter?” – Ralph Wiggum “Military strongman!” – Milhouse van Houten “Systems Analyst . . . Systems Analyst . . . Systems Analyst . . .” – Martin Prince “Systems Analyst.” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor “Alright!” – Martin Prince
Quote of the Day
“A million dollars? Thanks, Bart! I owe you one.” – Milhouse van Houten “Uh, that’s a post-dated check, remember. Don’t cash it till the year ten thousand.” – Bart Simpson “Okay.” – Milhouse van Houten
Quote of the Day
“Prohibition? Pfft! They tried that in the movies and it didn’t work.” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“So, what’re you in for?” – Bart Simpson “I moved here from Canada and they think I’m slow, eh?” – Canadian Boy “I fell off the jungle gym and when I woke up I was in here.” – Leg Up Girl “I start fires.” – Leg Up Boy
Quote of the Day
“Oh yes, we won! Â We won! Â We won! Â Um, unfortunately, since I bet on the other team, heh . . . uh, we won’t be going for pizza.” – Chief Wiggum
Makeup Quote of the Day
“No, I will not pay you five hundred dollars for sex!” – Marge Simpson “Aw, come on, Marge! You’re getting something in return, and I’m getting a bowling team. It’s win-win!” – Homer Simpson “It’s sick! And I don’t have that kind of money to spend on sex.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“What happened?” – Bart Simpson “Aw, don’t worry about that. You’re just finished, that’s all.” – Krusty the Klown “Finished?” – Bart Simpson “It happens all the time. That’s show business for you: one day you’re the most important guy who ever lived. The next day you’re some schmoe working in a box factory.” – Krusty the Klown “I heard that.” – Box Factory Guy
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Bart, it’s not like I’m asking you to give blood for free. That would be crazy. You’re a little young to understand this, but when you save a rich man’s life, he showers you with riches! Don’t you know the story of Hercules and the Lion?” – Homer Simpson “Is it a Bible story?” – Bart Simpson “Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time there was a big, mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out. But nobody was strong enough. So, they got Hercules. And Hercules used his mighty…
Quote of the Day
“As I’m sure you remember, in the late 1980s, the U.S. experienced a short-lived infatuation with Australian culture. For some bizarre reason, the Aussies thought this would be a permanent thing. Of course, it wasn’t.” – Evan Conover “I know those words, but that sign makes no sense.” – Lisa Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Forgiveness, please.” – The Little Guy
Quote of the Day
“Hi, you’ve reached the Cory Hotline, four-ninety-five a minute. Here are some words that rhyme with Cory: glory . . . story . . . allegory . . . Montessori.” – Cory Hotline
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Next I’ll tell you the origin of Maggie’s pacifier!” – Homer Simpson “What origin? We get ’em for a dollar ninety-five down at the Safeway.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Sorry, baby, date’s over.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Makeup Quote of the Day Part Deux
“Third notice . . . Final notice . . . Some guys are coming?” – Marge Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Heck, I can’t decide without the pictures.” – SNPP Employee
Quote of the Day
“I don’t think I really captured the eyes.” – Bart Simpson “Bart, if you have a failing it’s that you’re always demanding perfection. . . . If you have a failing.” – Milhouse van Houten