“Now let’s take a look at a young Charles Bronson’s brief stint replacing Andy Griffith on The Andy Griffith Show.” – Before They Were Famous Host “Where’s Otis? He’s not in his cell.” – Not Don Knotts “I shot him.” – Charles Bronson “Well, that’s-what!?” – Not Don Knotts “Now I’m going down to Emmett’s Fix It Shop to fix Emmett.” – Charles Bronson Happy birthday, Mike Reiss!
Category: The Simpsons
Quote of the Day
“I’m sure he’ll over us a fair reward. . . . And then we’ll make him double it!” – Marge Simpson “Huh?” – Homer, Bart, & Lisa Simpson “Well, why can’t I be greedy once in a while?” – Marge Simpson Happy birthday, Julie Kavner!
Why Zombie Simpsons Is Unkillable
“Is it my imagination, or is TV getting worse?” – Lisa Simpson “Enh, it’s about the same.” – Homer Simpson NOTE: I’m in the process of shopping an expanded version of “Zombie Simpsons: How the Best Show Ever Became the Broadcasting Undead” to publishers. I don’t know whether or not it will ever make it to store shelves, but if it does, the following would be one of the new chapters. (If you end up reading it again in a bookstore a year from now, try to look surprised.) I’m publishing it today in light of Alf Clausen’s firing, which…
Alf Clausen Fired
“So that’s it, after twenty years: so long, good luck?” – Kirk van Houten “I don’t recall saying good luck.” – Cracker Factory Manager Last night, Variety broke the news that longtime Simpsons music guy Alf Clausen will no longer be working on Zombie Simpsons: Clausen told Variety that he received a call from “Simpsons” producer Richard Sakai that the company was seeking “a different kind of music” and that he would no longer be scoring the longtime Fox hit. First of all, condolences to Clausen. Getting fired is rarely fun, and getting fired by the boss’s assistant, over the phone, from…
Zombie Simpsons Gains YouTube Stardom
“Hey, wolfie! Put down that hors d’oeuvre. It’s time for the main course.” – Groundskeeper Willie No sooner do I decide to take a few days away from the internet than a popular YouTuber drops a 30 minute video that cites this blog and promptly racks up 900,000 views and counting. (My thanks to everyone who alerted me to it via Twitter and email.) The whole thing is worth watching: Excellent. For starters, my thanks to John Walsh/Super Eyepatch Wolf for the kind mentions and the link to Zombie Simpsons. More importantly, I heartily endorse this event or product’s analysis of…
Quote of the Day
“Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper Babysitting Service. – Receptionist “Hello, this is Mr. . . . Sampson.” – Homer Simpson “Did your wife just call a second ago?” – Receptionist “No, I said Sampson not Simpson.” – Homer Simpson “Thank God! Those Simpsons, what a bunch of savages! Especially that big, ape father.” – Receptionist Rest in peace, June Foray.
Simpsons Has Warped My Brain
“Marge, this is Andre.” – Patty Bouvier “Hello.” – Andre “I think you two would make a lovely couple.” – Patty Bouvier “My husband is still alive!” – Marge Simpson “Oh. Thank God. I hope he pulls through.” – Patty Bouvier “Not me.” – Andre I’m sitting in a hospital waiting room right now while my Dad has (long overdue) hip replacement surgery. It’s about as low risk as getting cut open and having the top of your femur cut off comes, so I’m not really worried, but I can’t get the above quote out of my head. Like so…
Rock Us, Dr. Zaius
“I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z!” – Troy McClure This afternoon, Vulture published an oral history of Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off!, featuring interviews with Alf Clausen, David S/X Cohen, Chris Ledesma, Bill Oakley, Josh Weinstein, and Mark Kirkland. (Dana Gould too, but, you know, why?) The whole thing is well worth a read, but I thought I’d highlight a few pieces: Oakley: Our goal when we took over was to copy season three. Season three of The Simpsons — which we didn’t work on by the way — was the best…
Quote of the Day
“Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday, overlooked middle child. Happy birthday to me.” – Lisa Simpson Happy birthday Yeardley Smith!
