“I did always want to go to college. But fate stood in the way.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, sign this application and you’re a shoe in.” – Guidance Counselor “That dog has somebody’s ham! This I gotta see!” – High School Homer
Month: October 2016
Quote of the Day
“Amber Dempsy.” – Pageant Contestant #1 “In the same week, she was Pork Princess and Little Miss Kosher.” – Pageant Contestant #2
Quote of the Day
“Somehow, I just never made it to the big time.” – Moe “Why not?” – Homer Simpson “Cause I got knocked out forty times in a row. That plus politics. You know, it’s all politics.” – Moe “Lousy Democrats.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Basic ceremony’s twenty bucks, here’s your license. Be sure to get this punched every time. The tenth wedding’s on the house!” – Shotgun Pete’s Receptionist “Hey, this marriage is gonna last forever!” – Homer Simpson “Haha, no matter how many times I hear that, it always makes me laugh.” – Shotgun Pete’s Receptionist Doris Grau would’ve been 92 today. Happy birthday.
Quote of the Day
“It’s so unfair! Just because he’s different…” – Homer Simpson
Behind Us Forever: The Town
“Hey, ma, I’m on TV!” – Drunk #1 “Hey, where’s that weather chick?” – Drunk #2 “Ooh, this is some wicked party!” – Drunk #3 “Hey, have you seen Sully?” – Drunk #4 Zombie Simpsons has settled into its rut well enough that they have a “travel” episode pretty much every season. This year, they went to Boston, though in a break from tradition they also had the family move there for six minutes of screen time. Other than that weirdness, it was a very typical travel episode: a few real things and people got renamed, everything was pretty nice,…
Quote of the Day
“Fat Tony sent me over to pick up the goods.” – Delivery Guy “Right in here, my man.” – Bart Simpson “Hey, kid, you look good with that cigarette. Kinda sophisticated.” – Delivery Guy “Son, I’ll never doubt you again.” – Homer Simpson
Sunday Preview “The Town”
Homer plans a family “hate-cation” trip to Boston in an attempt to show Bart that Boston is a terrible city. I guess Homer catches Bart rooting for a football team that is not Homer’s favorite, so it is time to crap all over Boston the way only zombie Homer can. Maybe this time they will spring for the bus with bathrooms, unlike the time Homer hated on a major US city 19 YEARS ago. But I digresss.
Quote of the Day
“Students, I want you to be on your best behavior for this carefully choreographed media event. Now, this means there is to be no wising off, no face making, and no grass eating. This means you, Ralph.” – Principal Skinner “Yes, sir.” – Ralph Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Ah, natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Homer, where’s the dog?” – Marge Simpson “I tied him up out back.” – Homer Simpson
Compare & Contrast: Marge Gets Jealous
“Lurleen, we’re gonna have to cut you off. We’re getting some kind of grinding noise on the track.” – Hicksville U.S.A. Recording Producer NOTE: I will be at Classic Simpsons Trivia in Brooklyn tonight. If you’re there, feel free to look for the tall, gumpy white guy in this t-shirt and say hello. “Friends and Family” provided an embarrassment of riches for Compare & Contrast material. This is a partial list of topics I considered: – The family going to live with Burns the same way Bart did in “Burns’ Heir” – In the original, Bart had to be convinced to…
Quote of the Day
“Homer Simpson’s on the phone.” – Woman “Tell him I went out.” – Man “He needs you to help Ned Flanders.” – Woman “Ned Flanders is in trouble!?” – Man
Behind Us Forever: Friends and Family
“I want to go on the yard work simulator!” – Bart Simpson The official synopsis for this week’s episode of Zombie Simpsons: Mr. Burns’ search for a clan to play his virtual-reality family leads him to hire the Simpsons, except for Homer, since Burns intends to play the father. With nothing to do, Homer befriends the new next-door neighbor, a woman who eats, drinks, thinks and acts like him. A more honest synopsis: Burns goes to a therapist, who then dies for no apparent reason. At the funeral, which the Simpsons attend because reasons, Burns realizes no one loves him.…
Quote of the Day
“You ducks are really trying my patience! . . . But you’re so cute.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“Can you see them?” – Marge Simpson “I can see Lisa, but it might be a starfish.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“And I want a bike, and a monkey, and a friend for the monkey…” – Ralph Wiggum “You’re not gonna start any fires, are you?” – Hosey the Bear “At my house we call them Uh-Ohs.” – Ralph Wiggum Happy (one day late) Birthday Mike Scully!
Quote of the Day
“For this week only, we’re cutting ticket prices in half!” – Scratchy
Compare & Contrast: Burns’s Childhood Trauma
“Wait, you forgot your bear! A symbol of your lost youth and innocence!” – Papa Burns First, a brief update: I have been pedaling around the Midwest for a couple weeks now. After six days on the road, I departed my home state of Michigan on a ferry to Wisconsin, then went south through Chicago, across Indiana, and made it into Ohio last Saturday. For the last few days I’ve been staying with Mad Jon and his wife here in Cleveland. The most obvious mistake I made in planning this trip was to massively over-estimate how much free time I would…
Quote of the Day
“Kids, I won’t be home tonight so I’m leaving you some low-cal microwaveable TV dinners.” – Marge Simpson