Quote of the Day

“I want to meet the first female stealth bomber pilot. During the Gulf War she destroyed seventy mosques and her name is Lisa too!” – Lisa Simpson “I want to see some birds get sucked into the engines . . . rare ones.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“We get to see the Leader pass by!” – Homer Simpson “We toil in the fields and he rides around in a Rolls-Royce?” – Lisa Simpson “Yes, it would but nice if he’d buy American, but what are you gonna do?” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Honey, we don’t need to drive four-hundred miles to clean animals. You can stay right here and give the dog a bath. Or trim the cat’s nails.” – Marge Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Gavin, honey, help mommy pick a cereal. How ’bout Alph-Alphabits.” – Divorcee “Those suck! I hate this store!” – Gavin “But, sweetheart, mommy-” – Divorcee “I hate you, too! I want to live with one of my dads!” – Gavin

Quote of the Day

♬”When the weight of the world has got you down and you want to end your life Bills to pay, a dead end job, and problems with the wife… But don’t throw in the towel, cause there’s a place right down the block Where you can drink your misery away…”♬

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Homer!” – Marge Simpson “That’s my name!” – Homer Simpson “When I asked you if that dummy was to fake your own death you told me no.” – Marge Simpson

Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day

“I guess guys like us just can’t get a break. Well, at least I can’t sink any lower . . . Come back, diaper! Come back! . . . Hi, ma!” – Barney Gumble

Quote of the Day

“I think we’ve heard enough about Larry Burns for one evening.” – Marge Simpson “Why? It’s not like anything interesting happened to anyone else today?” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“I thought you were just a marketing gimmick.” – Lisa Simpson “There was a time when that was true. But now, I am so much more!” – Senor Ding-Dong Happy Birthday John Swartzwelder!

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Aw, give up, home boy, there’s a six stroke limit.” – Bart Simpson “I know. I can still make this for five.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“As the wife of the minister, I’m privy to a lot of sensitive information . . . and here it is. Marge’s husband doesn’t earn much, and the family’s a mess! And, quite frankly, I think she . . .” – Helen Lovejoy “Let the record show that the witness made the Drinky-Drinky motion.” – Blue Haired Lawyer Happy birthday, Maggie Roswell!

Quote of the Day

“Hey, Bart, I hope there are not hard feelings.” – Fat Tony “Get bent.” – Bart Simpson “I deserve that. Look, I know we let you down, but me and the boys, we still think you’ve got a big future in racketeering and extortion.” – Fat Tony “Sorry, Fat Tony. I used to think your gang was cool, but now I’ve learned that crime doesn’t pay.” – Bart Simpson “Yeah, you’re right.” – Fat Tony Happy birthday, Joe Mantegna!