“I was twenty-four years old with a beautiful girlfriend and a job with a future. . . . Hey, you’re supposed to be listening to my story!” – Homer Simpson “I thought it was over. You had a problem turning blades, you overcame it, the feel good story of the year.” – Bart Simpson So the 25th anniversary of “Bart the Genius” was this week, which gave lots of people another chance to go back and talk about all the things the show has done. Most notably, this included internet pop culture factory The A.V. Club, which had a “Simpsons…
Month: January 2015
How Lisa Simpson Became Her Own Substitute
By Roisin Peddle Forgiveness, please, for some pointless nostalgia right off the bat. Just like The Simpsons, I turned 25 this year. Being a kid without ‘the channels’ [i.e. cable] in 90s Ireland turned me into discerning Simpsons fan. For one thing, our state broadcaster, RTE, was ridiculously behind in broadcasting ‘new’ episodes. In 1998, I remember enjoying ‘Bart’s Friend Falls in Love’ for the first time. The episode was already six years old; so as a result I didn’t see anything from the newer seasons until well after I’d developed my critical faculties. Secondly, RTE never cut anything out…
Quote of the Day
“Adults blow.” – Nelson Muntz “Yeah, just look at ’em over there.” – Bart Simpson “Smoking their cigarettes.” – Milhouse van Houten “Drinking their coffee.” – Lisa Simpson “Scratching their big butts.” – Bart Simpson “Your metabolism will change someday too, young man.” – Principal Skinner
Compare & Contrast: Hypnotic Personality Changess
“What about Clemens?” – C.M. Burns “Sir, he’s in no condition to play.” – Mr. Smithers A person suddenly changing their whole personality basically only happens in fiction. It can be the steel screw who becomes a softy, the wallflower gaining rock solid confidence, even the idiot who’s suddenly smart. The usual way to do this is with a bonk on the head, which generally comes complete with a second one near the end to put everything back the way it was. (NOTE: Brains don’t actually work that way, please do not attempt at home.) Sometime in the very early…
Quote of the Day
“Let’s see now, what do you folks have here? . . . Hmm, a crusty burger, that doesn’t sound too appetizing. What kind of stew do you have today?” – Bush the Elder “Uh, we don’t have stew.” – Krusty Burger Order Sign “Sir, why don’t you just have the cheeseburger.” – Secret Service Ray “That’s really more of a weekend thing, Ray.” – Bush the Elder
Quote of the Day
“Coming soon, it’s Truckasaurus: The Movie, starring Marlon Brando as the voice of John Truckasaurus.” – TV Announcer “You crazy car, I don’t know whether to eat you or kiss you.” – Not Marlon Brando “Celebrity voice impersonated.” – TV Announcer
Quote of the Day
“He’s a good boy now, and he’s getting better. And sometimes, even the best sheep stray from the flock and need to be hugged extra hard.” – Marge Simpson “That’s exactly the kind of crapola that’s lousing him up.” – Homer Simpson
Behind Us Forever: Bart’s New Friend
“Then me and my friend were about to press it, but the man said not to press it, but we pressed it anyway! And we ran and we hid in a giant tire, oh yeah, and my other friend was already there!” – Homer Simpson In yet another desperate bid for attention, Zombie Simpsons has once again hitched its cart to a more currently successful person. In this case, it’s Judd Apatow (who wrote a couple of good episodes of The Critic back in the day), who dusted off an old spec script he wrote twenty odd years ago. The premise…
Quote of the Day
“So I says, blue m&m, red m&m, they all wind up the same color in the end.” – Homer Simpson
Sunday Preview: Bart’s New Friend
Homer is hypnotized at a circus into believing he is ten years old. Bart has fun with him at first, making him his new best friend and accomplice. However, it becomes a pain when the hypnotist dies and the family is unable to turn Homer into his old self again So I guess this was originally written by Judd Apatow more than 2 decades ago. On just that fact alone I would be intrigued, but now that Al Jean has had his greasy mitts on it, I believe I won’t be all that inclined to switch on FOX tonight.
Quote of the Day
“Alright, young’uns, bath time, cover up your eyes and drop your britches. Who wants wax?” – Cletus
Quote of the Day
“You’re looking at Adolf Hitler’s personal limousine! It’s roomier than Bonnie & Clyde’s death car, and was the first automobile to come with fahrvergnugen.” – Rich Texan “Wow, it’s fuhrerriffic!” – Bart Simpson
Reading Digest: Roots Edition
“I am the wondrous wizard of Latin! I am a dervish of declension, and a conjurer of conjugation, with a million hit points and maximum charisma!” – Martin Prince This seems to be the week for rare, higher quality stuff, and while there are fewer links than usual below, what we lack in quantity we make up for in quality. There are three or four that would be a Link of the Week most of the time, including the Latin language link, the six eras of the Simpsons link, the 9 minute video about Homer, and the one about movie plots. And…
Quote of the Day
“You know, Marge, Bart’s really gonna like my birthday present this year. It won’t be like those shoe trees I got him last year, or the shelf paper I bought him for Christmas. I’ll buy his love yet.” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Al Jean!
Quote of the Day
“Tonight we are here to commemorate our glorious society’s fifteen-hundredth anniversary. And, in honor of this momentous occasion, we’re having ribs.” – Number One Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer the Great”! Original airdate 8 January 1995.
Quote of the Day
“Ah, these uniforms are a godsend. Horseplay is down forty percent, youthful exuberance has been cut in half, high spirits are at an all time low.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Alright, these are our new family security rules: be home before dark, and make sure you’re not followed. Lock all doors and windows.” – Homer Simpson “And don’t take candy from strangers.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, they’re only human.” – Homer Simpson
Behind Us Forever: The Man Who Came to Be Dinner
“Are you going to need us tonight?” – Kang “I had ballet tickets! Not that they’ll do much good now.” – Kodos It’s now clear that Al Jean and David Mirkin (who co-wrote), and David Silverman (who directed), would much rather be working on Futurama than Zombie Simpsons, and I don’t blame them. Like various Star Treks, that show gave its writers and directors a functionally unlimited amount of creative leeway. Need to make fun of something? Make up a new planet or a new species or a new anything and there you go. Zombie Simpsons, on the other hand,…
Quote of the Day
“Marge, we’re missing the chili! Less artsy, more fartsy.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, I happen to like handicrafts much more than stuffing my face.” – Marge Simpson “Fine, I’ll come find you when I’m ready to stop having fun.” – Homer Simpson
Sunday Preview: The Man Who Came To Be Dinner
The Simpsons get on the wrong ride on a trip to the Dizzneeland amusement park and are transported to Kang and Kodos’ home planet, where Homer finds himself on the locals’ menu. Happy New Year everyone. Let us begin 2015 with what has to be one of the most outlandish plots I can remember outside of the understandably far-fetched THOH stories. I don’t know what else to say except “Sorry but there’s profit to be had.”