“Now that that unpleasantness is behind us forever . . .” – Selma Bouvier [Note: It has become apparent, much to my disappointment, that I cannot run a website that criticizes Zombie Simpsons without, you know, watching the damn episodes. So I’m going to try this out as a low effort way to make fun of them and give people a place to bitch.] Oh look, a Breaking Bad opening that comes after that show has been cancelled and the internet did a better job a full year ago. “The coolest sushi restaurant in town” – Springfield continues to resembled…
Month: April 2013
Quote of the Day
“Alright, brain, you don’t like me and I don’t like you. But let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.” – Homer Simpson “It’s a deal.” – Homer’s Brain Happy 20th anniversary to “The Front”! Original airdate 15 April 1993.
Sunday Preview: What Animated Women Want
Wanda Sykes and George Takei guest voice as a couple experiencing marital differences. After watching A Streetcar Named Desire Milhouse takes on a Marlon Brando-inspired bad-boy persona to attract Lisa. Milhouse seeks then advice from the school counselor. Homer tries to save his marriage by becoming a better man and fulfilling old promises when Marge becomes fed up with his behavior and he seeks advice from his local sushi chef. Seems like a lot is going on tonight. All this and a Breaking Bad couch gag to boot. Which, even as someone who watches Breaking Bad, I am a little lost on. Its not a parody, its sort of just…
Quote of the Day
“Let me ask you something, does your money cheer you up when you’re feeling blue?” – Homer Simpson “Yes.” – C.M. Burns “Okay, bad example.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You fool! Now we may never know if ants can be trained to sort tiny screws in space.” – Buzz Aldrin
Reading Digest: Retroactive Conan O’Brien Edition
“You know, Conan, I have a lot to say. I’m not just a one line wonder. Did you know that a section of rain forest the size of Kansas is burned every single-” – Bart Simpson “Just do the line.” – Conan O’Brien We’ve got two links to the tall Irishman today, one from the man himself. O’Brien got Jean, Reiss, Jay Kogen and Jeff Martin to sit down and talk about the show. The link we have is just the preview, but the whole thing will be up on Monday. The other O’Brien link is a look back at…
Quote of the Day
“Are we there yet?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “No.” – Homer Simpson “Are we there yet?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “No.” – Homer Simpson “Are we there yet?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “No.” – Homer Simpson “Where are we going?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “We’re going to Storytown Village, Grampa. It’s an amusement park for babies.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, just leave me in the car with the window open a crack.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “That’s the plan!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Ah, Spring Break in Hong Kong, custom made suits at slave labor prices.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Who would’ve thought that pushing a boy into the girls’ lavatory could be such a thrill? The screams, the humiliation, the fact that it wasn’t me! I’ve never felt so alive!” – Martin Prince
Quote of the Day
“Now, if something should go wrong, let’s not get the law involved. One hand washes the other. Ooh that reminds me . . .” – Dr. Nick Riviera
Quote of the Day
“You were one nifty number.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Boys all paid attention to me, and it drove my friends crazy.” – Jacqueline Bouvier “Oh, who were your friends?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Oh, Zelda Fitzgerald, Francis Farmer, and little Sylvia Plath.” – Jacqueline Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“I could call ’em for you.” – Leon Kompowski “Oh, great. And try to put a good face on this. Tell ’em this one of those places where rich women lose weight.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“To Homer, and to Sgt. Pepper, who’s growing out of the middle of your back.” – Barney Gumble “Uh, Barn, you gotta unwrap the plastic before you smoke these.” – Moe
Reading Digest: Australian Sports Edition
“You call that a knife? This is a knife.” – Not Paul Hogan “That’s not a knife, that’s a spoon.” – Bart Simpson “Alright, alright, you win. I see you’ve played knifey-spoony before.” – Not Paul Hogan This week we’ve got two links to the Australian sporting scene, one a commentary and one about an Australian rules football player whose name is Grimes. And yes, his teammates call him exactly what you think they’d call him. In addition to that we’ve got an excellent piece of (officially sanctioned) fan art, lots of excellent usage (including a teacher using the Simpsons…
Quote of the Day
“You know, I can’t believe we’re talking about the same movie. I thought McBain was a non-stop rollercoaster of chills, thrills, spills and kills! And that chase at the end, my friend?” – Not Ebert “Are you nuts? That movie stinks like your creepy one bedroom apartment.” – Not Siskel “Your mother didn’t think it was so creepy.” – Not Ebert “My mother, real mature. I’m sick of your grade school insults.” – Not Siskel “I love watching the bald guy argue with the fat tub of lard.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Where are my pants?” – Homer Simpson “You threw them out the window in a fit of passion. You said you were never going to need them again.” – Marge Simpson “Oh, hurry, Neddy. They’re awful.” – Maude Flanders “You just be ready with that garbage bag.” – Ned Flanders
Quote of the Day
“I think a hurricane is coming!” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, Lisa, there’s no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield.” – Homer Simpson “Yes, but the records only go back to 1978 when the hall of records was mysteriously blown away.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“My, these seas are certainly heaving.” – Marge Simpson “Well, no more than your bountiful bosom, m’lady.” – Not Fabio “Does that earring mean you’re a pirate?” – Marge Simpson “Kinda.” – Not Fabio
Quote of the Day
“I have an unorthodox solution: a fantastic voyage, if you will. Three scientists, one a beautiful woman, will be shrunk to microscopic size. They will then rendezvous in Mr. Simpson’s lower colon.” – Professor Frink “Eww.” – Marge, Bart & Lisa Simpson “Well, we have had a little trouble finding volunteers.” – Professor Frink Happy 20th Anniversary to “So It’s Come to This”! Original airdate 1 April 1993.