“Oh, Smithers, I was wrong to play God! Life is precious, not a thing to be toyed with. Now take out that brain and flush it down the toilet.” – C.M. Burns “Sir, his family might appreciate it if you returned the brain to his body.” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, come on! It’s 11:45!” – C.M. Burns
Month: October 2016
Quote of the Day
“Okay, everybody, let’s see some big smiles! Just relax and let the hooks do their work.” – Ned Flanders “What the hell are you smiling at?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Now, kids, instead of candy I thought I’d serve an array of healthy, fresh fruits.” – Marge Simpson “Ohhh.” – Kids “Fruit is nature’s candy.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“It’s some sort of hideous monster. . . . Aww, isn’t that cute? He’s trying to claw my eyes out.” – Ned Flanders
Quote of the Day
“Uh, Mr. President, sir? People are becoming a bit confused by the way you and your opponent are, well, constantly holding hands.” – Not George Stephanopoulos “We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I’d like to hear it.” – Kang
Quote of the Day
“But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds! . . . Oh, I’ve wasted my life.” – Comic Book Guy
Quote of the Day
“We offered you paradise. You would’ve experienced emotions a hundred times greater than what you call love, and a thousand times greater than what you call fun. You would’ve been treated like gods, and lived forever in beauty. But, now, because of your distrustful nature, that can never be.” – Kang “For a superior race they really rub it in.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’ve given out my share of bad reviews.” – Homer Simpson “The only bad review you gave was to a slice of pizza you found under the couch.” – Daphne Beaumont “It lost some points cause it had a Hot Wheel on it.” – Homer Simpson
Sunday Preview: Trust But Clarify
Lisa and Bart investigate Krusty’s suspicious new “Krustaceans” candy. Meanwhile, Homer wants a promotion at the nuclear plant and asks Marge to help him dress the part, and news anchor Kent Brockman struggles to find his feet in the changing media world. Dan Rather apparently decided to be part of this episode as himself. I am sure that could be taken as some sort of indicator, but I am too lazy and drunk to think about it.
Quote of the Day
“Help! Please help me!” – Groundskeeper Willie “Willie, please, Mr. van Houten has the floor.” – Principal Skinner “I for one would like to see the cafeteria menus in advance, so parents can adjust their dinner menus accordingly. I don’t like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day.” – Kirk van Houten
Quote of the Day
“The chair? Oh, how come they only do crucifixions during sweeps?” – Homer Simpson “Snake played lacrosse at Ball State University.” – World’s Deadliest Executions Announcer
Behind Us Forever: Treehouse of Horror XXVII
“No! No, let me explain! Every Friday evening after work Mr. Burns undergoes a series of medical treatments designed to cheat death for another week.” – Mr. Smithers I’ve been staying with friends in Arlington, VA this week and doing the D.C. tourist thing in Our Nation’s Capital while a constant loop of “Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington” plays inside my head (with a side order of “Amendment to Be“). That left watching another lifeless Zombie Simpsons Halloween special pretty low on my priority list. But watch it I did, and it was, well, lifeless. At the risk of repeating…
Quote of the Day
“Naturally I can’t pay you much of a reward because I’m strapped for cash. . . . As you can see, this old place is falling apart.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“But I’m sure that once girls get to know the real you, you’ll get plenty of dates. Next question.” – Lucy Lawless
Quote of the Day
“That’s damn fine coffee you’ve got here in Twin Peaks. And damn good cherry pie.” – Not Kyle McLaughlin “Brilliant! . . . I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Boy…must…die!” – Homer Simpson “I love you, Dad!” – Bart Simpson “D’oh! . . . Dirty trick.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Will I ever see you again?” – Female Nuclear Plant Employee “Sure, baby. Next meltdown.” – Male Nuclear Plant Employee
Sunday Preview “Treehouse of Horror XXVII”
In this annual Halloween-themed episode, Mr. Burns holds a Hunger Games-style contest in which the children of Springfield battle each other. Also, Lisa’s imaginary friend becomes jealous of her real friends, and Moe tells Bart that the bar patrons are really covert agents. When I was a kid, THOH was a close to Halloween as possible. This 2 week out crap is a crock. Why even do it? No one would notice if you stopped kicking the corpse of what was (albeit 20 years ago) a holiday institution for people my age. Also it sounds like it is going to…
Quote of the Day
“Alright, Lisa, if you don’t want lamb chops, there’s lots of other things I can make, chicken breast, rump roast, hot dogs…” – Marge Simpson
Compare & Contrast: The Family Moves Away from Springfield
“You took a new job in a strange town without discussing it with your family?” – Marge Simpson “Of course not. I wouldn’t do that! Why not?” – Homer Simpson “We have roots here, Homer. We have friends and family and library cards. Bart’s lawyer is here.” – Marge Simpson The most obvious option for doing a Compare & Contrast for “The Town” would be to a travel episode that’s actually coherent, say, “The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson” or “Bart vs. Australia”. These kinds of stories and jokes work better if the family has an actual reason…