“These Hardy Boys books are great, too. This one’s about smugglers.” – Homer Simpson “They’re all about smugglers.” – Bart Simpson “Not this one, The Smugglers of Pirate Cove, it’s about pirates.” – Homer Simpson If you’re reading this post then you’ve probably already read the “Zombie Simpsons” mini-book. That little thing would’ve been much worse if not for the help of, as I said in the acknowledgements, “my friend Liz”. Well, today Liz became a for-real published author with her first dead tree book, Hunted: As you can probably judge from the cover, it’s a mystery novel. Specifically, it’s…
Year: 2013
Quote of the Day
“Are you sure you want a child, Apu?” – Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon “You know, I do. I mean, there comes a time in a man’s life when he asks himself: who will float my corpse down the Ganges?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“Howdy, stranger.” – The Devil “I’m Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?” – Bart Simpson “Ah, please allow me to introduce myself, I’m the Devil.” – The Devil
Quote of the Day
“Yeah, it’s a good idea, Homer, but they’ve already made some movies about World War II.” – Drunken Troy McClure
Quote of the Day
“Bart was strangely quiet. Later he explained he was confused by feelings of respect for me. It wouldn’t last.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Homer Impregnates Patty & Selma Edition
“Is Marge here?” – Homer Simpson “Who?” – Patty Bouvier “Or what, are you?” – Selma Bouvier “I’m her date.” – Homer Simpson “I suppose you want to come in and sit down.” – Patty Bouvier “Oh, okay.” – Homer Simpson “Marge’s dates get homelier all the time.” – Selma Bouvier “That’s what you get when you don’t put out.” – Patty Bouvier It’s that weird week of the year between Christmas and New Year’s, when internet traffic plummets, the news goes into recycle mode with cheap posts about best this and worst that, and nobody much talks about The Simpsons…
Quote of the Day
“What? What is it? What are you doing?” – Homer Simpson “Looking at you with quiet awe.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, as long as its quiet.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I never should’ve bought this button! Can I have my three dollars back?” – Homer Simpson “Store credit only.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“Hey, since when is Christmas just about the presents? Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day: the birth of Santa?” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“It’s been great spending time with my family again. I guess the next time I see you won’t be until Thanksgiving.” – Jacqueline Bouvier “Or if not then . . . Christmas.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Sir, have you had enough exercise for this morning?” – Mr. Smithers “No. Let’s go another twenty miles.” – C.M. Burns Happy birthday Harry Shearer!
Quote of the Day
“Hey, hey, Lurleen! I gotta say something to you.” – Homer Simpson “I’m listening.” – Lurleen Lumpkin “Your song touched me in a way I’ve never felt before. And which way to the can?” – Homer Simpson (Sorry for the late quote.)
Quote of the Day
“Don’t worry, son. Just cause you’re trapped in a hole doesn’t mean you can’t live a rich and full life. I brought you your Krusty doll.” – Homer Simpson “Ow! Knock it off you bald boob!” – Bart Simpson “Hey, don’t make me come down there!” – Homer Simpson “I’d like to see you fit!” – Bart Simpson
Reading Digest: Google Translate Edition
“Please to repeat again, and I will translating for the El Presidente.” – Aide “Which way does the water turn in your toilet?” – Bart Simpson “He says the tide is turning!” – Aide “!Ay Caramba! Then the rebels will soon take the Capital!” – El Presidente We’ve got two posts this week brought to you by the algorithmic magic of Google Translate, one a discussion of censorship in France, the other a Swede who agrees with us. (All hail Google and its glorious new regime!) Other than that it’s a bit short this week, partly because it’s getting…
Quote of the Day
“You heard me, I won’t be in for the rest of the week. . . . I told you, my baby beat me up. . . . Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Homer Simpson, I thought you dropped out.” – Principal Dondelinger “You wish, Dondelinger.” – Homer Simpson “That’s Mister Dondelinger.” – Principal Dondelinger
Quote of the Day
“You’re right, I’ve been wasting my life away in that dump for years. That’s it! I’m going to find a new bar to drink in, and I’m going to get drunker than I’ve ever been in my entire life!” – Homer Simpson
Sight Gags: Marge Be Not Proud
“It’s a Krusty Kinda Kristmas, brought to you by ILG, selling your body’s chemicals after you die. And by Little Sweetheart Cupcakes, a subsidiary of ILG.” – TV Announcer He is Carvallo: And I’ll bet they don’t even pay overtime: But could you use Hitler’s brain to construct an unbeatable swimmer?: I used to have an old Apple II game that let you play all the winter Olympic sports, even biathlon. It sucked: Could be worse, could be a soap bar stabbing:
Some More Simpsons Day YouTube
I have nothing that can compare with the pure, ancient memory trip of that earlier video, but these are pretty good. Not much in the way of new information in this first one, but you can see Jean and Groening as younger than now but not so painfully young as they were in that other one.: Here’s BBC Radio 1’s Top 40 countdown for when “Do the Bartman” took #1. Here’s an Australian Channel Ten promo for “Bart the General”: Same thing, but for “The Call of the Simpsons”: Presented by Sega and preceeding Doogie Howser. Here’s a Pizza Hut…
Sight Gags: Homer’s Triple Bypass
“Ahh, little Homer . . . How’d he get that?” – Abraham Simpson Homer’s maternity ward: Reputable health insurance: Springfield General is a very strict hospital: And now, people who look like things: Surgical audience: