“Sammy, you’re too old to go on a date with two twins on the same night you’re supposed marry Diane without Rebecca knowing.” – Carla “Okay, Carla, I’ll make you a bet. If this affects my Major League comeback I’ll sell the bar.” – Sam As part of our tireless efforts to demonstrate the many ways Zombie Simpsons fails to entertain, Season 23 will be subjected to the kind of rigorous examination that can only be produced by people typing short messages at one another. More dedicated or modern individuals might use Twitter for this, but that’s got graphics and…
Month: November 2011
Quote of the Day
“Mrs. Krabappel, in figuring out my final grades I hope you’ll note that all of my textbooks are being returned in excellent condition, in some cases still in their original wrappings.” – Bart Simpson “Duly noted.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Compare & Contrast: Flapping Dickey
“It ain’t comedy that’s in my blood; it’s selling out.” – Krusty the Klown I’ve started quite a few Compare & Contrast posts this season by noting that there were a lot of different possibilities for what to compare and contrast. It’s true as well for “The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants”, the two big, blinking neon obvious ones being the raft trip and Homer becoming an executive. The raft trip in “Boy Scoutz ‘N the Hood” contains things like Flanders doing “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe” with the books of the Gospel and Homer actually bragging that they’re all…
Quote of the Day
“Uh, these aren’t real x-rays are they?” – Milhouse van Houten “Good question! We’ll check into that. Okay, x-ray machine to full power and . . . action!” – Director
Over the Falls
“Simpson, stop frolicking and get to work!” – Mr. Smithers “Right away, Mr. Smithers, I’ll just walk across these slippery rocks . . .” – Homer Simpson Near the end of “The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants” a man on a jet ski appears from the sky just before a raft with several able bodied men plunges over a waterfall because another able bodied man wouldn’t push them slightly to shore. At that point, Zombie Simpsons could safely assume that its audience was completely numb to plot whiplash. I certainly thought I was. Then Homer, who less than a…
Quote of the Day
“Oh, I hate these flood pants . . . hey, they’re working. My feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone dry. Everything’s coming up Milhouse!” – Milhouse van Houten Happy birthday to Pamela Hayden!
Sunday Preview: The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants
Image improved by Dave, as always. Zombie Simpsons is making Homer an executive tonight. I swear I’ve seen that before somewhere, but I can’t quite place it. Simpsons Channel has the grisly details: THE SIMPSONS host a tastemaker party at their home to promote Absolut Krusty, Krusty the Clown’s own brand of liquor. Mr. Burns takes notice of the party’s success and decides to promote Homer to “Account Man” for the Springfield Nuclear Plant. Robert Marlow (guest voice John Slattery), a seasoned account veteran, takes Homer under his wing and shows Homer what the high life is like in the…
Quote of the Day
“Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart corporation.” – Executive “But, sir, I was only following standard procedure.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Ah, true. But it’s also standard procedure to blame any problems on a scapegoat or sacrificial lamb.” – Executive “Uh-huh. And if I can obtain for you these animals?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“Music is none of my business.” – Marge Simpson “That’s fine for you, Marge, but I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I’m lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Wes Archer!
Reading Digest: Muppets Edition
“Dad, what’s a Muppet?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, it’s not quite a mop, and it’s not quite a puppet, but man . . . so to answer your question, I don’t know.” – Homer Simpson Shorter than usual Reading Digest this week on account of Thanksgiving, but there are a couple of links relating to the new Muppet movie. One is the quote above, which was very popular when discussing the revival of the moribund Muppets franchise, the other is a reference to none other than Poochie by the director himself. As usual, once The Simpsons comments on something, it…
Quote of the Day
“I keep hearing this horrible, irregular thumping noise.” – Homer Simpson “It’s your heart, and I think it’s on its last thump.” – Mechanic “Whew, I was afraid it was my transmission.” – Homer Simpson “Hey, where’s he going?” – Billy “Billy, remember that old Plymouth we just couldn’t fix?” – Mechanic “We’re going to sell him to Mr. Nikolopoulos?” – Billy “You’re a dull boy, Billy.” – Mechanic
Quote of the Day
“Now, before we sit down to our delicious turkey puree, I have some happy news. The following people have relatives who wish they could be here today: Antonovsky, Conroy, Falcone, Martin, Thorson, and Walsh . . . oh, and Mrs. Spencer, you too.” – Springfield Retirement Castle Guy “Oh, I knew they wouldn’t forget me.” – Mrs. Spencer
Compare & Contrast: Defeating the Bad Guy
“Wait, come back! You can’t do this to me! I’m Charles Montgomery Burns!” – C.M. Burns As an audience member, there are few things more satisfying that a good defeat of a wretched villain. Unfortunately, that also means when things go wrong, when the villain is bland or the ending is weak, it is correspondingly unsatisfying. At the end of the “The Book Job”, Homer and his improbable posse use what Lisa describes as an idea from “every movie ever” to stymie a book publisher who, despite what the music would have you believe, isn’t all that evil. I say…
Quote of the Day
“You know, when I was a girl, I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience.” – Marge Simpson
Crazy Noises: The Book Job
“It’s not your fault, Homer, it’s those lousy writers. They make me madder than a, um. . . yak in heat.” – Marge Simpson As part of our tireless efforts to demonstrate the many ways Zombie Simpsons fails to entertain, Season 23 will be subjected to the kind of rigorous examination that can only be produced by people typing short messages at one another. More dedicated or modern individuals might use Twitter for this, but that’s got graphics and short links and little windows that pop up when you put your cursor over things. The only kind of on-line communications…
Quote of the Day
“Prison bus, Otto?” – Bart Simpson “The regular school bus broke down, so take a seat before I blow your heads off!” – Otto “Otto!” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, sorry, this bus and I have sort of a Shining thing going on.” – Otto
Nobody Cares About Reading
“Okay, we’ve got the secret vigilante handshake, now we need codenames. I’ll be Cue Ball, Skinner can be Eight Ball, Barney will be Twelve Ball, and, Moe, you can be Cue Ball.” – Homer Simpson “You’re an idiot.” – Moe The last two episodes of Zombie Simpsons have seen the entire opening, couch gag and all, dropped completely. They’ve also featured Matt Selman’s name before Al Jean’s in the customary spot for the show runner. Not coincidentally, the last two episodes have also seen the show impressively manage to get even further away from what once made it great. At…
Quote of the Day
“Tonight, we salute the silver anniversary of the great Springfield Tire Yard Fire, twenty-five years and still burning strong!” – Kent Brockman Happy 20th anniversary to “Flaming Moe’s”! Original airdate 21 November 1991.
Sunday Preview: The Book Job
There’s no bloody image this week because we respect Neil Gaiman even when he momentarily discards his love of good storytelling and voices himself on Zombie Simpsons. The episode itself, however, is going to suck and suck hard: Lisa becomes disheartened when she learns the shocking truth behind the ‘tween lit’ industry and her beloved fantasy novel characters. But Homer decides to cash in on the craze and forms a team to group-write the next ‘tween lit’ hit, with the king of fantasy, Neil Gaiman (guest-voicing as himself), lending his expertise to the effort. After catching the eye of a…
Quote of the Day
“We now return to ‘When Buildings Collapse’ on Non Stop Fox!” – FOX Announcer