“It’s the last day of school, Milhouse. Try to show some dignity.” – Bart Simpson After a couple of weeks of poorly feigned enthusiasm and mild, mathematically illiterate criticisms, IGN got back on the horse for the season finale. This is exactly the kind of mindless raving I expect from wholly owned subsidiaries. As always, I’ve edited out the synergy. Enjoy: May 18, 2009 – “Coming to Homerica” was a great an appropriate way to end season 20 because it was everything The Zombie Simpsons should be is: smart dumb and funny boring. The series has often taken used to…
Month: May 2009
Quote of the Day
“What advantages does this motor car have over, say, a train — which I could also afford?” – Homer Simpson
The Vapid End of Season 20
“Alright, three whole months of spaghetti-Os and daytime TV.” – Otto I realized two things watching “Coming to Homerica” last night. 1. It is nearly impossible to neatly summarize many of these episodes. The promotional stuff for last night’s talked about Homer forming his little vigilante group, but that tired idea was barely on screen for two minutes. In actuality the episode was a shop worn and timid take on immigration with Norwegians substituted in for Latinos, but how do you write a coherent summary of that? The plot is an inch deep and a mile wide, it amounts to…
Quote of the Day
“Cool, she’ll be a freak!” – Bart Simpson “Bart!” – Marge Simpson “We can stick her in a trailer, drive around the south, and charge two bits a gander.” – Bart Simpson
Sunday Preview: “Coming To Homerica”
Yeah, yeah — we already did a combined preview for the last three episodes of Season 20. Still, tonight’s the season finale, and that in and of itself bears repeating. We turn to SNPP once again for a description of “Coming to Homerica,” complete with friendly reminders that this episode is likely to retread old ground: When Ogdenville’s residents abandon the town after an economic collapse triggered by tainted Krusty-brand veggieburgers, Homer forms his own vigilante group no, wait, that’s “Homer the Vigilante” his own security agency no, that’s “Poppa’s Got a Brand New Badge” his own border patrol to keep the Ogdenvillians…
Quote of the Day
“Mmm… unprocessed fish sticks.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“C’mon Homer. You can’t spell ‘obsequious’ without I-O-U.” – Selma Bouvier
Friday Link Dump – Fugitive Edition
“Springfield Cops are on the take But what do you expect for the money we make? Whether in a car or on a horse We don’t mind using excessive force ” – Theme to Cops: In Springfield This week there’s a man on the run in New Zealand, some talk about Hawaiian shirts and a mythical TV Guide survey that only exists on websites that are not TV Guide‘s. Also a different blogger named Charlie agrees with me. Cool. New Zealand fugitive finds infamy – A Kiwi is on the run. I’ll let the BBC explain: William Stewart, or “Billy” as…
Quote of the Day
“Why jerk my neck around like a goon when Tyranno-Vision decides what I should look at?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“He’s going to kill Rod and Todd too! That’s horrible… in principle.” – Bart Simpson
Where’s Waldo?
This is one of my favorite Simpsons sight gags, if only because it’s a delightful twofer of visual hilarity – the citizens of Springfield crammed into an impossibly small bunker and the infamous bespectacled man-child hiding amongst them. Zombie Simpsons, in all of its soul-sucking mediocrity, repeated a Waldo gag in “Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder.” Instead of cleverly blending him into the background though, he blatantly walks across the screen, which isn’t nearly as funny as making you work a bit for the laugh.
Quote of the Day
“Is it okay?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, the important thing is that we survived.” – Bart Simpson
Synergy Flunks Math
The IGN review for this week’s four part Zombie Simpsons clusterfuck is the first one they’ve put up since I’ve been doing these synergy posts that isn’t a rave. To be sure, it’s pretty gentle criticism, but it’s not a glowing review and that’s a first. What puzzles me, however, is the fact that the episode still garners a rating of 6.2. 6.2! When the review considers only one of four segments to be good, shouldn’t that be more like a 2.5, or, if you’re rounding up, a 3? What, precisely, is the point of having a scale go from…
Quote of the Day
“Why is that man in pink?” – C.M. Burns “Oh uh, that’s Homer Simpson, sir. He’s one of your boobs from Sector 7-G.” – Mr. Smithers “Simpson, eh? Well judging by his outlandish attire he’s some sort of free thinking anarchist.” – C.M. Burns “I’ll call security, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Excellent. Yes, these color monitors have already paid for themselves.” – C.M. Burns
Yeah, We Didn’t Get It Either
Clearly the switch from three commercial breaks to four commercial breaks didn’t help. None of the four segments had enough time to tell a story (even with gratuitous point-by-point narration), so we were treated to truncated endings, more nonsensical exposition than usual (including that bizarre Jodie Foster soliloquy) and general mess of drawn out sight gags. Thank Jebus there’s only one left before we’re free for the whole summer. Woo-hoo! Anyway, Zombie Simpsons appears to still have enough appeal to struggle above six million people every week, so I’m setting the over/under at 6.45 million viewers. Update: The…
Quote of the Day
“As a natural enemy I don’t know why I should care, but the information pertaining to America’s colonial period that you’ve just received is erroneous.” – Martin Prince “So you’re saying . . . ” – Bart Simpson “A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth has a better chance of passing this test than you do.” – Martin Prince
Quote of the Day
“But first, a look at the local holiday that was called ‘distasteful’ and ‘puerile’ by a panel of hillbillies . . . Whacking Day!” – Kent Brockman Happy Whacking Day everybody!
Useless Sanctimony
“You’ve got a date with the Xerox machine.” – Bart Simpson I didn’t want to do this, but I think I have to so . . . fuck it. While I was looking for links this week, I came across new blog dedicated to funny cartoon quotes. I thought it was a neat idea so I clicked around a little. Unfortunately, while I was reading the page of Troy McClure movies, something jumped out at me:* ….such educational films as “Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly,” and “Here Comes the Metric System!” ….such fishing films as ‘Cast Out’ or ‘The Reel…
Quote of the Day
“Mom, what if there’s a really bad, crummy guy who’s going to jail but I know he’s innocent?” – Bart Simpson “Well Bart, your uncle Arthur used to have a saying, ‘Shoot ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out.’ Unfortunately one day he put his theory into practice; it took seventy-five federal marshals to bring him down, now let’s never speak of him again.” – Marge Simpson
Friday Link Dump – Canine Surgery Edition
“I love animals; I’ve spent my life saving them and they can’t thank me. Well, the parrots can, but anyway let’s see what’s wrong with this little fella.” – Springfield Veterinarian Our first item this week is a dog that needed emergency surgery because of Simpsons merchandise. Given the sheer amount and amazing variety of stuff that’s been produced over the years (and the years still to come), anthropologists working a thousand years from now may conclude that this “The Simpsons” was a religious cult based around icon worship. Also, we’ve got some more about the stamps (which came out…