“Counterfeit?” – Homer Simpson “Yeah, see the hologram’s missing, and there’s no such team as the Spungos, and, finally, these seem to be printed on some sort of cracker.” – Super Bowl Ticket Guy “Stop eating our tickets!” – Homer Simpson
Month: January 2015
Reading Digest: Suggested Search Edition
“I suggest a lengthy, inefficient search, at the taxpayers’ expense, of course.” – NASA Scientist “I wish there was an easier way.” – NASA Director It’s a very short Reading Digest this week. The WordPress “Simpsons” tag wasn’t working, those Auschwitz images I linked last week went kinda big, plus all the chatter about Elon Musk meant the signal to noise ratio went to hell again. We’ve got some usage, some more play reviews, a couple of cool fan doodles, and the first few instances of Bacon Day cards, so it’s not like it’s completely barren. Things should smooth out…
Quote of the Day
“This year’s topic is, Resolved: The national speed limit should be lowered to fifty-five miles per hour.” – Mrs. Blumenstein “Fifty-five? That’s ridiculous! Sure, it’ll save a few lives. But millions will be late!” – Homer Simpson “Why don’t you take con.” – Mrs. Blumenstein
Quote of the Day
“I haven’t been in a play since high school, and I thought it would be a good chance to meet some other adults.” – Marge Simpson “Sounds interesting.” – Homer Simpson “You know, I spend all day alone with Maggie, and sometimes it’s like I don’t even exist.” – Marge Simpson “Sounds interesting.” – Homer Simpson
Compare & Contrast: Famously Smart Guest Stars
“I wanted to see your utopia, but now I see it is more of a Fruitopia.” – Stephen Hawking “I’m sure what Dr. Hawking means is-” – Principal Skinner “Silence! I don’t need anyone to talk for me, except this voice box.” – Stephen Hawking Celebrities voicing themselves has long been one of the most widely acknowledged hallmarks of Zombie Simpsons. In truth, of course, the show had been using self voiced celebrities almost since the beginning. What changed was the way those voices were used. In Season 2, Ringo Starr voices himself, but responding to decades old fan mail,…
Quote of the Day
“Evening, Moe.” – Eddie “Want some pretzels?” – Moe “No, thanks, we’re on duty. Couple beers’d be nice, though.” – Eddie “That’ll be two bucks, boys. . . . Just kidding.” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“If you like good food, good fun, and a whole lot of crazy crap on the walls, then come on down to Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag.” – Moe
Behind Us Forever: The Musk Who Fell to Earth
“Eww, this place has got old man stink!” – Hitman “Oh.” – C.M. Burns “Don’t listen to him, sir. You’ve got an enchanting musk.” – Mr. Smithers I never bothered to watch the Lady Gaga episode a second time, so this comparison may be a little looser than I think it is, but the Elon Musk episode sure felt a lot like it. A mega famous person arrives out of nowhere in Springfield (Gaga in a giant train, Musk in a spaceship that lands in the Simpsons backyard), crazy shit happens for a little while, then the mega famous person…
Quote of the Day
“There’s no way I can beat this girl. She’s the Jack Nicklaus of the pageant circuit.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, I don’t know that she’s as attractive as Jack Nicklaus.” – Marge Simpson “I meant because they both win all the time, Mom.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, well, yes, that’s what I meant too.” – Marge Simpson
Sunday Preview: The Musk Who Fell To Earth
When inventor Elon Musk arrives in Springfield and befriends Homer, the two revolutionize the nuclear plant. But the ambitious Musk soon has Mr. Burns seething and Burns tries to have him removed, forcing Homer to make a tough decision. While I find the real life Elon Musk to be a relatively interesting person, I have absolutely zero desire to see him interact with zombie Homer. At least they didn’t try to rope him and SpaceX into the insane Kang and Kodos episode from a few weeks back.
Quote of the Day
“Look at those poor saps back on land with their laws and ethics. They’ll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“That’s sorta nice. What are you in for?” – Homer Simpson “Atmosphere.” – Harmonica Prisoner
Reading Digest: Cranky with the Media Edition
“Wow, a bustling metropolitan newsroom, funneling scoops from all over the globe.” – Lisa Simpson “Hi, are you interested in a subscription to the Shopper?” – Sales Dude “Low introductory rates.” – Sales Lady “No, please, you gotta help old Gil. What’s it gonna take to keep you on the phone? Dance for you? But you wouldn’t even see it. Alright, I’m a dancin’!” – Gil This week, I make only tangentially relevant complaints about several linked articles: lazy sourcing, inappropriate pageview whoring, and two instances of recycled content that sort of, somehow had something to do with the show.…
Quote of the Day
“Uh, Mom, could you loosen my blanket a little? Dad tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’ll stay here, but I’m gonna think about products I might like to purchase. Ooh . . . Mmm . . . Ooh, I don’t have that.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“There, there, Homer, you’ll find a job. You’ve caused plenty of industrial accidents, and you’ve always bounced back.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Patty, Selma, I’m sorry.” – Homer Simpson “He’s hugging us, what do we do?” – Selma Bouvier “Just close your eyes, and think of MacGyver.” – Patty Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“You’re my last hope. I’ve never reached out to you before, but my wife is in your hour of need. Your help could make all the difference in the world.” – Homer Simpson “Okay.” – Fat Tony “See, boss? I told you that ad in the church bulletin would pay off.” – Louie
Quote of the Day
“Homer, did you polish your head in the Shine-O-Ball-O?” – Al “No.” – Homer Simpson “Okay, then.” – Al
Quote of the Day
“You’re the miracle boy with the healing hands, arghhn’t ya?” – Captain McAllister “Nah, I don’t do that anymore.” – Bart Simpson “So I guess I’ll have to see someone else about my crippling depression.” – Captain McAllister