“Congratulations, I am the Emperor.” “Yeah? And I’m Clobbersaurus!” – Homer Simpson
Month: August 2015
Reading Digest: Marriage Through Simpsons Edition
“There certainly are a lot of stains on the ceiling.” – Marge Bouvier “Marge, I’m sorry. I wish I could afford a better place.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, I’d be lying if I said that this is how I pictured my wedding day. But you are how I pictured my husband.” – Marge Bouvier “I am?” – Homer Simpson “Well, you may not look like Ted Bessell, but you’re just as nice.” – Marge Simpson A cultural touchstone as broadly known and deeply loved as The Simpsons is bound to bring people together, and someone wearing small pigs for cufflinks at…
Quote of the Day
“Now, here’s what we do. Tomorrow morning, when Allison comes out of her house, we spray her with the hose, soaking her from head to toe! Leaving us relatively dry.” – Bart Simpson “Relatively?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, there’s bound to be some splashback.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Do you come with the car?” – Homer Simpson “Oh, you, hehehe.” – Model “Do you come with the car?” – Some Guy “Oh, you, hehehe.” – Model
Quote of the Day
“But, Marge, you deserve a vacation. It’s a chance for you to clean up after us in a whole other state.” – Homer Simpson
Tuesday Evening Cartoons
“Bart, take a letter. Dear Mr. Burns, I’m so glad you enjoyed my son’s blood, and your card was just great.” – Homer Simpson Liver spots are one of those undeniable signs of aging that remind us and others that the robust younger years are far in the past. Mr. Burns, being very far indeed from his days as a barefoot boy with cheek of tan, has quite a lot of them, something The Simpsons liked to have fun with, most famously when Marge catches Burns coming out of the shower in “Brush with Greatness”. There’s another liver spot joke in Season…
Quote of the Day
“And now, for an emergency announcement from the mayor.” – TV Announcer “People of Springfield, because of the epidemic, I have cancelled my vacation to the Bahamas. I shall not leave the city . . . hey, you, get that steel drum out of the, um, mayor’s office.” – Mayor Quimby “Sorry, mon.” – Bahamanian Drummer
Quote of the Day
“Okay, search party, before we set out, let’s take a moment to humor the children. Kids, your father’s gonna be just fine! Okay, everybody, put on your corpse handling gloves, we’ve got two frozen bodies buried somewhere on this mountain.” – Ranger “Did you hear that, Lis? Dad’s gonna be just fine.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Go ahead, drool all you want! You can’t hurt that finish! Now, rainwater, that’ll strip it right off. Aww, I shouldn’t have said that.” – Gil
Quote of the Day
“Excuse me, Mr. Szyslak, have you ever considered selling your home?” – Marge Simpson “What? No! Why? What? What? What have you heard? Are you implying I’m in some sort of financial trouble?” – Moe “No.” – Marge Simpson “Well, I am. Lemme have that card.” – Marge Simpson
Reading Digest: Global Calls for Cancellation Edition
“First of all, his accuser is a very shady character. That waiter, Mr. LaCoste, not only wasn’t born in Springfield, he wasn’t even born in this country!” – Blue Haired Lawyer “From now on, you tell me everything!” – Lionel Hutz This week we’ve got two different foreigners calling for the show to be sent to a farm upstate, and both are agreeably brutal towards Zombie Simpsons. In addition to that, we’ve got reports from that LA art show, the play has expanded its reach again, there’s some excellent fan art, another person’s going to try and watch them all, and…
Quote of the Day
“What’s everyone so worked up about? So there’s a comet, big deal. It’ll burn up in our atmosphere and whatsever left will be no bigger than a chihuahua’s head.” – Homer Simpson “Wow, Dad, maybe you’re right.” – Bart Simpson “Of course, I’m right. If I’m not, may we all be horribly crushed from above somehow.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“At the town meeting he mentioned that he watched Comedy Central. I made sure to note that, as it seemed quite unusual.” – Melvin van Horn Have fun replacing Jon Stewart, Viacom.
Quote of the Day
“So the last time you saw your father was six years ago?” – Bigger Brothers Lady “Yeah, he left me out on the curb for the ash man. What a revolting development.” – Bart Simpson “You brave little soldier.” – Bigger Brothers Lady
Quote of the Day
“You’ll feel better knowing your money’s in the hands of professionals.” – Marge Simpson “Ook ook, are you folks ready to go ape?” – Bank Teller “Mom?” – Lisa Simpson “A professional in ape mask is still a professional.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Welcome to our video honeymoon. We’re using the video camera Cousin Doug gave us, and the video cassette Homer gave us.” – Selma Terwilliger “Hey, and after we watch this, we can tape over it!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, do you think maybe my power plant killed those ducks?” – C.M. Burns “There’s no ‘maybe’ about it, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Excellent.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“And we thought they knew how to rock in Shelbyville!” – Nigel Tufnel “Boooo!” – Crowd “But nobody rocks like . . . Springfield!” – Derek Smalls “Yaaaayyyyy!” – Crowd