“All these new superheroes suck. None of them can hold a candle to Radioactive Man.” – Bart Simpson We’ve seen a pretty hefty increase in traffic around here since Season 20 finally went off the air, so I’m going to explain just what these “synergy” posts are all about. IGN is a wholly owned subsidiary of FOX that publishes “reviews” of each new Zombie Simpsons episode, usually on the Monday after it’s broadcast. (They published early this week because they got an advance copy from their paymasters and wanted to add whatever little they could to the promotional momentum.) To…
Month: September 2009
Spurlock Update: Music & Tired Notions
As part of his Simpsons special our old friend Morgan Spurlock has apparently been contacting different musical groups to perform the theme. From metro.co.uk: Oscar-nominated director Morgan Spurlock has recruited a cult UK jazz act to work on his new film – by recording the theme to The Simpsons. Mercury Prize-nominated group Portico Quartet, currently touring village halls in Somerset, were asked to record the tune for Spurlock’s film, to mark the cartoon’s 20th anniversary. The band, who made a living by busking after leaving college, are among a number of musicians to provide music for the film Apparently we’re…
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, what nineteenth century figure was nicknamed ‘Old Hickory?’” – Ms. Hoover “I don’t know. You?” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, if you’d bothered to do the assignment, you’d know the answer is… ‘The Battle of New Orleans.’ I mean, ‘Andrew Jackson.’” – Ms. Hoover “Well, you’re earning your eighteen grand a year.” – Lisa Simpson
Crazy Noises: Homer the Whopper
“So where can we shoot this picture? We need a city that has a nuclear reactor and a gorge and can guarantee us the full cooperation of city officials.” – Movie Executive #2 “I’ll check Variety.” – Female Movie Executive “Wow, look at that ad! Alright this place must be hot, they don’t need a big ad or even correct spelling.” – Movie Executive #2 “I agree with that logic.” – Movie Executive #1 In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy…
Quote of the Day
“Oh, you’re the bee’s knees baby. I missed you bad.” – Abraham Simpson “Were you talking to me, Grampa?” – Marge Simpson “Umm… yes?” – Abraham Simpson “Eww…” – Marge Simpson
Poor Seth
“Your life long dream was to run out on the field during a baseball game, and you did it last year. Remember?” – Marge Simpson Last night I came across something in a news feed. I had already known that Seth Rogen was the writer of last Sunday’s Zombie Simpsons, but I didn’t know that it was some sort of attempt at self-actualization. AP Television writer Lynn Elber, stating this was a dream of Rogen’s, quotes him as saying “As a writer it always just seemed like the Holy Grail…. …I can die a happy man now.” I hate to have…
Zombie Simpsons Rocked by Family Guy Spinoff
Ahh, the sweet cleansing feeling of numbers. Zombie Simpsons scored the lowest season premier in its history last night, inflicting itself upon a mere 8.21 million people. The Cleveland Show, premiering directly afterwards, increased the ratings by more than a million people (to 9.42). (Family Guy itself checked in at 10.17 million.) There are at least a million Americans out there who’ve become so turned off by Zombie Simpsons that they didn’t even watch it while waiting for the latest from Seth MacFarlane. Excellent. For historical comparison sake, here are the last five season premiers of Zombie Simpsons: Season 16…
Quote of the Day
“Oh brilliant, a cash settlement. I could have figured that out, you buttoned-down maggot!” – C. Montgomery Burns “You have any cream?” – Lawyer “Oh yes, of course, where are my manners?” – C. Montgomery Burns
Picked Up Right Where It Left Off
“Go ahead, try and grab some flab.” – Homer Simpson Season 21 picked up pretty much where Season 20 left off, in the darkest center of a comedy black hole from which nothing can escape. It hit all the usual Zombie Simpson notes: recycling plots and jokes, filling time with humor free “action” sequences, giving Homer a new job, and having him act bipolar. In this particular instance it was a wretched cross of “Radioactive Man” and “King of the Hill”, only it was actually worse than that because it was so openly aping Entourage that it mentioned one of…
Then and Now
“Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool!” – Bart Simpson Yesterday, all-star commenter D.N. said: I mean, in the show’s golden age, Homer’s wackiness was channelled through displays of infantile happiness – giddily chasing the dog with the puffy tail, joyously fetching his giant foam cowboy hat and airhorn, caressing his half-eaten, mould-ridden giant hoagie even after it made him deathly ill, etc. There was a definite sense of sweetness about Homer back then – you really did gain affection for him in spite of his offensive characteristics. Alas, for about a decade now, Homer’s default “wacky” setting has been rage –…
Quote of the Day
“Now here’s a film that will turn you into a vicious, soulless killer. Enjoy.” – C.M. Burns Season 21 starts tonight, find your happy place and remember: there are still good and decent things in the world, just not on FOX Sundays at 8.
