“Wait, Marlon, you know I just had a thought. Maybe we’re bothering people by trying to change their religion. What if we don’t have all the answers?” – Maureen the Jehovah’s Witness “You’re right, Maureen, let’s go get real jobs.” – Marlon the Jehovah’s Witness
Month: November 2011
Reading Digest: Future Canadian Prime Minister Edition
Google didn’t turn up the usual amount of stuff and WordPress had one of its occasional hiccups where it didn’t correctly index the Simpsons tags for a couple of days, so this week’s Reading Digest is shorter than usual. Despite the abnormal length we’ve still got a hallucinatory pepper, a real Duff beer advertising campaign, my new favorite cover band, ancient chess pieces, and the greatest MP in the history of Canada. Enjoy. Bad Rooster – Rolling in the Deep, featuring Marge Simpson – It’s a five piece bad whose lead singer is wearing a Marge Simpson costume while she…
Quote of the Day
“Marge, I’m going to Moe’s. Send the kids to the neighbors’, I’m coming back loaded!” – Homer Simpson
A Brief Note on Fake Brands
“Another Duff, Homer?” – Moe “Nah, it’s Friday night, Moe. I want to try something special.” – Homer Simpson “Ah, sure, sure, here you go: Düff, from Sweden.” – Moe “Skoal!” – Homer Simpson After the spastic fit of fake brands that was the opening to “The Food Wife”, I and several others pointed out how weak the brand parodies are on Zombie Simpsons. As was brought up in comments, not only were many of them repeats, but they mostly aren’t even creative. Partly this is the same problem that plagues newer Treehouse of Horror episodes: weak source material. The…
Quote of the Day
“What’s the name of this gastropod?” – C.M. Burns “Simpson, sir, one of your chair moisteners from Sector 7-G.” – Mr. Smithers
Crazy Noises: The Food Wife
“And you’ve never found anything?” – Bart Simpson “Once, but by the time I got to a phone my discovery had already been reported by Principal Kohoutek. I got back at him, though, him and that little boy of his . . . anyway, that’s why I always keep a cellular phone next to me.” – Principal Skinner As part of our tireless efforts to demonstrate the many ways Zombie Simpsons fails to entertain, Season 23 will be subjected to the kind of rigorous examination that can only be produced by people typing short messages at one another. More dedicated…
Quote of the Day
“You’re a member of the Stonecutters, Grampa?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, sure, let’s see, I’m an Elk, a Mason, a Communist, I’m the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason. Ah, here it is, the Stonecutters.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!
Compare & Contrast: Conventioneering
“Sorry kids, but this is the one event I want my darling wife by my side.” – Homer Simpson “Oh, well thank you, Homer. But take one of the kids.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, they can’t carry enough candy! They have puny little muscles, not big ropey ones like you.” – Homer Simpson Like last week, there are quite a few aspects of “The Food Wife” which were done better on actual episodes of The Simpsons. There was the family trying out ethnic food, which made more sense and had more to do with the rest of the episode in…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, what gives? These donuts are piling up.” – Donut Guy “Homer Simpson went on a diet.” – Carl “Oh my God, and I just bought a boat!” – Donut Guy
Zombie Simpsons Lives In Brentwood, Thinks Everyone Else Does Too
“Look everybody, my purse exploded!” – Marge Simpson “Come on everybody, we’re going to the fanciest restaurant in town!” – Homer Simpson There once was a show called The Simpsons. It was about an upper-lower-middle class family that lived in small town Anywhere, USA. That family wasn’t quite poor, but they could only barely make ends meet. Their city wasn’t a thriving metropolis, it was another beat up burgh whose past was brighter than its future. Part of what made the show so searingly funny was the way it took unpleasant realities like staving off poverty and living in America’s…
Bonus Quote of the Day
“I don’t judge Homer and Marge, that’s for a vengeful God to do.” – Maude Flanders Happy birthday Maggie Roswell!
Quote of the Day
“Unfortunately, a century of neglect has turned this tombstone into a depressing eyesore.” – Dr. Nick Riviera “So, what? I guess we’re gonna have to throw it away.” – Troy McClure “Not so fast, Troy! With one application of Spiffy, you’ll think the body’s still warm.” – Dr. Nick Riviera Happy 20th Anniversary to “Saturdays of Thunder”! Original airdate: 14 November 1991.
Sunday Preview: The Food Wife
As always, credit to Dave for the hemoglobin. For your viewing displeasure this evening, Zombie Simpsons is going to make another blind stab at relevance by having Marge and the kids blog about food. Simpsons Channel didn’t have a preview image, but there was a YouTube video in which Homer gets hurt and has his pants fall down. I laughed at this; not because it’s funny, but because it reminded me of The Critic. When Jay Sherman goes to Los Angeles to become a screen writer, he got hired to write “Ghostchasers 3”. While having a meeting with the studio,…
Quote of the Day
“How do you know you don’t like bribes if you’ve never taken one? Here.” – Fat Tony “Say, this is nice. No, no bribes!” – Rex Banner “Okay, you win. From now on we’ll stick to smuggling heroin.” – Fat Tony “See that you do.” – Rex Banner Happy birthday Joe Mantegna!
Quote of the Day
Image shamelessly yoinked from here. “Live from the Grand Ballroom of the Hapsburg Imperial Palace, it’s the World Series of Bumper Cars!” – TV Announcer
Reading Digest: Arcade Game Edition
“I’ve got lots of quarters.” – Homer Simpson “This thing only takes dollars.” – Bart Simpson From multiple sources this week comes the news that the venerable Simpsons Arcade Game is being developed for a re-release on Xbox Live. I don’t think there’s much to say about the game. It was kinda fun, but if it hadn’t been a “Simpsons” game I don’t think people would care much. The irony is that it actually wasn’t a Simpsons game, at least not exclusively. Jake dropped this helpful nugget in a comment thread a while back: Jake 12 January 2011 at 5:50…
Quote of the Day
“Congratulations, you are all World War I historical recreationists!” – German Instructor “Yay! . . . uh, oh.” – World War I Historical Recreationists
Quote of the Day
“This can’t be right. This man has a hundred and four percent body fat. Hey, no eating in the tank!” – Physical Guy “Go to hell.” – Homer Simpson
Crazy Noises: Replaceable You
“I got a wife and kids. Oh, that reminds me, they’re probably wondering where I went.” – Larry With its phony kidnapping and pointless police chase, “Burns, Baby Burns” does not have what you’d call a great ending. The story didn’t really have anywhere to go, so they had Larry explain that he had to go back to his home planet, turned up some music, and had Homer tell Marge (standing in for the audience), “It doesn’t have to make sense.” In other words, the admittedly nonsensical dance party was the Season 8 writers at least having the courtesy to…
Quote of the Day
“Nurse, someone’s trying to kill me!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Okay, we’ll do something about that right away. Let’s start by doubling your medication.” – Springfield Retirement Castle Nurse