“I hope you all saved room, because I made your favorite dessert: store bought snake cakes, both kinds.” – Marge Simpson
Month: June 2013
Quote of the Day
“Looks like your uncool Dad scored tickets to Hullabalooza!” – Homer Simpson “Bart, these look real.” – Lisa Simpson “Check the authenticator spot.” – Bart Simpson “This is an authentic Hullabalooza ticket. For authentic refreshment, eat Clark bars. And for totally outrageous class rings, it’s Jostons; go Jostons.” – Authenticator Spot
Reading Digest: The Homer Edition
“Dad?” – Bart Simpson “What is it, boy?” – Homer Simpson “I thought your car was really cool.” – Bart Simpson “Thanks, boy. I was waiting for someone to say that.” – Homer Simpson I put Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week up on Twitter yesterday because some things are too much fun to wait for Friday. We’ve got three links to it, and if you’re anywhere near Buttonwillow, California tomorrow, you can see it in person. In addition to that, we’ve got two links involving the old Simpsons arcade game, a molester-y Simpsons van, some excellent fan made stuff,…
Quote of the Day
“A massive tanker has run aground on the central coastline, spilling millions of gallons of oil on Baby Seal Beach.” – Kent Brockman “Oh, no!” – Lisa Simpson “It’ll be okay, honey, there’s lots more oil where that came from.” – Homer Simpson
Margical History Tour Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“Remember, Bart, I mean, Dances in Underwear, we take the white man alive.” – Lisa Simpson “Alright, Thinks Too Much, it shall be so.” – Bart Simpson As per usual with Zombie Simpsons commentaries, the actual episode is incidental to the conversation. In this case, it’s one of those three part story episodes, the first is about Henry VIII, the second is about Sacajawea, and the third about Mozart. They mostly discuss books and movies related to the actual historical figures rather than what’s going on here, but that’s to be expected since the actual episode is a parade of…
Quote of the Day
“Please don’t ruin this for me, Bart. I think he’s starting to like me.” – Lisa Simpson “Milhouse likes you.” – Bart Simpson “Oh, please, Milhouse likes Vaseline on toast.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Brockman, I need your help. I’ve got to become a great anchor so I can show up my sister.” – Bart Simpson “Sister, huh? I’ve got a sister, miss big shot CNN Washington correspondent. Pfft! Well, she’s not the boss of me! Come in.” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
“After the supermarket, we’ll go to the video store, grab a Krusty burger, and head for the arcade.” – Bart Simpson “Bart, Grampa’s a kindly old man who trusts us. Are you sure it’s right to take advantage of him?” – Lisa Simpson “Lis, in these crazy, topsy-turvy times, who’s to say what’s right or wrong? But right now, my gut’s telling me: bleed Gramps dry.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hand over all your money in a paper bag!” – Not Krusty “Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“Egad, a monster!” – Settler #1 “It’s a horrible fiend!” – Settler #2 “It’s some sort of land cow.” – Settler #3
Reading Digest: Saturday Supplemental
“After sixteen glorious seasons, the Green Bay faithful bid farewell to Brian Bartlett Starr.” – TV Announcer “Hmm, I keep thinking I’m forgetting something.” – Homer Simpson “Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!” – Green Bay Faithful As I went to post yesterday’s Reading Digest, I had that nagging feeling in the back of my head that I was forgetting something. As is often the case, it was there because I was indeed forgetting something. In this case, two somethings that were e-mailed to me and which managed to get lost in the shuffle: Tales From The First Decadian Simpsonites – From…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Simpson, wanna trade belts?” – Jimbo Jones “Well, not really, cause yours is just a piece of extension cord.” – Bart Simpson “Hey, dude, he’s ragging on your cord.” – Kearney “Get him.” – Jimbo Jones
Reading Digest: Foreign food Edition
“Well, I haven’t talked it over with the family, but I think we’d all like a free dinner at Americatown.” – Homer Simpson This week we’ve got a couple of reports about the real Duff in Floreda, but we’ve also got people getting bootleg Duff in South America, a Spanish restaurant chain with an illegal Simpsons theme, and a Belgian chain with a legal one. In addition to that, we’ve got a couple of lists, George Meyer, Mike Reiss selling shit to NBC, and a new punk album named after the show. Enjoy. ‘Krasty Burger’ hits Fuengirola on the Costa…
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back, but we’ve also expanded into other important areas: literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world domination.” – Homer Simpson “World domination?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, that might be a typo.” – Homer Simpson “Mental note: the girl knows too much.” – Homer’s Brain
Quote of the Day
“Attention families, this is Mother Goose, the following cars have been broken into.” – Mother Goose Happy birthday Tress MacNeille!
Quote of the Day
“Homer, what’s with you? You’re talking during a coffee break.” – Lenny “Yeah, usually you just take the box of donuts into the bathroom.” – Carl
Quote of the Day
“What are they saying?” – Milhouse van Houten “I’m not sure.” – Bart Simpson “I thought you said you could read lips.” – Milhouse van Houten “I assumed I could.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, what’s the answer to number seven?” – Ralph Wiggum “Sorry, Ralph, that would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.” – Lisa Simpson “My cat’s name is Mittens.” – Ralph Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“What’s that?” – Homer Simpson “That is the rarest Gummy of them all: the Gummy Venus de Milo, carved by Gummy artisans who work exclusively in the medium of Gummy.” – Candy Convention Guy
Quote of the Day
“Movie For a Rained-Out Ballgame now returns to Dyan Cannon, Troy McClure, and the Muppets in the 1977 film, The Muppets Go Medieval.” – TV Announcer