“Insane Clown Poppy” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“Sorry Fat Tony, I used to think your game was cool. But now I’ve learned that crime doesn’t pay.” – Bart Simpson “Yeah, you’re right.” – Fat Tony This is a terrible episode. As is often the case in Season 12 there’s a mildly coherent idea, Krusty has a daughter he didn’t know about, that degenerates into incoherence when Homer and Krusty have to break into a mob summit meeting to steal back a violin that they mob had because . . . ah hell, you can’t even summarize this episode without babbling on like an idiot. You know what…
Quote of the Day
“Grampa, how’d you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?” – Lisa Simpson “I don’t know…” – Abraham Simpson
Friday Link Dump – Screw Season 21 Edition
“Ladies and gentlemen, behold your new god!” – Mr. Smithers The internet has been producing a mind numbing amount of Season 21 agitprop this week, you will find none of that drivel here. Instead we’ve got fan tributes, Wolf Blitzer exposing himself on national television, a neat compilation of real life actors who might play Simpsons characters, one piece of excellent usage/citation, and an upcoming gossip book about The Simpsons that an editor desperately needs to revise. Enjoy. The 7 Creepiest Simpsons Fan Tributes – I don’t think creepy is really the right word here, though some of them are…
Quote of the Day
“Now this is made from a space age fabric developed especially for Elvis, sweat actually cleans this suit.” – Corpulent Cowboy Salesman
Zombie Bart
Hey look, another relevant t-shirt with a delightful portmanteau for a name: “Zombart.” You can even buy it from Single Second for twenty-eight whole Canadian dollars. Officially, it’s billed as a tribute to “both Zombies and our childhood,” but really it’s another indicator of the public’s increasing awareness of shitty, shitty Zombie Simpsons. We will prevail, DHS readers. Have patience.
Sunday Preview: “Homer the Whopper”
Oh goodie! Fox has answered our prayers by releasing a nearly 2-minute preview of Season 21’s opener, “Homer the Whopper.” Near as I can tell, it’s only available on iTunes, but if you’re a Zombie Simpsons fan, you won’t want to miss this. There’s jerkass Homer in spades, some unfunny talk about Bart’s thyroid problem, a Lindsay Naegle-esque movie studio executive, and vomit. If this is an accurate taste of what’s in store for the foreseeable future, my only mature, reasonable response is this: That is all.
Bonus Quote of the Day
“Please hold on to the hand rail. Do not spit over the side.” – Voice Phil Hartman would’ve been 61 today. Happy birthday.
Quote of the Day
“Marge, try to understand. There are two kinds of college students: jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.” – Homer Simpson
Spurlock Update: Promotional Bullshit
Morgan Spurlock was at some FOX promo event and was briefly interviewed about the Simpsons special. You can watch all two minutes and fourteen seconds of it here. There’s not much in the way of news, it’s mostly just him being excited. He did say he’s watching all the episodes though, at chunks of 5-6 per day. I’d be fine with that through about Season 9 and then they’d have to put me on suicide watch. Oh, and since it’s hosted by the always lame TV.com you’ll have to turn off any adblocking software you may be using in order…