Ad Hoc Beer Marathon
“Hey, Homer, you busy?” – Lenny “Yes.” – Homer Simpson I used to do these with more preparation, but it’s Saturday, I’m sick and tired of being responsible, and my fridge has a lot of beer in it. May the Lord bless and keep the VLC random play function… The Last Temptation of Homer – Bart’s parking line prank is one of his best. Especially since the punchline is the psychological frailty of the faculty. – Look how bored Burns is when Charlie describes the fake emergency exit. He’s not even mad yet, and he’s always kinda mad. – That…
Thursday Evening Cartoons: The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase
“Big Daddy’s trademark calling card. See, it’s right here inside the skull.” – Skinny Boy Note: Surgery yesterday went about as well as having someone deliberately cut you open and drill holes in you can go. My left collar bone has now been re-attached to my shoulder using ligaments from a cadaver, which means that it is technically a Zombie Shoulder. So if I suddenly start liking it when celebrities walk on screen from nowhere, I will blame my left (or sinister) hand. In the meantime, I’ve got a lot of couch time ahead of me, and since I am…
Scrounging for Praise
“This is your great uncle Chet. Go ahead, Chet, tell her what you do.” – Homer Simpson “I run an unsuccessful shrimp company.” – Chet Simpson “Oh. But you run it, right?” – Homer Simpson “Oh yeah.” – Chet Simpson I’m aware that there was a new Zombie Simpsons this week, but I’m out here in the desert helping a friend put a roof on his (second!) kickass, off-the-grid solar house. That’s it in the above picture, and as you can probably guess by the remoteness, internet access here is spotty at best. So I’m probably not gonna get to…
Sunday Preview: A Father’s Watch
Marge turns to a series of parenting experts for advice when she becomes worried that Bart is destined for failure; Homer decides to open a trophy store; Grampa gives Bart a watch coveted by Homer. Oh joy. An episode of zombie simpsons where inter-generational issues arise. Excuse me while I get a pen so I can jot down the issues that are similar to the ones I have with my father. Oh wait, never mind, I am not watching this crap. Have a day.
Sunday Preview: 22 for 30
Bart goes from delinquent with detention to the star basketball player at Springfield Elementary! I don’t watch a lot of sports analysis on tv, but I do enjoy the occasional ESPN 30 for 30. I don’t know where this is going tonight, or why a short, fat, yellow kid from the suburbs is on it, but here we are. Also apparently the mafia is the involved, so we got that going for us too.
Quote of the Day
“I’m sorry, did you just call me a liar?” – Principal Skinner “No, I said you were fired.” – Superintendent Chalmers “Oh. That’s much worse.” – Seymour Skinner
Sunday Preview: The Cad and the Hat
When Bart betrays Lisa, he has to deal with his guilt – literally. Meanwhile, Springfield is in awe when Homer is revealed to be a chess savant. Sure, why not. Homer didn’t pass remedial science in high school, but he can play chess. Paton Oswald has decided to put his fingerprints on this murder scene, so hopefully that works out for him. Also apparently he is voicing Bart’s manifestation of guilt, which means we are probs going to hear a lot of guilty horn music. Well, you will, I am not watching.
Quote of the Day
“Only who can prevent forest fires? . . . You pressed ‘You’, referring to me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is you.” – Robotic Smokey the Bear Happy 20th Anniversary to “Mountain of Madness”! Original airdate 2 February 1997.
Quote of the Day
“And here’s our TV next to the mirror. It looks like we have two.” – Homer Simpson “Wow . . . two . . .” – Bart & Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Aunt Selma, this may be presumptuous, but have you ever considered artificial insemination?” – Lisa Simpson “Boy, I don’t know. You gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot. . . . I knew that.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“What’s going on outside?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, it’s just a mob war. Go back to sleep, honey.” – Marge Simpson “Forgiveness, please.” – The Little Guy Happy 20th Anniversary to “The Twisted World of Marge Simpson”! Original airdate 19 January 1997.