“Goodbye, Homey!” – Marge Simpson “Goodbye? Where’s my clean underwear?” – Homer Simpson “Check the dryer!” – Marge Simpson “How often should I change Maggie?” – Homer Simpson “Whenever she needs it!” – Marge Simpson “Marge! Marge! How do I use the pressure cooker?” – Homer Simpson “Don’t!” – Marge Simpson
Month: August 2015
Quote of the Day
“The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there.” – Ralph Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Sushi? Hey, maybe this is just one of those things you hear on the playground, but isn’t that raw fish?” – Bart Simpson “As usual, the playground has the facts right but missed the point entirely.” – Lisa Simpson
Reading Digest: What Do You Want, It’s August Edition
“Lisa, don’t sit in front of that telly like a fly stuck in a toffee. It’s a great big world out there!” – Shary Bobbins “Been there, done it.” – Lisa Simpson Very short Reading Digest this week on account of the fact that there’s always a lull at this time of year because people with more sense than me are outside and away from their keyboards. We do have some love for Season 2, some extremely crappy merchandise, some excellent usage, some more Bart art, and an Icelandic Homer, so it’s not all bad. Enjoy. The Dark Past Of…
Quote of the Day
“I wasn’t sure I was doing the right thing, but then God himself told me I should seek a new path.” – Homer Simpson “Oh, really?” – Reverend Lovejoy “Yeah. He appeared before me in a dream and I knew that was special cause I usually dream about naked . . . Marge.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Well, I used to own a successful car company. My strategy was giving ’em Japanese names. You guys ever drive a Tempura hatchback?” – Herb Powell “Oh, yeah.” – Bum #1 “Sure.” – Bum #2 “Yeah, I got hit by one of those.” – Bum #3
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Simpson, want to trade belts?” – Jimbo Jones “Well, not really, cause yours is just a piece of extension cord.” – Bart Simpson “Hey, dude, he’s ragging on your cord.” – Kearney “Get him!” – Jimbo Jones
Quote of the Day
“Oh, dear, we’re in serious trouble here. We’re just going to have to cut down on luxuries.” – Marge Simpson “You know, we’re always buying Maggie vaccinations for diseases she doesn’t even have.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Homer, you didn’t tell me Mr. Burns went broke and lost the nuclear power plant.” – Marge Simpson “Now, I can’t remember every little thing that happens in my day.” – Homer Simpson “You told me about that candy bar you found three times!” – Marge Simpson “You found a candy bar?” – Bart Simpson “Oh, yes, gather round, my son, and I shall tell you a tale.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Then, the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy, and that’s why it was the best summer ever.” – Ralph Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“We love you!” – Rod & Todd Flanders “Uh, please don’t hug me. It sickens me.” – Bart Simpson
Reading Digest: Music and Food Edition
“In fact, if you play ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’ backwards, you’ll hear a recipe for a really ripping lentil soup!” – Paul McCartney We’ve got a whale of a Reading Digest this week, including two elaborate links to music from before rock achieved perfection in 1974 and two people making food from the show, out of this world space age moon waffles and little meat loaf men. In addition, we’ve got quite a bit of fan art, some of it very elaborate, a Groening interview from 1990, a very creepy old Micky Mouse that kind looks like Homer, and much more.…
Quote of the Day
“You know you’re not supposed to go in there. What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Wow, Mom, I never pictured you as any kind of authority figure before.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Don’t you think you’re spending too much time with Ned? Your family needs you too.” – Marge Simpson “Oh, of course you’d say something like that, Marge, you’ve hated Ned for years! In fact, you wanted to bash his head in with a pipe.” – Homer Simpson “That was you!” – Marge Simpson “Love, Marge, don’t hate. Love.” – Homer Simpson
Character, Story, and A One Syllable Punchline
“Hello, Bart. Now, you know the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie, don’t you, son?” – Judge Moulton “Maybe.” – Bart Simpson There’s a great exchange near the beginning of the trial in Season 2’s “Bart Gets Hit By a Car”. Bart has just taken the witness stand, covered in fake bandages and sitting in an unnecessary wheelchair. The judge asks if he knows the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie. He replies with a nervous “maybe”. This is an understandably intimidating situation for a 10-year-old. Sitting at the lawyer’s table are Homer and…
Quote of the Day
“Otto, did you know there’s a small child inside your bus?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Oh, good thing you warned me. I was on my way to Mexico.” – Otto
Quote of the Day
“I’m attracted to another woman! What am I going to do?” – Homer Simpson “Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction. Talk to the woman, and you’ll realize you have nothing in common.” – Barney Gumble “Barney, that is so insightful. How’d you come up with that?” – Homer Simpson “It was on one of these bar napkins.” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Ooh, lost a few. Well, there’s plenty more where that came from.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Maude, these new finger razors make hedge trimming as much fun as sitting through church.” – Ned Flanders