“I love you Homie. Mmmm. Heh heh heh. I don’t need her at all anymore.” – Homer Simpson’s Brain
Month: September 2009
Quote of the Day
“I can’t believe Krusty is really gone.” – Bart Simpson “Don’t worry son. I’m sure he’s up in heaven right now laughing it up with all the other celebrities. John Dillinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin…” – Homer Simpson “… (sighs) I wish I were dead.” – Homer Simpson
Pornography Monday
“Not those peanuts, the ones at the bottom.” – Homer Simpson Internet Rule #34 states that if it exists, there will be porn of it. I’ve known that rule for a long time and so I was utterly unsurprised to find out that there are lots and lots of drawings of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and the rest of Springfield getting it on. But my lack of surprise doesn’t mean that I’m not impressed by the variety, enthusiasm and sheer imagination of some of these search terms. homer and marge fucking marge simpson sucking barts dick bart and marge porn…
Quote of the Day
“Mr. Hutz, do you know you’re not wearing any pants?” – Judge Snyder “What? Ahhh!” – Lionel Hutz
Quote of the Day
“All the years I’ve lobbied to be treated like an adult have blown up in my face.” – Lisa Simpson
Saturday Morning YouTubage
For no particular reason other than I found it when doing the link dump yesterday and it’s much too cool not to be its own post:
Quote of the Day
“Well boy, you won. So I’m going to live up to my side of the agreement. Here’s your turtle, alive and well.” – Homer Simpson
Friday Link Dump – TV Sucks Edition
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flicker user Barbara L. Hanson. “It’s just hard not to listen to TV, it’s spent so much more time raising us that you have.” – Bart Simpson My Google alerts lit up this week as the internet ponders the upcoming fall television schedule, mentions of the new season of Zombie Simpsons are numerous. I have linked to not a one of them because, really, who gives a fuck? No excellent usage this week, but we do have someone else who thinks teevee sucks, a German election, a badass piece of Bart Simpson jewelry…
Quote of the Day
“Hello, I’d like the Department of Missing Babies.” – Homer Simpson “Please hold.” – Receptionist ♫ Baby come back / Listen baby, you can blame it all on me / I was wrong and I just can’t live without you ♫ – Hall & Oates, “Baby Come Back” (sobs) – Homer Simpson Loyal Stonecutter’s note: What a fucking champ of a gag. They really don’t write ’em like they used to.
“Homer vs. Dignity” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“Well, according to Eternity magazine the feeling of guilt has been linked to the neurotransmitter gamephenomene. Dow Chemical is developing a minty gel which will eliminate excess guilt, but, unfortunately it won’t be on the market for another six months.” – Lisa Simpson This episode has long been notorious amongst connoisseurs of the decline and fall of The Simpsons for the scene where Homer is raped by a panda. Why is Homer in a position to get raped by a panda? Because Mr. Burns is paying him to humiliate himself. Why is Mr. Burns doing that? Because this show is…
Spurlock Update: French Pitch
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Morgan Spurlock is presenting the “Simpsons” conference at Mipcom in Cannes, France next month. Groening and Al Jean will also be there for 20th anniversary shenanigans. There’s nothing about him doing any filming for the special, maybe he can find someone who puts anti-freeze in their wine?
Quote of the Day
“Don’t let Krusty’s death boy get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that.” – Homer Simpson “Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow.” – Homer Simpson (awkward silence) “Well, good night.” – Homer Simpson
Simpsons Alumni Update: Yeardley Smith
“What’s so funny?” – Marge Simpson “Oh, uh, I was just thinking of a joke I saw on Herman’s Head.” – Lisa Simpson This has been noted elsewhere, and I didn’t get around to watching it until last night, but Yeardley Smith had a small role as the waiting room nurse on Mad Men this week. (Oddly, especially for someone with such pop-culture juice, it hasn’t popped up on her IMDB page yet.) She gets to tell off a guy who’s waiting for his wife to have their first kid. He’s kind of a dick to her, hence the wry smile…
Serak Is Sad
“Well, if you wanted to make Serak the Preparer cry, mission accomplished.” – Kang Do you have $30 dollars you don’t need? How about $60? Want a pair of 6-inch Kang and Kodos dolls? They come out next month, so start saving your pennies. Here’s the kicker though, they come “blind boxed”, which means you don’t know which one you’re going to get. Question: if you order two are you guaranteed one of each? They aren’t officially for sale yet so I couldn’t find an answer on the website. Are they greedy enough to make you keep ordering? Do the…
Quote of the Day
“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.” – Homer Simpson
“Worst Episode Ever” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“How come I’ve never seen that Itchy and Scratchy before?” – Bart Simpson “Perhaps because you are a pre-pubescent ignoramus.” – Comic Book Guy Like the Sideshow Bob episode, this one has a couple of okay moments, but it isn’t nearly enough to overcome Homer’s overwhelming stupidity, way too much Comic Book Guy doing things that he’d never do, painfully slow dialogue, and scenes that drag on far too long. The hell of it is, this one actually has a serviceable plot in that the only thing you really need to overlook is a couple of ten year olds (that…
Technical difficulties, indeed
In other news, Kanye West’s spectacular asshattery on an awards show I didn’t watch on a channel I don’t care about has yielded a full-blown internet meme. There’s a list to browse through, but I thought this Simpsons-related mashup from Holy Taco was particularly inspired:
Quote of the Day
“There, that’s the last condom wrapper.” – Sideshow Bob “I renew my objection to this pointless endeavor, informally now and by affidavit later. Time permitting.” – Sideshow Bob
Abbey Roads
This “Abbey Road” inspired commercial for the Beatles version of Rock Band was broadcast relentlessly during football yesterday: That reminded me that last month there was another uptick in Beatles nostalgia because it was the 40th anniversary of the cover photo for “Abbey Road”. As a result the were lots of blog posts and other internet errata talking about it. Particularly, there were lots of compilations (like this one) of various parody and homage images. This includes a Simpsons rendering of it originally produced for Rolling Stone to promote the 14th season. I get that the Rolling Stone thing is cute, it’s…
Quote of the Day
“Who the hell are you?” – Bart Simpson “My name’s Todd, will you be my friend?” – Todd Flanders “You’re funny, hahaha!” – Todd Flanders